Not to be read by anyone under 18, unless you’re a hot chick.
In which case my address is:
6669 NE 42nd St.
The following is completely fictional. Any resemblance to reality is entirely coincidental. Contents of this story are merely creative license, not unlike a TV show or movie that uses real people in fictional settings and situations. However, if you do have video or pictures of events similar to the ones described below, feel free to forward them to me for closer examination. Feedback, comments, praise, criticism, death threats, nude photos, etc. can be sent to voodoojoe2000 at
yahoo dot com (come on, you can assemble that into an actual e-mail address).
For personal use only. Feel free to distribute to friends, enemies, lovers, hopeful lovers, whatever, just keep my name and e-mail address on the story or I shall hunt you down and make you write the whole damn thing out by hand.
Celebs in this story are Rachel Bilson, Kirsten Dunst, and Kate Beckinsale. The codes are (MF, FF, cons, oral, toys, and anal).
Back Seat Confidential #3 – Shake Your Foundations
Janet Montag-Stevens sipped her coffee on the porch of her house overlooking the Pacific Ocean. She loved how peaceful everything was in the morning before the bulk of the population woke up. Her favorite time of day was that hour or so right after sunrise when everything seemed so new and perfect.
She was born Janet Snow in a small town in Idaho. Two marriages later she had a house bigger than anything she had ever dreamed about as a kid. She had to pinch herself every morning to make sure she wasn’t dreaming that she lived this close to the ocean.
After high school she’d gone to USC and almost immediately met the man of her dreams. It took Len Montag a while to realize it, but she knew right away. They’d been in the same psychology class their first semester. He didn’t ask her out until several months later, but from the first date it was obvious to both of them.
There had been bumpy times, like her having to drop out when she got pregnant, but they managed to squeeze by. She’d worked mostly nights and weekends so Len could work during the day and not have to leave little Warren with a sitter.
It had all paid off though when Len’s big break came. One day she was working in a Starbucks and the next she was attending movie premieres. Suddenly there were no more worries about money and she enjoyed the attention.
The side effect of it all though was that now Len had fame and money to go with his handsome looks. In a town like Los Angeles, good-looking people were a dime a dozen, but if you had fame and money to go with them you could have anything and anyone you could possibly want.
After a couple years of temptation Len had started to stray. When she finally wised up, she’d filed for divorce. She still loved him, even a decade later, but she’d vowed early on that she’d never let anyone cheat on her.
The divorce had been rather amicable, much to the chagrin of the press. Most of the gossip hounds either gave up when the juicy story they wanted didn’t materialize, but a few just manufactured what they wanted to hear.
She got the house, custody of Warren, and alimony, but those were all things Len gave willingly. It was partly selfless on Len’s part, but they both knew that Warren was better off with her and that the courts were going to give her the house and money anyway, so why not do it up front?
All these thoughts passed through her head as she reached for the phone. They always did when she was about to call her son. Warren was so much like Len that it was impossible for her to think of one without the other intruding on her thoughts as well.
“Hello?” Warren asked as he answered the phone.
“Warren Jackson Montag, you should be ashamed of yourself,” Janet scolded.
“I didn’t do it,” Warren responded automatically to having all three of his names invoked.
“You didn’t get a part in a big movie and then make me hear it from Rachel?” Janet questioned.
“Oh, that,” Warren said. “I didn’t tell you because I’m not sure I’ll take the part.”
“So what if Sam is directing?” Janet countered. “Sure he and your dad go way back, you think Drew Barrymore turns down roles for those reasons?”
“You’re not going to let me quit, are you?” Warren asked.
“Not in this lifetime,” Janet said. “I have to get ready for work so tell Rachel I said hi.”
“I can go wake her up if you want to talk to her,” Warren said.
“Let her sleep. She needs it if she’s going to put up with you,” Janet said lovingly.
“I’ll talk to you later mom,” Warren said.
“You can come see me you know,” Janet pointed out. “I’m only in San Diego. It’s not like you have to drive across the country or anything.”
