A Chick With A Dick

A Chick With A Dick
Author Name – Dark Cloud
Contents Code – FF, nc, anal, drugs, fDom
Celebs – Lily Allen, Cheryl Tweedy

Disclaimer: This is a very adult themed piece of erotic fiction and should not be read by anyone under the age of eighteen or by anyone who does not like hardcore descriptions of sex and violence. The people written about here would never act like this in the real world.

Girls Aloud star Cheryl Tweedy has branded her pop rival Lily Allen a “chick with a dick”.

The star made the stinging accusation on celebrity chef Gordon Ramsey’s
show ‘The F Word’, where he read out celebrities comments about Tweedy to wind her up.

After being reminded Lily once claimed no one wanted to look like Tweedy, Cheryl shot back, “Because everyone wants to look like her. Chick with a dick.”

The wife of Chelsea footballer Ashley Cole was similarly charming about Charlotte Church, who she had a long-running feud with.

She ranted, “She’s either talking shit or talking about someone else. Asshole,” after Gordon read out some of the Welsh singer’s old barbs


Yesterday Lily Allen was thinking about gastric surgery and feeling fat and ugly. Today she’s revealed its Girls Aloud Cheryl Cole’s fault.

In her blog she admitted she feels better thanks to readers comments and explains.

“I think I was just having ahard time last week. After reading Cheryl Tweedy’s comments branding me a “chick with a dick” I was feeling pretty low.

Launcing her catty criticism of Cheryl she says.

“I know I’ve said bad things about people in the past bit this I mean… I may not be as pretty as you but at least I write and sing my own songs without the aid of autotune.”

It continues: “I must say taking your clothes off, doing sexy dancing and mattying a rich footballer must be very gratifying, your mother must be so proud, stupid bitch.”

As expected, Cheryl Cole has hit back at Lily Allen’s, um, hitting back at Cheryl Cole.

After Cheryl called Lily a “chick with a dick” last week, Lily posted an emotional message on her blog saying she felt “fat and ugly” but later, when she had pulled herself together again, launched an attack on Cheryl, focusing on their different ways they pursue their pop careers.

But Cheryl was not prepared to take the comments lying down. She said yesterday: “Yes, I was bitchy about her but I never mentioned her weight. Quite frankly I couldn’t care less if she has a dick or not.”

“I have had enough of her and her big mouth.”

“Over the last few months she has called [Girls Aloud bandmate Nicola Roberts] ugly, which I bit my tongue over. She called [other bandmate Sarah Harding] vile and my husband horrendous, but seems to have conveniently forgotten all of that.”

“I can’t stand people who give it but aren’t prepared to take it back. If that’s the case she should keep her mouth shut instead of feeling sorry for herself.”

“I could go on but I left school a long time ago and have no time for this.”

“I’m currently on a big arena tour with the girls singing live each night. Lily, I could find you a spare ticket if you’d like to come and experience what a live arena tour is like … as that’s the closest you’ll get to it.”


The furore seemed to be dying down when there was a party at one of the London clubs and Cheryl had put the whole spat behind her and was looking forward to a good night. The night got off to a bad start as her closest friends Sarah and Kimberley phoned minutes before they were due to meet Cheryl outside the party to tell her that Sarah’s car had a flat tyre and they were trying to get it sorted and for her to go on ahead of them. Now Cheryl was quite the drinker normally, usually able to hold her booze with the best of them so her early couple of vodka’s wouldn’t normally have impaired her too much. But then she never noticed the mysterious hand that emptied a packet of something into her drink while she was distracted.

With the party busy enough, though not yet in full swing, it proved laughably easy to support and remove what appeared to be a paraletically drunk Cheryl and help her to a waiting taxi and from there into a waiting room…


Cheryl started to regain her bearings some time later and the first thing that struck her confused and bewildered mind was the most awful taste in her mouth and the motion of her head bobbing backwards and forth. Painfully slowly she started to come to her senses and take in more of her surroundings and what she was doing. It seemed late, her head was throbbing, there was soft music played down low in the background and her tongue was inside something wet that was covered in hard, bristling hair. With a sudden flash of comprehension she opened her eyes wide (too quickly as a stab of pain went right through her skull) and to her complete horror found herself looking up from between a pair of legs and further up that body was Lily, her mortal enemy, smiling down at her.

Cheryl quickly disconnected her tongue from up inside Lily’s snatch (uurgh the taste!), spitting black pubic hairs desperately as she shuffled away on her knees. She reversed all the way back until she bumped into legs behind her and found herself turning round (still really sore to move her head) to look up at Charlotte Church, Lily’s friend, looking down at her and holding a camcorder in her right hand. Only then did it dawn on Cheryl that she was stark naked and belatedly she tried to cover her modesty. Dazed and confused and with the other two girls openly chuckling she rounded on them angrily.

