Not to be read by anyone under 18, unless you’re a hot chick. In which case my address is:
6669 NE 42nd St.
The following is completely
fictional. Any resemblance to reality is entirely coincidental. Contents
of this story are merely creative license, not unlike a TV show or movie
that uses real people in fictional settings and situations. However,
if you do have video or pictures of events similar to the ones described
below, feel free to forward them to me for closer examination. Feedback,
comments, praise, criticism, death threats, nude photos, etc. can be
sent to voodoojoe2000 at yahoo
dot com (come on, you can assemble that
into an actual e-mail address).
For personal use only. Feel
free to distribute to friends, enemies, lovers, hopeful lovers, whatever,
just keep my name and e-mail address on the story or I shall hunt you
down and make you write the whole damn thing out by hand.
Celebs in this story are Rachel
Bilson, Kate Beckinsale, and Scarlett Johansson. The codes are (MF,
cons, oral, F-mast, and anal).
Author’s note: I co-opted the name and career choice of Kate Beckinsale’s real life husband, but everything
else is from scratch. I don’t care how old he really is or what movies
he’s made, because quite frankly having Underworld as your big achievement
doesn’t qualify you to have me care. I also apologize in advance to
anyone that doesn’t want to see Adam Brody having sex with Rachel, but
turning him gay or impotent is too cliché so I might as well let him
Back Seat Confidential #1 – Chase The Ace
On the first day of seventh
grade, Warren Montag wanted to be anywhere else but school. It wasn’t
that he disliked school, he in fact rather enjoyed it, he just didn’t
want to be at this school. He’d been ripped away from his friends at
his old school and plopped down into a new one without anyone even bothering
to ask him how he felt about it.
Currently he was sitting
alone in the cafeteria eating his lunch because everyone else already
had their little clique and didn’t feel like letting the new kid hang
around with them. He knew the drill from having seen it over and over
at his old school, but that didn’t make it any easier to be the one
on the outside looking in.
"Mind if I sit here?"
Snapping out his reverie Warren looked up to see a cute girl with dark
hair and a light dusting of freckles across her nose and upper cheeks
standing next to a chair across the table from him.
"Of course," Warren
said, sitting up in his chair and motioning for her to take a seat.
"Thanks. I’m Rachel
by the way," Rachel said, sitting down across from him.
"You’re new, aren’t
you?" Rachel asked him, putting ketchup on her hamburger.
"Pretty obvious, isn’t
it?" Warren replied.
"Where are you from?"
Rachel asked as she lifted the burger to her mouth.
"From here, just changed
schools," Warren responded. "My dad got a big new job so my
parents sent me here instead of letting me stay in public school. Said
wanted the best for me and all that."
"You don’t sound too
happy about that," Rachel observed.
"I’d rather be hanging
out with my friends than at a new school where I don’t know anyone,"
Warren said, shrugging his shoulders.
"That’s not true, you
know me," Rachel pointed out.
"You know what I mean,"
Warren said, reaching for the container of pudding on his tray. "Damn,
I grabbed the wrong kind."
"I accidentally grabbed
tapioca pudding instead of vanilla," Warren explained. "I
hate tapioca pudding. It looks like fish eyes staring at you while you’re
trying to eat it. It makes my skin crawl just thinking about it."
"I got chocolate if
you want to trade," Rachel offered, picking up her pudding and
holding it out for him.
"You are now officially
my new best friend," Warren said, grabbing the chocolate pudding
from her hand and replacing it with his tapioca before she could change
"I forgot a spoon,"
Rachel said as she opened her pudding.
"I grabbed two,"
Warren said, handing one of them to her. "I usually like to have
separate spoons for my fruit and pudding, but I can make an exception
"You’re my hero,"
Rachel said, taking the spoon.
+ * + * +
"If you’re hungry, I ordered
a pizza," Rachel Bilson told Warren as she came through the door
without bothering to knock.
"Then shouldn’t you be
at your house waiting for it?" Warren asked her.
"That would defeat the
purpose of telling them to deliver it here, wouldn’t it?" Rachel
remarked. Even if she hadn’t given the pizza guy Warren’s address, it
wouldn’t have been hard to look out the window and watch for him seeing
as how they lived right next to each other.
After graduating from high
school Rachel’s parents had let her move into a two-unit condo her family
owned and rented out. She’d agreed, but only if Warren was allowed to
take the other one since no one was renting either one. Since Rachel’s
parents had always liked him and approved of the friendship, it had
been a quick discussion before they agreed.
"You’d think I would know
better than to fall for that after all these years," Warren said,
rolling his eyes.
"Come on, you’re the one
that’s been following me around like a lost puppy dog ever since I took
pity on you and sat next to you at lunch way back when," Rachel
"You know you like having
me around," Warren said. "If you didn’t, you would’ve told
me to go find someone else to worship a long time ago."
"I do like being put on
a pedestal," Rachel agreed.
"No Adam tonight?"
Warren asked, referring to Rachel’s boyfriend Adam Brody, as Rachel
settled onto the couch next to him and grabbed the remote from his hand.
"Nope, just hanging out
with you. Hope you don’t mind," Rachel responded.
"I don’t mind, but it’s
been a couple days and you tend to get a little bitchy when you’re not
getting laid," Warren pointed out.