“I was going to come down this weekend, but I have to work since you won’t let me quit,” Warren told her.
“It’ll be worth you putting the visit off a couple weeks if I get to see you on screen,” Janet said. “Remember, tell Rachel I said hi and give her a hug for me.”
“Can I skip the hug? Because if I hug her then I have to hug Adam and I like to keep those to a minimum,” Warren pointed out.
“You know I always liked Rachel, so you give her that hug no matter what,” Janet said.
“What a tough life I lead if my mom’s forcing me to hug cute girls,” Warren mused.
“Yeah, real rough,” Janet sarcastically said. “Love ya.”
“Love you too mom,” Warren said before hanging up.
+ * + * +
“Honey, I’m home,” Len Wiseman called out as he walked through the front door of the house he shared with his wife and stepdaughter.
“Hey baby,” Kate Beckinsale cooed, appearing out of a room to his right. “Too bad I have a meeting with my agent in a few minutes or I’d show you just how much I missed you.”
“You don’t want to talk first?” Len asked, wondering when she’d tear into him for his indiscretions.
“About what?” Kate asked.
“Nothing I guess,” Len said, wondering if she was waiting for a more opportune time or if she was just choosing to ignore it.
“Take a shower and a nap because I planned a party for you tonight,” Kate said. “We can talk about whatever it is you want to talk about after that, okay?”
“Okay,” Len replied, still too mystified by her apparent change of heart to react.
“It really is too bad I have to go because I’d much rather take you upstairs,” Kate said, pressing her body against his as she gave him a quick kiss.
“No time for a quickie?” Len asked.
“Unfortunately, no. I’m already running a little late,” Kate answered.
“Probably better that way then because I don’t think I’d settle for just a quick few minutes,” Len said.
“We’ll have time later,” Kate promised. “Now go take a nap, I know how flying makes you sleepy.”
“Will do,” Len said, sneaking another quick kiss from his wife before she could get away.
+ * + * +
“We’ve got a little while before Lily gets home. How should we spend it?” Kate asked Len when she came home and found him drinking a cup of coffee and reading the paper at the table in the breakfast nook. “I guess I could start getting for the party ready now, what do you think?”
“I think we should use the hour to make up for some lost time,” Len said, grabbing Kate’s hand and pulling her onto his lap.
“Feeling frisky, aren’t we?” Kate asked, feeling his cock start to harden underneath her. She squirmed a little in his lap, causing the lump to grow even faster and press against her ass.
“We could go upstairs, but I don’t know if I want to waste all that time when there’s a perfectly good table right here,” Len said, reaching around front and slipping a hand under her shirt. His fingers traced circles on her stomach as they roamed upward.
“Naughty boy,” Kate said, turning her head so she could kiss him. She moaned into his mouth when his hand cupped her breast through her bra.
“Always,” Len said, slipping his other hand under her legs to pick her up as he got to his feet. He set her down on the table and she grabbed his shirt to pull him to her.
“You know what naughty boys have to do,” Kate said putting a hand on top of his head and pushing him down to his knees.
Not wanting to make waves that might make her remember that he’d fucked Scarlett, Len happily let her take control. From having her sit on his lap, he’d already pretty much determined that she’d forgotten to wear panties, as usual, but it still gave him a bit of a thrill when he unzipped her pants and confirmed it.
“Might as well take everything off,” Kate said when Len had her pants around her knees. Looking down at him she grinned and pulled her shirt off while he finished taking her pants off “They’ve got to come off sooner or later anyway.”
When she was naked Len lightly dragged a finger along the length of her slit. She already had a healthy sheen of wetness clinging to her pussy but a little extra never hurt anybody.
“Do it,” Kate groaned, grabbing the back of his head and pushing it toward her pussy.
She wasn’t in the mood for a long drawn out session with lots of teasing at the moment. All she wanted right now was to feel his tongue stroke her clit and make her come. Once that was out of the way then he could tease her all he wanted.