“What the fuck’s going on? How the fuck did I end up here? What the fuck are you doing to me?”

Lily took great pleasure in filling her rival in on what was ‘going on here’.

“Dear me Cheryl, quite the potty mouth aren’t you. Well my love you were at a party and had rather too much to drink and we got chatting and made up, and well, one thing led to an other and here we are. You seemed desperate to eat me out, and here was me thinking you were such a cock hound!!”

It was said in such a false manner that Cheryl knew it was bullshit, but the problem was although she knew she would never have done what Lily had just described she had no recollection of exactly what had happened or how she had got in this predicament.

“Whatever! Just give me my clothes and I’ll get out of here! No way would I ever go with a woman, far less a dog like you!”

Lily just kept on smiling, it was an unnerving, malicious smile and her voice held unseen malice as she looked down at the still kneeling Cheryl.

“I don’t know where your clothes are Cheryl, you seemed to lose them very easily, but I imagine you are used to that! But don’t go just yet, we’ve only just begun playing. Why don’t we let Charlotte get you up to speed so far. Lottie?”

With a mock flourish Charlotte pointed to the television on the far wall of Lily’s bedroom (for that was where they were) and pressing a button on the camcorder which was linked to the TV it burst into life. Cheryl knelt between the to hefty girls and watched in growing dismay as the action from earlier that evening unfolded before her very eyes. She recognised herself in the outfit she had started the night in, memories slowly returning to her of earlier, she was being led by the hand by Lily into the bedroom they were all in now. Lily was all smiles and Cheryl appeared a giggling, bumbling, drunken fool. She was doing what Lily was saying but by no means being coerced on screen.

They giggled and fumbled and looked very friendly and Cheryl was clinging all over Lily, though mostly to stay up. With the sound turned down it was near impossible to hear the words being spoken but as if at an instruction Cheryl began drunkenly stripping off, not caring that she was being filmed or where her outfit landed. Worse, she then started tugging at Lily’s clothing and ended up stripping her off too until they were both naked and the tumbled clumsily together onto the bed and began to kiss each other.

This was terrible for Cheryl to watch, she glanced to her left at the naked Lily and was repulsed. How could she have done this? Lily had a gut, her tits were saggy and worst of all that extremely hair pussy that was totally unkempt looking that her face had so recently been buried in. it was excruciatingly painful viewing for Cheryl she knew no good would result of this but she could not tear her eyes for long from the on screen event.

Things just got grimmer and grimmer for Cheryl as she watched on, the inebriated Cheryl on the screen was laughing and giggling as she fumbled between Lily’s thighs, very obviously playing with the dark haired girl’s pussy lips. Lily lay back on the bed and Cheryl kind of lost her balance and ended up lying on top of Lily’s tits and then they were kissing before Lily gently guided Cheryl’s face down between her legs. Cheryl cringed as she watched herself begin to eagerly lick at Lily’s pussy and then alternate her tongue with her fingers to play with her rival and start to bring the bigger girl towards an orgasm. And oh when she came, boy did she come! Charlotte managed to get right in to close up on Cheryl’s face as her fingers and tongue foraged in the jungle of black pubic hairs when suddenly Lily’s hips bucked wildly and a fierce jet of juices squirted out and splattered all over Cheryl’s smiling face. It went in her mouth, over her lips, dripped from her chin and even up her nose.

Back in the here and now Cheryl touched her face and now knew what that disgusting taste and smell really was and once more came close to retching and vomiting, only just managing to hold it off because she was trying concentrate on what Lily was saying to her as she paused the video.

“There’s more Cheryl, if you want to see it, some really good stuff as well, stuff I never would have dreamed you were into, certainly not with someone like me. Yes I really do think your friends and just about everybody is going to be shocked when Charlotte posts this on that home-made videos website. Especially after all the names you called me, maybe you were just covering your real feelings.”

The ridicule and derision was no barely hidden in Lily’s voice, she was enjoying the moment too much and Cheryl, as her senses continued to come back to her both realised she was totally fucked and that Lily had her just where she wanted her, no doubt it had been a set up but seeing the tape, what could she do? Still on her knees she pleaded to both girls to not show the tape and it was at this point that Lily revealed her true plan to her beaten and humiliated antagonist. As agreeable as it had been to have Cheryl do all that she had done earlier on in her contrived semi-drunk/drugged, lesbian state she had known little of what she was doing, her body working under suggestion and lack of control. What Lily really wanted was to go even further with Cheryl but that Cheryl be fully aware and reluctant to what she was doing.

“Yeah, I suppose it would be embarrassing if everyone found out you got off on eating out someone like me, wouldn’t it? I mean being a, what was it again? ‘A chick with a dick’. That was funny wasn’t it, I bet you laughed, I know everyone else did, the whole world thought it was hilarious, that was my name wasn’t it? Chick with a dick.”