"You’re lucky I haven’t
found a replacement for you or I’d hit you for that," Rachel said,
searching for a chick flick on tv to watch before finding one.
"If you think this is
punishment, you don’t know me very well," Warren said. "The
movie may not do much for me, but I’m really not going to complain about
having to watch Amber Tamblyn and Alexis Bledel."
"You want to play it that
way, then fine," Rachel said, changing channels to watch Underworld.
"Oh geez, you had to do
that, didn’t you?" Warren groaned. It wasn’t the quality of the
movie that caused the reaction, it was the fact that Warren had personal
reasons for not wanting to see Kate Beckinsale strutting around in skintight
+ * + * +
Sitting in front of his laptop
in a Mexican hotel room where he was filming a movie about missionaries,
Leonard Wiseman watched his very naked wife, Kate Beckinsale, on the
screen. Smiling at him through the camera she was using she cupped one
hand under her right breast and pinched the nipple between thumb and
"Want me to go lower,
or should I stay up here for a while?" Kate asked Len.
"Get on your knees on
the chair and show me your ass while you touch yourself," Len replied.
Doing as he requested, Kate
turned around and put her knees on the chair. Leaning against the backrest,
she stuck her ass out and gave it a little shake for his viewing pleasure.
She slid a hand down her stomach
and let her fingers point out from between her legs for a moment before
bringing them back to her pussy. Dragging a finger across her opening,
she got it nice and wet before bringing it back to her clit.
As he watched Kate put on a
show for him he had to congratulate himself for having the idea in the
first place. He’d half expected her to be resistant to the idea, but
she’d actually thought it was a great idea for them to be able to satisfy
their needs with each other to a certain degree when they couldn’t be
with each other in person.
"Fuck," Kate moaned
quietly as her climax neared.
Looking back over her shoulder
she saw the image of her husband staring intently at her and it sent
her over the edge. Biting her lower lip to keep from screaming and waking
up her daughter, who was sleeping, Kate felt her body go rigid with
pleasure before melting and almost falling out of the chair.
"Same time tomorrow?"
Kate asked him when she’d turned around to face the camera. Her orgasm
had left her sleepy and she just wanted to crawl into bed.
"I have to shoot scenes
tomorrow night, so I can’t," Len said. "I’ll call you though,
so don’t get too chatty with the girls."
"I won’t," Kate promised.
"Love you too," Len
said before closing his laptop.
Being too wired to sleep at
the moment Len stayed up for a bit plotting out how he wanted to shoot
the scenes the next day rather than going right to bed like his wife.
Even a decade after his big breakthrough he still got excited about
getting to live out his dream of being a movie director.
He’d grown up in Brooklyn and
had dreamed of making movies ever since he was a kid. When it came time
to pick a college, it had been an easy choice for him to head west for
film school at USC, where he’d met his first wife, Janet Snow.
After graduating he struggled,
working various jobs behind the camera here and there, for a decade.
It wasn’t until Sam Raimi picked him to be the second-unit director
on Darkman that he got his big break.
Toward the end of filming Dark
Man Len had shown Sam a script he’d written called Black Widow. It was
an homage to the hard-boiled PI noir movies like The Maltese Falcon.
Sam had loved the script so much that he’d signed on a producer. None
of the studios had wanted anything to do with the movie though, so the
two of them sought investors and made the movie independently.
Black Widow was completed in
early ’92 and by the middle of the year it was making the film festival
rounds. After rave reviews everywhere it went Mirimax picked it up for
release. From there it snowballed and by the time the dust settled the
movie had turned Len into an overnight sensation, or least Hollywood’s
idea of an overnight sensation.
Since then he’d made a string
of blockbusters and become one of the most powerful men in show business.
He was a bigger success than he ever imagined, and never would’ve dreamed
he’d have a woman like Kate, but it only made him strive to be even
+ * + * +
"We’re getting a neighbor,"
Rachel announced as she stood on her knees on the couch and peered out
Warren’s window. She was wearing a white tank top and flower print sarong
that reached just below her knees.
"Good for them,"
Warren said, drying his hair with a towel. He’d barely gotten dressed
after taking a shower when Rachel had burst in and now she was wanting
him to watch whoever was moving in next door.
"Aren’t you even curious?"
Rachel asked, taking a moment from her spying to turn her head toward
"No real point,"
Warren said. "If it’s a good looking woman then you’ll tell me.
If it’s not, then you’ve got it well under control."
"I’m going to the roof,"
Rachel said, giving up her perch on the couch. "I can watch from
there and catch some rays while I’m at it. You coming?"
"I’ll be up in a few minutes,"
"It’s my day off so you
better hurry before I drink all the beer," Rachel said, climbing
the stairs to the second level of the condo.
Moving toward the back of the
house she found the steps leading to the roof and pushed open the door
leading to the deck that sat on the roof. After they’d moved in Warren
had seen that it had a flat roof with access from both apartments and
taken it upon himself to build a deck. In the five years since then
he had expanded it to include a covered area in case it rained and even
put in a refrigerator and bar for entertaining.
Looking over the railing to
watch the goings-on next door Rachel pulled off her tank top to reveal
a red bikini top. Kicking off her sandals she untied the knot in her
sarong and pulled it off. Without taking her eyes off the action she
grabbed a lounge chair and dragged it closer to the railing.