Sensing what she wanted Len exhaled and blew a stream of air against her pussy before getting to work. Despite her protests, the rush of cool air against her hot pussy sent a shiver through her body and she moaned lightly.
“Fuck me,” Kate demanded when she felt him flatten his tongue against the hood surrounding her clit. She moaned as he slowly tilted his head. The length of his tongue dragged against the shroud until her little pearl popped free and she closed her eyes against the waves of pleasure that washed through her body.
Parting his lips Len took her clit between them, setting off another round of moans from Kate. Nibbling on it lightly he slipped his middle finger into her pussy. As her hips started to gyrate he curved his finger and ran the tip along her pubic bone until he found the right spot.
“Shit,” Kate gasped; her eyes slamming shut as he stroked her g-spot.
Deciding to push her over the edge and get to the real fun, Len closed his lips around her clit. Still stroking her g-spot he began sucking on her clit like it was a straw. The intense suction worked even quicker than he thought it would as she clamped her thighs around his head and grabbed hanks of hair with each hand to hold him in place, screaming as she came.
“Come here,” Kate said, grabbing Len’s shoulders and pulling him up her body.
Even though the table was of quality craftsmanship, Len didn’t want to put too much stress on it. So rather than climbing on top of her to give her the spirited fucking they both craved, he pulled her closer to the edge as her hands pulled his pants down.
Putting his hands on the backs of her knees Len pushed her legs back to spread her out. When her hand grabbed his cock and lined up with her entrance, he pushed slowly, but steadily, into her.
Kate’s eyes shut and her mouth made an O as she moaned at the penetration. To her delight Len didn’t wait before giving it to her. He’d barely bottomed out inside her when he pulled back.
“Fuck me,” Kate demanded, still slightly intoxicated from her orgasm.
Having already gotten Kate off he set out to do the same for himself. He knew her well enough to know that once she got the first climax out of the way the second and third had a tendency to follow quickly so he wasn’t all that worried about her.
Within seconds he was thrusting into her hard enough to make the table move. Luckily it only had a couple feet to go before it hit the wall and stopped. When it stopped though Kate started to slide on the slick surface.
“Don’t stop,” Kate hissed as Len started to slow down so he could pull her back to the edge. Reaching down she grabbed the edge of the table to hold herself in place and hunched her hips at Len to get him to speed up again.
As he fucked his wife Len’s eyes darted across her body. They moved from her angelic face contorted in pleasure to her breasts as they quaked with each thrust. Finally they settled on her pussy as his cock split it in half.
When he felt his orgasm start to build Len was surprised. He’d spent the last week fucking Scarlett every chance he got, yet the hunger and need he felt for Kate after being away was driving him to the edge sooner than he would’ve thought.
“Hurry,” Len grunted in warning. He wanted to hold off, but just hearing her moan was spurring his climax forward.
“I fucked Rachel,” Kate said as she felt Len’s cock start to pulse inside her.
Len’s eyes opened wide with shock as he slammed into her one last time. He wanted to pull out but the first jet of semen was already exploding out of his cock. Images of his wife and his son’s best friend filled his head and he felt light-headed because of them.
Just hearing the words come out of her own mouth sent Kate careening over the edge. With a screech of pleasure she let go of the table. She watched his face as a million different feelings flashed across the surface of his eyes before closing her own to enjoy her orgasm.
“Rachel?” Len demanded as he stumbled backwards, orgasm complete.
“Most men would be happy if their wife fucked another woman,” Kate said, sitting up on the table. She grabbed a towel that had been sitting by Len’s paper and used it to soak up some of their combined juices before they ruined the table.
“Yeah, but Rachel?” Len asked, helpless to stop the feeling of betrayal and shame.
“You fucked what’s-her-name, so I fucked Rachel,” Kate said nonchalantly.
“But,” Len said, his mind completely deserting him. He’d screwed up so she went out and made him pay by seducing a girl that was as close to a daughter as he’d had until he became Lily’s step-dad.
“We’ll talk more later,” Kate said, kissing Len on the cheek before dashing upstairs to take a shower and get ready for the party.