“No. I didn’t mean to…”

Cheryl broke off her pleading as Lily turned on her, any pretence of being pleasant was long gone and her round face was contorted with viciousness and anger and hatred.

“Shut up! Just shut the fuck up and listen! YOU started it! You called me a chick with a dick! So that’s what I am going to be! And if you don’t want the whole fucking world knowing what you and I did you are going to do just what I say!”

Lily was enraged and a scary sight to behold, especially from such a low position as Cheryl was in. Even more so when Lily reached to a box on a shelf and took it down, she tore the lid off it and jerked out its contents – a mammothly long and thick, black, strap on dildo. Lily didn’t even look at Cheryl as she stepped into the harness and pulled it up around her crotch to tighten. Only once it was fastened and jutting out obscenely directly at Cheryl did she address her again.

“So now I am a chick with a dick, and what a nice, big dick it is and I’ll tell you what you prick teasing slut, if you don’t want that video getting public, if you don’t wanted every person on the net having a copy of the link to the clip then you are going to take my dick in every hole you have got!”

Cheryl’s mind was frazzled, between the fog of the powder she had been slipped and the bizarre nature of this situation she was totally lost for words or actions. She sensed Lily had nothing to lose, she had no reputation to be spoiled by calling her bluff about the video while all Cheryl could think of was her future career being dogged by this video. Her normal brazen exterior and attitude was broken and departed and she just dropped her head and simply nodded an ascent like a little school girl being given detention. She got no sympathy from Lily though.

“Well get on the bed bitch, on your front, I’ll do you like the dog you are!”

While Cheryl’s mind tried to process all that had happened her body was busy doing what Lily was telling her to do. She risked one look back over her shoulder at that indecent plastic phallus pointing ominously at her. from this point of view, as she sprawled ungainly onto Lily’s bed, it loomed terribly behind her, like some black leviathan from the deep and the through of taking it inside her was not pleasant. Right then though, the thought of her friends and teachers discovering that she had so eagerly thrown herself into Lily’s arms (drunken or not the video clearly showed her desperate to please Lily and some of the stuff she had done was so embarrassing) was worse.

“Think we’ll need some lube Charlotte!”

Sang out Lily in a voice that betrayed some kind of mania and the inconspicuous girl handed Lily a small tube which she cracked open and dripped onto the end of her fake cock. Lily paused for a moment, kneeling at the end of her bed between Cheryl’s poised and braced legs, to gaze up the lithe body of the girl who had made her life such unbearable hell for the past few weeks. There was no denying how gorgeous a young woman Cheryl was, in a momentary stupor Lily gently ran her palms over the tender, soft flesh of Cheryl’s ass and the dipped lower to stroke along the full length of Cheryl’s shaven pussy lips and play for a moment with her clit. For that brief moment Lily had a dreamy countenance and even a smile on her face then suddenly she snapped and with a hard slap to Cheryl’s perfect ass cheeks she thrust herself into action.

She used her hands to guide the bulbous tip of the dildo to Cheryl’s spread pussy lips and inched it inside to a small moan from Cheryl, then she put both her hands around Cheryl’s hips and launched herself forward in one hard, ramming penetration.

“Chick with a dick am I? Eh? To fucking right I am and I’m going to make you regret that you nasty little slut!”

Cheryl was no novice when it came to having sex. She had lost her virginity a while back and since then had been with a number of different guys but she had never felt anything as long, as thick or as hard inside her pussy. She gasped and lurched forward as she was fully penetrated and felt the sides of her pussy walls being pushed back with every inch more that the dildo pushed inside her. Then the pressure went away as Lily drew back for a moment before plunging in again, this time going in even deeper. Cheryl let out a low cry but before it was even out of her mouth had it cut off as Lily tugged at her long brown hair and leaned forward to hiss in her ear.

“If you think that’s a lot to be taking in that nasty cunt of yours just imagine what it’ll feel like in your ass then in your mouth!”

A gruesome prospect for Cheryl to consider as Lily held on to her hair, using it like reins on a horse and began to build up some speed while fucking doggy style. Oh how she was regretting the ‘chick with a dick’ comment now! Her hands were splayed in front of her and she reached forward to grab at the pillow and try to bury her face in it but that was difficult with Lily tugging back at her hair all the while. Lily was a heavy set girl and she could certainly muster up some power behind her shoves deep inside Cheryl and she subject the pretty girl to this for a full five minutes before pulling out of her pussy completely.

“Right slut get licking, get this nice and clean and wet because it’s going straight up your asshole next! Like it in the ass do you? I bet you do! Well not this time babe!”