"Anything new happening
over there?" Warren asked when he emerged from the doorway with
a twelve pack of beer in his hand.
"I think it’s a blonde
girl moving in, but I could be wrong," Rachel said. "She seems
to be directing traffic, but she looks like she’s still in high school
so I have no idea."
"You don’t recognize her?"
Warren asked Rachel as he peered over the railing at the blonde in question.
"Should I?" Rachel
asked, leaning forward in her chair to scrutinize the blonde closer.
"Depends on whether you
want me to make fun of you or not," Warren answered, pulling a
beer out and handing it to her. He took one out for himself and stuffed
the rest into the fridge to keep them cold.
"She must like animals,"
Rachel said as Warren pulled a chair up the railing next to hers. "There
must be half a dozen dogs there."
"That wouldn’t be a surprise
if you knew who she was," Warren said, rubbing it in that she didn’t
recognize the new neighbor.
"Be quiet," Rachel
said, giving him a jab with her elbow.
"Just saying you should
know her," Warren said.
"You say I need to get
laid, but you really need it," Rachel said. "I can set you
up with Mischa if you want."
"Um, yeah, I don’t think
so," Warren said.
"Come on, you’d like her
if you gave her a chance," Rachel said.
"She didn’t give me a
chance, so I don’t see why I should give her one," Warren countered.
"She’s apologized a hundred
times for that," Rachel pointed out.
"You know what they say
about first impressions," Warren said. "If you want to hook
me up, get me in with Alexis Bledel."
"I don’t really know her
all that well. I’ve met her a couple times, but I don’t know her well
enough to ask her to date my loser friend," Rachel said, giving
Warren a little friendly ribbing.
"At least your loser friend
can recognize people," Warren said, giving it right back.
"Thought I might find
you guys up here," Adam Brody said from the doorway on Rachel’s
side of the deck.
"Hey babe," Rachel
said, waving at him. "We’re just watching someone move in next
"You must be pretty bored
if you’re that interested," Adam said, looking over the railing.
"She’s interested, I’m
just waiting to see how long it takes her to recognize the blonde,"
Warren said, shrugging his shoulders.
"Isn’t that Kristen Bell?"
Adam said, squinting.
"That’s who it is,"
Rachel said, finally placing the face.
"Well there goes my fun,"
"You ready?" Adam
"Not unless you want me
to go like this," Rachel sarcastically remarked.
"Hey, I’m not going to
complain about you wearing a bikini," Adam said, grinning at her.
"Give me a few minutes
to change and then we can go," Rachel said.
"We’re just going to see
Brokeback Mountain if you want to tag along," Adam offered after
Rachel had left to change.
"It’s nice of you to offer,
but I think I’ll pass," Warren said. "I have to work in the
morning and besides, why would I want to go anywhere when I can watch
something as exciting as people moving?"
"Okay, just didn’t want
you to think we were leaving you out," Adam said.
"Yeah, yeah, you’re a
nice guy," Warren replied. "Now go take your girlfriend to
the movies because she bought Uncovered on DVD and if she doesn’t get
lucky soon I’m gonna have to watch it with her."
"I never got your aversion
to Kate Beckinsale, but whatever," Adam said, chuckling at Warren’s
"Put yourself in my shoes
and then tell me you don’t understand," Warren said.
"Yeah, I’d still find
her hot, but I guess I can see your point," Adam conceded.
+ * + * +
"I never thought I’d like
a movie about gay cowboys," Adam said as they emerged from the
"If you liked it, then
I guess that means I don’t have to go see Superman in June," Rachel
"Our deal wasn’t contingent
on me liking anything," Adam said. "We agreed that I got to
pick the next movie whether I liked this one or not."
"We both know you won’t
pick the next one," Rachel said. "I’ve been promising to let
you pick the next one for months, but all I have to do is give you the
puppy dog eyes and we see whatever I want to see."
"Is it my fault my mom
trained me to treat my women right?" Adam rhetorically asked.
"Speaking of which, I
need to send her a thank you card for that," Rachel said, hooking
her arm in his.
"I’ve told you before,
she doesn’t want a card telling her that her son is a considerate lover,"
Adam said. "You’re supposed to send those to my dad."
"Sorry, I’ll make sure
to get right on that," Rachel said, leaning her head on his shoulder.
"Good, now I believe someone
said something about you needing to get lucky," Adam said.
"I’m gonna kick his ass,"
Rachel said, knowing exactly who said it.
"My place it is then,"
Adam said. "Because if we go to yours you’ll get too busy beating
up on Warren to have sex with me."
"No, I’d just wait until
we were done and then ambush him in his sleep," Rachel said.
"Okay, then I’m taking
you to my place for his safety," Adam said, opening Rachel’s car
+ * + * +
"I’ve been thinking, we
should set Warren up with someone," Rachel said as she poked her
head out from the bathroom while she brushed her teeth. She was wearing
a knee length nightgown with a big picture of Gene Simmons in full makeup
on the front. She’d been a fan of Kiss, especially Gene, ever since
she found out she shared a birthday with him.
"I hope you weren’t thinking
of Mischa, because he doesn’t like her," Adam said, lying in bed.
