This fictional story contains graphic sexual situations,
if you are underage or easily offended. Stop reading
Starring Amanda Bynes
By Wonder Mike
Welcome to Ask Ashley That’s me, This is a public service where I
will help people with their problems.
I first of all want to thank all you wonderful people for taking the
time to write and e mail me, without you this program would not be
possible, I would like to thank each of you personally, I really mean
The first question comes from Terri
Cain from Truth or Consequence
new Mexico, Terri asks
"Dear Ashley" "That’s me." "My vegetable crisper is broken, it has
frozen my cucumbers and I don’t know how to defrost them.
"Well, Terri you don’t now how to defrost your cucumbers, I can help
What the fuck is wrong with you do I have to tell you everything,
you can’t figure out how to defrost your cucumbers? Let me guess your
a first grade drop out. I hope you have figured out that you have to
put your pants on one leg at a time, but I doubt it How can you
defrost a cucumber, Well let me think.
I have a frozen cucumber here, lets see how I can warm it up. I can
slip out of my jeans, now I can remove my wonder woman panties, girls
if Ashley can’t be your role model "That’s Me" then it should be
I am rubbing my little slit now, you see as I rub it faster and
faster I build up friction and it gets really warm. You will have to
excuse me it is getting hard for me to talk.
My 12 year old pussy is all nice and wet now, I am slipping the
cucumber inside of it now. I am sliding the cucumber in and out of me
pussy now, this makes my pussy even warmer. The faster I, I, move it
the warmer it gets.
You will see when Ashley That’s me, grabs the cucumber with both
hands I can ram it in even faster, it also feels even better.
I am now putting my right leg behind my neck, I bet you didn’t know
how flexible Ashley is. When I lay like this I can shove the cucumber
in even deeper, watch. I bet you didn’t think I could get it all the
You know what makes Ashley feel even better, it is when you defrost
2 cucumbers at the same time, watch and be amazed.
Somebody get me another cucumber quickly, thanks. I am rubbing my
pussy with one hand while I work the first cumber in and out. My
little slit is wet enough to fit them both in now, watch as Ashley
That’s me, works both vegetables into her cunt, that’s right.
As you will be able to see after I pull the cucumbers out, they are
dripping wet with my juices and the melted ice, they are almost
To finish the cucumbers and myself, I have to work them hard and fast
now, I have a cucumber in each hand now, I am working them alternately
in and out, God that feels good.
If you have more cucumbers to defrost, you can even do another one at
the same time. Will somebody get me a freaking cucumber stat.
O k as you can see, I am inserting a finger into Mr. Brownie, also
known as my ass. I will work my middle finger in and out, while I use
my other hand to shove the two cucumbers in and out of my cunt.
I am now adding a second finger to my ass. I am now able to get them
both in all the way to the knuckle, do you like the way I move them in
and out I bet you do. that’s why you write to Ask Ashley, That’s me.
I am now slipping the third veggie into my ass, it is a tight fit,
but if I do it real slow, I can get the whole thing in, I bet I can.
I have it half way now, and remember, if you try this at home, you
should use your right hand to move the two cucumbers in your cunt, and
use your left one to work in the one in your ass.
Since my ass is a lot tighter than my young pussy, it will take only
half as long to defrost in their, see.
The cucumbers are now completely defrosted, and so am I. Now Terri,
you stupid cunt, don’t ask anymore idiotic questions.
Now lets get to the next letter from my wonderful fans, this comes
from Pamela Rider from, Calgary, Alberta Canada, I really love Canada,
it is my favorite country, next of course to the country that all my
fans come from of course. I have cake and ice cream for everybody
after the show
Pamela writes, Dear Ashley, "That’s me" I think my boyfriend is
losing interest in me, he has been pressuring me to have sex but I
want to save myself for marriage.
Well, Pam, what to do if your boyfriend is losing interest in you,
Are you a fucking moron? How can you write something so fucking
stupid? You must be the stupidest person on the face of they earth, I
think you should kill yourself, you are a waste of skin.
All right, All right, if you don’t want to kill yourself and you
want to be the last virgin on earth, I have an idea. I need a
volunteer from the audience. Thank you very much, it is very nice that
you have volunteered to help out Pamela on Ask Ashley, "That’s me."
O k, what is your name, John, that’s nice, now John, Unzip your
pants. Hurry up it’s not brain surgery, are you the second stupidest
person on the face of the earth or what. O k that’s good.
O k now watch carefully Pam, this is how you keep a man and remain a
I am reaching into John’s pants, I am now pulling out his cock,
look it is already fully erect, what a pervert. I am ashamed of you.
I am now running my hand up and down the shaft, of his cock, it is
about eight inches long. I am now going to put it in my mouth.
Do you boys and girls think I can get the whole thing in my mouth, I
bet I can, watch as Ashley, "That’s me" deep throats John.
I have the tip of his cock in my mouth now, I am slowly going down
on it, I know you boys and girls wont’ be able to see this, but I am
going to use my tongue to lick his cock while my lips are wrapped
around his cock.
Did you see me swallow his whole cock, I told you I could do it. I
am now going to swallow the whole thing, and then I am going to stick
my tongue out and lick his balls so you all can see.
I guess you all are wondering where I learned this, what are you
all, freaking morons, I am the star of the Nick show All That, of
course I am an expert cocksucker, you can’t get a role on television
if you aren’t Jesus, I am surrounded by idiots.
John I am going to swallow your cock and lick your balls again, I
want you to pull my ponytail and fuck my face, you can do that can’t
Pamela, I want you to watch this closely, there will be a test
later, you should tie your hair into a ponytail and dress like a
school girl, men love school girls, I should know because I am one, I
wore my catholic school outfit when I got this role.
O k John now fuck my face as hard as you can. Mmmmm, ok I need to
catch my breathe for a second, now again.
O k boys and girls, get a camera in for a close-up on my face
stat. When I say stat I mean now, I am surrounded by idiots.
Now, look into my mouth children, all that white stuff is John’s
sperm, he came into my mouth without warning me, that’s o k, that’s
what men do, that’s why they are pigs.
My, My look at John, his cock is still hard. He is a degenerate,
Pam, there is a way that you can finish him off even if your jaw gets
I am going to get on all fours, I know I have the body of a 12 year
old, but that’s what I am.
O k John, you see my ass don’t you? Ok I want you to stick that cock
into it, you can do that, right?
That’s good, Ashley "That’s me" needs her ass fucked. Put it in now
You see Pam, he has his cock in my ass, and if I hadn’t already
fucked the whole cast of All That I would still be a virgin, oops, I
don’t think I was supposed to say that.
Idiot John has only put half his cock in my ass, I guess he is
scared of hurting my skinny body, watch this.
I have slammed my ass back onto John now, his entire 8 inches is
inside my ass now.
I am rocking back and forth, John has grabbed my pony tail. He his
starting to rock and roll now.
I am matching his thrust, John is grunting like a girl now, I can
make him scream, I am going to tighten my ass.
Listen to him, now I am going to rock back as hard as I can. This
feels almost as good as the cucumbers, but you don;t have to cuddle
with cucumbers after it’s over.
John is fucking me harder now, that’s the way I like it, Oh boy, he
stopped now, I can feel his spunk in my ass. I will squat and let it
Well,wonder Mike Pam, I hope you know what to do now, if you follow
my advise you can have any man you want, don’t settle for losers.
That’s all the time we have for today, thanks for watching Ask
Ashley "That’s me" and come back next time, remember there is cake and
ice cream for all my fans.