But this time Lily had it all wrong. Cheryl had never experienced anal sex in her life. She hated the very thought of it and had always been to concerned to ever let any of her numerous boyfriend or one night stands even attempt it. And as Lily pulled her head up to present the pussy juice covered dildo to Cheryl’s mouth she tried to plead her way out of doing it.

“Please Lily, don’t make me…”

Her pleas were cut off by the big, plastic dick being pushed between her lips and a harsh order to ‘get licking, bitch!’.

Cheryl had desperately not wanted to cry in front of these two, she came from a hard upbringing and was a tough cookie with a thick skin when it came to conflict with people but this was tough on her. Her yes were wide and frightened as she nearly gagged on the dildo and slowly managed to start licking her own juices from it. This was all so new for Cheryl, normally she was confident, in control and did only what she wanted to do when she wanted to do it. Here she was almost helpless, like a doll for Lily to toy with and play with. She could see no other way out of this mess than to do as she was told and as repellent as it was she wrapped her tongue around the thick, slick plastic shaft and tasted her own strong juices. With the strong, unnatural tastes and the bulky object all battling in her mouth she had to fight her natural response of gagging on it to force herself to lick it clean and coat it in as much saliva as she could manage.

All too soon Lily had pulled the cock from Cheryl’s mouth and told her to get back down on the bed again. Cheryl had to force herself to do it, her body didn’t want to but she did it anyway and braced herself for the oncoming anal invasion.

Both Lily and Charlotte were totally getting off on this, Cheryl’s reluctance and having her tough girl image broken like this. This was Cheryl Tweedy, one of the most beautiful girls in pop, someone everyone knew and either fancied or wanted to be and here was Lily about to fuck her hard in the ass. Lily grinned and used the lube to rub around her dick again before setting forth where no man had gone before – inside Cheryl’s anus!

Teeth gritted, eyes screwed shut and trying to ignore what was happening to her Cheryl was unable to block out the feeling as her tight, virgin asshole was slowly peeled apart and assailed from behind. Lily was slower this time in her thrusts, meaning Cheryl could properly feel the sensations in her ass as the monster dildo deliberately pressed deeper and deeper inside her. It was an incomparable feeling, it felt to Cheryl like she was having just the biggest shit imaginable and constipated at the same time. This was an even tighter squeeze than when the fucking thing was in her pussy and she strained to take it all. Once Lily was pretty sure that it was as deep in as Cheryl could take she slowly drew it back and pushed in again, giving her rival an ass fucking she was never likely to forget, she even started to sing as she ploughed on.

“You’re just an ass machine,

give it a lick a day,

what will your parents say,

as I fuck your ass!”

Oh what untamed wit, but for Lily the best part of the whole thing was just about to happen.

With a few more pushes and pulls of her fake dick she finally withdrew it fully from Cheryl’s ass. Lily bit her lip in excitement and anticipation, what she was about to demand was so bad, so wrong but she couldn’t help it, she just wanted to see it. As soon as the dildo was removed from Cheryl’s ass Lily got off her knees behind Cheryl and marched round the bed to jab it at Cheryl’s face.

“Clean it again, bitch!” was her only demand.

The prospect of sucking a huge plastic cock almost straight from her ass was horrible for Cheryl but she knew deep down she would do it. She was being totally dominated by her rival, physically dominated, mentally dominated and sexually dominated and Cheryl was not able to resist. Lily had already hinted that she would have to do this but the actual prospect of having her mouth inches from that monster that had so recently been burrowing inside her as grotesque. Yet when Lily demanded that she open her mouth and accept it, Cheryl did so, her lips trembling and neck stiff. She tried to ignore the foul taste as Lily began to slide the dildo in and out of her mouth, fucking her face with it, but that proved to be impossible. She wanted to gag and wrench her head clear of it but that was impossible too as Lily now stood over her and clamped her hands on the back of Cheryl’s head, keeping it in the position she wanted. There was nothing for it but for Cheryl to give the worst and offensive blow job she had ever given and by the end, with her own saliva spilling from her mouth and from her chin she looked and sounded like a raving lunatic as the plastic fucked her mouth.

When Lily was satisfied she had humiliated Cheryl enough (in truth she did not even check to see if the dildo head was clean or not) she pulled it from her mouth and couldn’t help but smile at the state of Cheryl’s usually flawless face, her make up had run wildly, her hair was a tangled mess, her nose was running and her mouth and chin a mess of saliva. Her job was done.

“Right get out of the room bitch and if I ever get called a ‘chick with a dick’ again I will order you around here and give you the exact same treatment, and you’ll take it because you are my little bitch now and you do what I say!”

Cheryl nodded frantically, latching onto her opportunity to escape but unfortunately for her the nickname stuck with Lily and she was as good as her word…..

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