"Yeah, he’s made that
abundantly clear," Rachel said as she rinsed her mouth out. "What
about Alexis? I know he thinks she’s cute, and you just happen to know
"I would, but I was kind
of hoping to save her as a back up just in case you dump me," Adam
"I got news for you pal,
she’s out of your league," Rachel said, sauntering over to the
"So are you, but that
didn’t stop you from falling for my suave personality," Adam said
as Rachel threw a leg over him and straddled his waist.
"Yeah, but what are the
chances you’ll get that lucky twice?" Rachel asked, pinning him
to the bed.
"Okay, you win. I’ll see
if I can set something up, but you owe me," Adam said, pulling
his arms free and moving them to Rachel’s thighs.
"Let’s see if we can clear
the slate then," Rachel said, leaning down to kiss him.
"I like the sound of that,"
Adam said, caressing her thighs.
Sitting up on top of him, Rachel
grabbed the hem of her nightgown and pulled it off. After tossing it
aside she slipped off of him so she could take off the sleep pants he
was wearing. Throwing her leg back over him Rachel reached between them
and grabbed his cock. Positioning it against her hole she pushed back
against it and sighed as she felt herself being filled.
Sensing that Rachel just wanted
to get off Adam grabbed her hips. Pulling her down onto his cock he
lifted his hips to meet her halfway. When she put her hands on his shoulders
he moved his hands to her ass and gripped her cheeks firmly as she started
to rock on top of him.
"Uhh," Rachel grunted
as she drove her pussy back onto his cock.
Removing one hand from her
ass Adam moved it up Rachel’s body to cup one of her breasts. Lifting
his head off the pillow he parted his lips and took the nipple into
his mouth. His tongue swirled around the hardening nub as he felt small
tremors course through her body, signaling her need.
"Fuck me," Rachel
quietly moaned, her eyes closed as she enjoyed the feelings she was
Letting the nipple slip from
his mouth Adam put his hand on her side and rolled her over onto her
back. Without missing a beat he planted his hands on the bed and began
to fuck her like she wanted.
"Uhh," Rachel moaned,
hooking her legs around his waist. Every stroke Adam made into her caused
her breasts to bounce. Reaching up she put her hands on his shoulders
and pulled down for a kiss.
It wasn’t long before Rachel
felt her climax approaching. Normally she liked going longer, but tonight
just getting off was more important than lasting all night. Of course,
being a woman, she could get away with that kind of thinking, but she
wasn’t going to leave Adam high and dry if he didn’t make it.
"I’m coming," Rachel
said, burrowing her face into Adam’s neck as she felt the pleasure of
her climax wash over her.
While she writhed on the bed
in ecstasy Adam kept thrusting into her. He was getting close as well
and just needed an extra little bit to push him over the top. Finally
reaching the boiling point he buried himself in her one last time before
erupting and coating the inside of her pussy with his come.
"We even?" Rachel
asked Adam as she snuggled up to him.
"No, we both know I still
owe you a few hundred favors," Adam said, pulling the covers over
"Well we can count that
as one of your favors," Rachel said as she closed her eyes.
+ * + * +
Racing the clock Len Wiseman
tried to get one final nighttime scene filmed before the sun rose. He
figured he had one more take left before the sky would start getting
too light to work.
"Take it from the top
and then we can all go get some sleep," Len said. "And action."
He watched as the actors went
through their paces. Every detail was scrutinized, nothing missing his
attention. It all looked fine to him, but something that he couldn’t
place wasn’t quite right. Deciding there wasn’t anything he could do
about it tonight, he let the actors work through the scene and then
check tomorrow to see if he could figure out what was off about it.
"That’s a wrap for the
night," Len hollered. Turning to his second-unit director, Earnest
Wilfork, he motioned for him to follow. "Why don’t you handle the
scene in the mission tomorrow. Make sure to remember this when you get
a multi-picture deal with some studio and I need work."
"You won’t need work any
time soon, sir," Earnest said, smiling.
"Maybe not, but one day
I’ll ask for a favor so remember this when that day comes," Len
said, waving Earnest off. With some of the work delegated, that meant
he could get more than a couple hours of sleep before he had to be up
running through dailies seeing what needed work.
"Going to bed?" Scarlett
Johansson asked Len as he put his stuff away for the night.
"I was thinking about
it," Len said, tossing a bag over each shoulder.
"Want company?" Scarlett
asked. She’d been flirting with him throughout the filming process,
with limited success thus far. She wasn’t looking for anything other
than some fun, but hadn’t been able to talk him into even that much.
"Tempting, but I think
I’ll pass," Len said, his mind jumping to his wife. He was flattered
by her attention, but he’d already screwed up enough marriages by sleeping
with his leading ladies without adding another one to the tally.
"You know where to find
me if you change your mind," Scarlett said, winking seductively
before turning to catch a cab back to her hotel.
Shaking his head at her persistence
he headed for the parking lot. Opening the trunk of his rental car he
set his bags inside. Moving around to the driver’s side door he opened
it and slipped behind the wheel.
+ * + * +
After delivering his sparse
lines of dialogue over and over until the director thought the scene
was good enough to move on, Warren called it a day. The life of an aspiring
actor was rather boring, especially when they had trust funds to live
off instead of working as waiters between bit parts. Mostly his days
were spent working with his hands, like building a deck on the roof,
just to keep from going insane.
On his way out he caught sight
of a cute blonde smoking a cigarette outside a sound stage. Deciding
to delay the trip home a few minutes, he worked his way over. Just before
he got there he settled on a strategy for breaking the ice.
"Can I get one of those?"
Warren asked, pointing at the pack of cigarettes on the bench next to
"Sure," the blonde
Grabbing the pack she opened
it and pulled one out. She lifted her head to look at him as she handed
it to him and Warren suddenly realized exactly where he was. He’d just
bummed a smoke from Kirsten Dunst in front of the soundstage where they
were shooting Spider-Man 3. Shrugging his shoulders he decided to at
least play his plan out before giving it up as a lost cause.
said, putting the cigarette between his lips. Taking her lighter from
her hand he lit the cigarette and successfully managed to keep from
coughing as the bitter smoke filled his lungs.
"You don’t smoke, do you?"
Kirsten asked him as she watched him clumsily try.
"No, I just borrow cigarettes
from good looking women," Warren admitted. "It breaks the
ice a little and gives me a reason to talk to them before I ask for
"Does it work?" Kirsten
"I don’t know, you tell
me," Warren said. "This is the first time I’ve tried it. Is
"A little," Kirsten
said, giving him points for honesty as well as some originality in his
"Then I guess I’m on the
right track," Warren said, holding the cigarette at his side now
that he didn’t have to pretend.
"I’m Kirsten," she
said, holding out her hand.
"I know," Warren
"So that’s why you came
over," Kirsten teased.
"Actually, I didn’t figure
it out until you lifted your head to give me the cigarette," Warren
explained. "I’m Warren by the way."
"I should tell you that
I have a boyfriend," Kirsten said.
"That’s fine, I wasn’t
looking for anything but some hot sex anyway," Warren said.
"I tell you what, smoke
the rest of that cigarette in one drag and we’ll talk," Kirsten
"Okay, but if I excuse
myself right after it’s because I’m looking for a place to throw up,"
"As long as you get it
all in there," Kirsten said.
"Here goes," Warren
said, lifting the cigarette to his mouth.
Sucking on the end as hard
as he could his eyes began to water as he crammed far too much smoke
into his lungs. Finally reaching the point where he couldn’t go any
further he blew the smoke out in a whoosh and felt his stomach start
"Not quite," Kirsten
said, taking the cigarette from his hand.
"So not worth it,"
Warren said, trying not to puke on the spot.
"You got close though,"
Kirsten pointed out.
"Does that mean I get
your number?" Warren queasily asked.
"I tell you what, why
don’t you go find a garbage can to be sick in and then come back tomorrow,"
"I’ll be here," Warren
said before turning and walking unsteadily away in search of some place
to toss his cookies in private.
+ * + * +
"Were you smoking?"
Rachel asked Warren when she got home from Adam’s. She had just enough
time to change and have something to eat before going to the set.
"A little, but it was
for a good cause," Warren said.
"Which means you were
picking up women," Rachel said, understanding what he meant. "I
hope you at least got her number because your eyes are still red from
"No, but I get to try
again tomorrow," Warren said.
"Reach down inside you
and find the genes your mom gave you," Rachel said, shaking her
head in amazement at what guys would do for women. "Cheap sex is
great but it’s not worth making yourself sick."
"Says the woman in the
room," Warren said. "All you have to do is walk into a room
and know that you can get laid with the snap of your fingers. We men
have to work a little harder at it."
"Then by all means, continue,"
Rachel sighed. "Just remember to draw line when she pulls out the
"Geez, you wind up tied
to the bed while a razor blade wielding freak rides you once and you
never live it down," Warren groused.
"Yeah, you never should
have told me about that," Rachel said, laughing. "Anyway,
got anything to eat? I don’t have anything I can just grab and go."
"There should be some
cereal bars or something in the cupboard, knock yourself out,"
said, pulling out a strawberry cereal bar. "Now go take a shower,
you smell like an ashtray."
"Way to be supportive
Rachel," Warren hollered as he headed for the shower.
"If you want supportive,
go to AA," Rachel yelled back before closing the door behind her.
+ * + * +
Putting his iPod in the pocket
on his shirt Warren went outside to mow the lawn. As he was dragging
the mower out of the shed out back he glanced over and saw the new neighbor
sitting on her porch watching her dogs play in the back yard.
"Welcome to the neighborhood,"
Warren shouted to her.
said, walking over to the chain link fence that separated the yards.
said, holding out his hand. "We saw you move in yesterday."
"We? The other one isn’t
imaginary, is it?" Kristen asked, looking around.
"No, I keep my imaginary
friends safely locked away in the basement so they don’t hurt anyone,"
Warren joked. "My friend Rachel and I watched you move in. I was
having fun waiting for her to recognize Veronica Mars, but then her
boyfriend had to go and ruin that by telling her who you are."
"At least you didn’t call
me ‘that hooker from Deadwood’ like some people," Kristen said,
grinning at her joke.
"I would have, but Veronica
Mars is the better show so I went with that instead," Warren explained.
"I appreciate it,"
"Well, I should mow the
lawn," Warren said, excusing himself from the conversation.
"Come over for coffee
some time and we can talk some more," Kristen offered. "You
can even bring your friends, real or imaginary, with you."
"Okay, but I think I’ll
stick to just bringing Rachel and maybe her boyfriend Adam. The imaginary
ones aren’t fit for formal gatherings, they’re a bit on the odd side,"
"Bring them along anyway,"
Kristen said. "I’ll introduce them to mine and the whole lot of
them can have their own little party."
"Okay, but don’t complain
to me when they sneak over there to party in the middle of the night,"
+ * + * +
"Blue or black?"
Kate Beckinsale asked Len through the webcam, holding up a blue gel
filled dildo in one hand and a black hard plastic one in the other.
"Black," Len answered,
leaning back on the bed with the computer on his lap to watch the show.
"Naughty boy," Kate
said, dropping the blue dildo to the floor.
Using the remote for the webcam
she zoomed in on her face. Bringing the dildo to her mouth she swirled
her tongue around the tip before dragging it down the shaft. When she
reached the base she reversed course and licked her way back up in a
"Gotta get it nice and
wet to fit it into such a tight little hole," Kate said in her
sluttiest tone of voice.
Opening her mouth Kate closed
her lips around the head. Tilting her head slightly downward, she cast
her eyes up at the screen just like she would if she was giving head
to a real cock instead of a chunk of plastic.
"Suck that cock,"
Len instructed. He loved watching Kate give head, but he had to admit
that it just wasn’t the same watching her suck a toy instead him.
Still looking coyly at the
camera Kate pushed more of the fake cock into her mouth. When she reached
the halfway point she slowly pulled it back out. Letting it slip completely
from between her lips she licked it with her tongue like it was a lollipop.
"Want more, or should
I fuck my wet little pussy for you?" Kate asked, nuzzling the saliva
coated cock against her cheek.
"How wet is it?"
Len asked. In a moment his question was answered when Kate repositioned
the camera to give him a close-up of her glistening cunt. "Better
take care of it then."
"Mmm, I hoped you’d say
that," Kate said, scooting her ass to the edge of the chair.
Propping her feet up on the
edge of the chair next to her ass she dragged the head of the dildo
along her slit a couple times. Using her free hand to part her labia
she pushed the toy against her pussy until the head popped in.
"Feels so good,"
Kate moaned, pushing more of the fake cock into her dripping snatch.
When she felt the base of the
dildo press against her pussy Kate pause. She moved one foot to the
floor to give Len a better angle before slowly withdrawing the toy.
"So good," Kate said,
sliding the cock in and out of her pussy.
Every thrust caused a little
more of her cream to be pushed out around the invading dildo. As she
picked up speed the dribble turned into a stream, dripping down her
between her butt cheeks and onto the chair.
"Frig your clit,"
"Uhh," Kate moaned,
manipulating the toy with one hand while her other moved to take care
of her clit like he wanted.
"Faster," Len demanded,
knowing she was getting close.
"Oh, fuck," Kate
gasped, hunching her hips slightly against the dildo as she approached
"Come for me," Len
"Gonna come," Kate
panted, trying to keep her voice down.
Biting her lip to stifle a
scream she plunged the dildo into her as far as it would go. Closing
her eyes she let the climax wash over her. Every shudder her body made
sent waves of pleasure coursing through her nerve endings.
"Hopefully by this time
next week we won’t need to use the computer," Len said when Kate
had regained some of her faculties.
"I thought you still had
two weeks to go," Kate said, trying to fight off sleep.
"That was the target,
but we’re ahead of schedule. With any luck we’ll be packing up in a
week," Len said.
"When you get back, I’m
going to do such naughty things to you," Kate promised, smiling
at the prospect of her husband’s early return.
"Go get some sleep and
give Lily a kiss for me," Len said, referring to his stepdaughter.
"I will," Kate said.
"Love you too," Len
said before the screen went dark.
Closing the laptop he found
he wasn’t tired. If anything, he was more awake now than when Kate had
started her show. Slipping off the bed he put on a pair of shoes and
decided to take a walk around the hotel to wear off some of his excess
As he wandered the halls of
the hotel his mind wandered as well. He loved the shows Kate gave him
but they only seemed to make him hornier and more frustrated than before.
He loved watching Kate and hearing her talk dirty, but that was all
he could do with the computer. He couldn’t feel her soft skin under
his fingers or take in the intoxicating scent of her perfume.
Stopping in the middle of the
hallway Len looked around. Off to his left was a room number that had
been burned into his memory repeatedly over the last month or so. Sighing,
he turned and knocked on the door. After a moment the door slowly creaked
"Better late than never
I guess," Scarlett said, standing in the doorway in a white robe
that she hadn’t tied off. Underneath the robe she wore a tank top and
a pair of black panties that were sheer enough to give a hint of the
goodies beneath but opaque enough to keep them hidden. "Want to
"No, but I will,"
Len said, giving in to his desires and moving past her as she stepped
out of his way.
"What changed your mind?"
Scarlett asked, closing and locking the door behind him. "Wait,
don’t answer that. It doesn’t really matter so why bother with pointless
"I should go," Len
said, starting to come to his senses.
"You just got here,"
Scarlett pointed out. Pushing the robe off her shoulders she let it
drop to the floor and stepped towards him, her braless tits entrancing
him almost completely. "No sense leaving until you’ve had a little
+ * + * +
As Kate was settling into bed
her hand ran over the part of the bed Len slept on. She only had to
wait another week, but even that seemed like an eternity to a woman
that hadn’t been with her husband in over a month.
While she waited for sleep
to come to her she imagined him pressing himself against her back while
his fingers traced her jaw. It all felt so wonderful that a thought
began to percolate in the back of her head. She firmly decided that
in the morning she’d pack her and Lily up and visit Len. Spend a little
time frolicking in the sun and just spend time with Len before the anticipation
drove her insane.
Opening her eyes she reached
over to the nightstand to grab her phone. Len was a bit of a control
freak that didn’t particularly like surprises so she figured she should
run the idea past him first. It was mostly a formality, considering
he’d be getting more than one of her shows if he agreed, but at least
he wouldn’t freak out if she showed up without telling him she was coming
+ * + * +
His mouth suddenly dry Len
struggled to make his mind think of anything but the spectacular pair
of breasts staring him in the face. He knew he should leave before he
did something he would deeply regret in the morning, but his legs refused
to work and his brain wasn’t working any better.
"You’re not leaving, that’s
a good sign," Scarlett said, putting a hand on his chest and pushing
him back toward the bed.
The touch of her hand shredded
the last remaining bit of willpower Len had. Grabbing her wrist he forcefully
pulled her to him. When she collided with his body he put an arm around
her and lifted her up.
"That’s what I’m talking
about," Scarlett squealed, hooking her legs around his waist.
With one hand on her back Len
grabbed the waistband of her panties with the other. Not bothering with
niceties, he yanked on the thin strap until it ripped free on one side.
Adjusting his grip to the other side of the narrow piece of fabric split
her ass cheeks he yanked again until it tore from the other side as
well. Since the panties were now hanging limply from her he pulled them
free and dropped the useless garment to the floor.
"I love an eager man,"
Scarlett said, reaching a hand between then to push the shorts he was
wearing down. "Especially one that comes to my room without underwear."
His shorts bunched up just
below his ass Len moved forward and pinned Scarlett’s back to the wall.
He put his hands under her arms and lifted her until he felt the tip
of his cock press against her opening. Feeling her wetness he immediately
drove up into her, burying himself within her in one smooth stroke.
gasped, her eyes opening wide with surprise.
If he hadn’t been so in need
he might have taken his time to explore the wonders that were Scarlett
Johansson’s body, but that was a bit of a catch-22. If he hadn’t been
so in need, he wouldn’t be balls deep in Scarlett to begin with. As
it was, he simply wanted to relieve that need.
"Fuck me," Scarlett
said, grabbing one of the straps to her tank top and pulling it down
her arm. When the breast on that side was free she switched hands and
pulled it down as well.
Putting her arms around his
neck Scarlett pressed her tits against his chest. Each thrust he made
into her caused her nipples to rub against the material of his shirt,
the friction sending shots of pleasure through her body.
"Fucking tease, that’s
what you are," Len said through gritted teeth, moving his hands
down her body to grip her ass. "Is this what you wanted?"
mewled, the intensity of the sex driving her dangerously close to orgasm
already. "Make me come."
That took Len by surprise.
He’d thought he was in desperate need of getting off, yet he wasn’t
anywhere near his climax yet. He chalked it up to her being one of those
women that can seemingly orgasm at will, but it still did wonders for
his ego to bring her off so quickly.
Watching her as they fucked,
Len judged when she was about to reach the point of no return. Just
before she got there though he suddenly lifted her up and pulled his
cock out of her completely.
"Noo," Scarlett whimpered,
left hovering on the brink of orgasm.
"Hands and knees,"
Len commanded, sliding her down the wall until she got the hint and
put her feet on the floor. When she didn’t react quickly enough for
his liking, Len grabbed the waistband of his shorts. "I can always
leave and not finish you off."
"Fuck me," Scarlett
pleaded, immediately crossing to the bed. Climbing up onto it on her
knees, she cast him a sexy look over her shoulder before dropping down
onto all fours. "Please."
"Ever the tease, aren’t
you?" Len asked, stepping up behind her.
said, giving her rump a little shake as if to remind him why they were
"You know what teases
get, don’t you?" Len asked, dragging his cock along her slit.
"What do they get?"
Scarlett asked, looking over her shoulder while waiting for him to fuck
"They get fucked in the
ass," Len said, moving his cock to press it against her asshole.
"Uhh," Scarlett groaned,
feeling his cock pushing into her ass. She wasn’t an anal virgin, but
normally she liked a little lead up to the act. A little preparation
would’ve been greatly appreciated, but she’d tried to get his cock into
her for long enough that she wasn’t going to turn him away just because
he didn’t follow the proper protocol.
When the head of his cock popped
past her sphincter, Len paused a moment. He wanted to go full speed
ahead, but he knew better than to do that with a woman’s asshole. It
was for purely selfish reasons, like not being able to do it again if
she didn’t like it, but sex often boiled down to doing what the other
person wanted so they’d do what you want.
"Fuck my ass," Scarlett
said, giving him the go ahead to continue. As he pushed more of his
log into her ass she reached back and rubbed her clit. By the time he
was all the way inside her, her orgasm was back on track.
"Teases always like being
fucked in the ass," Len said, loving the way her asshole was clamped
around his cock.
Putting a hand on her lower
back he pushed her forward while he pulled back. He began fucking her
ass with about half his cock. After every thrust he pulled back slightly
farther until he was stroking the full length in and out of her back
"Ohh, getting close,"
Scarlett moaned, frigging her clit like a mad woman.
"Not yet," Len demanded,
reaching down and pulling her hand away from her clit.
"Shit," Len cursed
when he heard his phone ring. Normally it wouldn’t have bothered him,
but at the moment the ringtone coming out of his phone was the last
one he wanted to hear. It was associated with the one person he didn’t
want to talk to while he was fucking another woman in the ass.
"Fuck me," Scarlett
said, pushing her ass back against him with a sense of urgency.
Gritting his teeth Len decided
to let the phone ring and put it out of his mind. Both of them were
too close to coming to stop so he could talk to his wife. He figured
as long as he was already doing the deed, he might as well finish and
deal with everything later.
Letting go of Scarlett’s hand
Len gripped her hips with both hands. While her hand went back to massaging
her clit he picked up the pace. The guilt he was feeling only made him
slam into Scarlett that much harder. He was taking it out on her for
making him cheat on Kate.
"So… good," Scarlett
panted, feeling her climax right around the corner.
Len hissed, raising a hand and delivering a smack to Scarlett’s ass.
"Ow," Scarlett moaned,
loving the sharp sting originating from where his hand had made contact.
"Gonna come in your ass,"
Len said, slamming into her one last time before unloading his semen.
"Oh God," Scarlett
screeched, finally achieving her own orgasm as she felt his cock start
to pulse inside her asshole.
"Go clean up, I need to
do something," Len told Scarlett as he fell to the bed next to
"Only if you promise to
give me more later," Scarlett said. When he shrugged his shoulders
she slipped off the bed and went into the bathroom.
When she was gone, Len pulled
up his shorts and pulled his phone out of his pocket. Taking a deep
breath he opened it up and called Kate.
"Why didn’t you answer?"
Kate asked when she answered.
"Sorry, I was in the bathroom
and the phone was next to the bed," Len lied.
"Oh, well I was just calling
to tell you that I was thinking about coming down there in the next
couple days," Kate said.
"That sounds great,"
Len said, cursing under his breath.
"I thought you might say
that," Kate said. "I just know how much you hate surprises
so I thought I’d tell you before I showed up."
"I do hate surprises,
but I wouldn’t have minded you showing up," Len said.
"The bathroom’s yours
if you need it," Scarlett said, making Len curse his luck.
"Who the fuck is that?"
Kate demanded. She knew about his history and hoped he’d changed, but
obviously he hadn’t.
"It’s the tv,"
"Like hell it is,"
Kate hissed. She wanted to scream but she didn’t want to wake up Lily
so she managed to keep her volume in check.
"It’s not what you think,"
Len said, trying out every cliché in the book.
"Fuck you," Kate
said, hanging up.
+ * + * +
"Hey," Kirsten called
out from the door of the soundstage while Warren waited out front. "I
was beginning to think you wouldn’t show."
"I said I’d be here, so
I’m here," Warren said.
"I’ve got a scene to film
in a few minutes, so you might as well come in," Kirsten said.
"Unless of course you want to stay out there."
said, walking through the door as she held it open.
"Want a tour?" Kirsten
"I’ve seen the movies
so I think I know what everything is, but go ahead," Warren replied.
"I’m not going to now
that you’ve ruined it," Kirsten sighed.
"Kirsten, you’re on in
five," Sam Raimi said as he walked past.
"Sam, meet Warren,"
"You look familiar,"
Sam said as he looked at Warren. "Have I seen you somewhere before?"
"You’ve got a pretty good
memory since it’s been almost fifteen years," Warren said.
"You’re Len Wiseman’s
kid, aren’t you?" Sam asked. "Been a long time."
"I go by Montag, but yeah,"
"How is your dad? I haven’t
talked to him in months," Sam said.
"He’s fine, but I don’t
talk to him much either," Warren said. "He’s always too busy
working to make time for anyone else."
"Well tell him I said
hi next time you see him," Sam said.
"I will," Warren
promised. When he turned his attention back to Kirsten she was staring
at in disbelief.
"You’re Len Wiseman’s
son? That right there is the golden pick up line," Kirsten said.
"You could walk up to anyone short of Julia Roberts and say ‘my
dad is Len Wiseman, sleep with me and he’ll give you a part in his next
movie’ and get all the women you want."
"I used to do that, but
I quickly learned that the type of woman that falls for it just wants
to get to him through me," Warren said.
"So, what’s it like being
the son of Hollywood royalty?" Kirsten asked, changing the subject
"Not as glamorous as it
sounds. It has its benefits, but there are downsides to it," Warren
answered. "Like him cheating on my mom, or him being too busy working
to bother with his son. Then there’s the fact he ruined Kate Beckinsale
for me by making her my step-mom."
"Sounds like you’re saying
that sleeping with you isn’t going to get me a part in his next movie,"
"You might get a part,
but it probably wouldn’t have anything to do with me," Warren returned.
"Warren," Sam hollered
from a few yards away. "We’ve got an open part if you want it.
Nothing big, just a cameo really, but it’s yours if you’re interested."
"If you take it, it’ll
give me more time to decide whether I want to risk sleeping with you
for a part in your dad’s movie," Kirsten said quietly.
"I’ll take it," Warren
"I’ll sign you up,"
Sam said before going off to wherever he was going.
"Good choice," Kirsten
said, grinning at him. "Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go run
through my lines for the next scene real quick."
"I think I’ll head out,
but I guess I’ll be seeing you real soon," Warren told her.