+ * + * +
“I can drive you know,” Warren Montag told Rachel Bilson as she pushed him out the door on the way to Warren’s dad’s party.
“I know you can drive, and you do it well,” Rachel said, trying to placate him. “But if I let you drive yourself, you’ll leave thirty seconds after you walk through the door. This way you have to at least put some effort into avoiding your dad.”
“What if I promise to stay a full half hour?” Warren asked.
“Normally I’d trust you, but not when it comes to spending time in the vicinity of your dad,” Rachel said, pushing him toward Adam’s car.
“Fine, let’s go,” Warren said, giving in and opening the back door.
“That’s the spirit,” Rachel said. “Just talk to him for a couple minutes and then you can spend the rest of the time avoiding him like always.”
+ * + * +
Seeing Warren wander around the party, Kate Beckinsale excused herself from the group she was talking to. Before she could get away though, Warren had already disappeared.
Len thought they were even or at least as close to it as they were going to get, but Kate had other plans. Ever since conceiving the plan to seduce Warren she hadn’t been able to get it out of her mind. It had taken root and she knew it wouldn’t go away until she did something about it.
Setting off in search of her stepson, Kate was on the hunt. She kept up the façade of being the good hostess by mingling and making everyone was happy, but the only thing on her mind at the moment was finding Warren.
When she finally found him though, Kate saw that he had company. Hanging back she watched, hoping his little friend would leave so she could swoop in for the kill.
+ * + * +
After arriving Warren had been a dutiful son and talked to his father for a few minutes. They kept the conversation suitably shallow by focusing on topics like the weather and how much the Dodgers were going to suck come April, but that was how they preferred their quality time.
Right after their little chat Warren had grabbed a glass of champagne and headed for quieter parts. Currently he was sitting on the edge of the pool in the back yard, feet dangling in the water, with the glass sitting empty at his side.
“You look like you’re having fun,” Mischa Barton said from behind Warren.
“What ever gave you that idea?” Warren bitterly said.
“I’ve said I was sorry a million times,” Mischa said, taking off her shoes and sitting down next to him. She dipped her feet in the water as she collected her thoughts. “Right before you got there some guy had done the exact same thing you did, except he wasn’t satisfied until I got a little nasty. Then when you came up, I just started with the nastiness and you haven’t let me forget about it since. If I’d known who you were I wouldn’t have been nearly as mean.”
“That all sounds nice, but you still should have given me the benefit of the doubt and you didn’t. I’m sorry there are douche bags in the world, but you still need to pretend to treat people like they’re not until you find out otherwise,” Warren said as Mischa kicked her feet around in the water.
“Wow, that almost sounded sincere,” Mischa observed.
“Yeah, well, champagne and talking to my dad will do that to me,” Warren said. “They make me forgive people.”
“So you forgive me?” Mischa asked.
“Only if you forgive me for this,” Warren said, putting a hand on her back and pushing her into the pool.
“Help me out of the pool?” Mischa asked, treading water.
“I don’t think so,” Warren said, grinning. “If I hold out my hand, you pull me in and we’re right back where we started.”
“I’ve been trying to get you to forget you don’t like me for two years, I’m not going to risk that after two seconds,” Mischa protested.
“Fine, I’ll help you out,” Warren said, pulling his feet out of the water. He swung around to lie on his stomach so she couldn’t pull him in and stuck his hand out. When she grabbed it he held his arm steady while she pulled herself out.
“Great, now I’m soaked,” Mischa said, shivering as the chill set into her wet skin.
“Come on,” Warren said, picking up their shoes. He led her into the house and to the laundry room through the back way so no one would see her blue dress clinging to her body. “I’ll go see if I can find anything of Kate’s for you to wear. The dryer is there if you want to use it.”
“Wait, unzip me first?” Mischa asked, turning her back to him.
Reaching behind her she grabbed her hair and pulled it over her shoulder out of the way. Grabbing her dress with one hand he pulled the zipper down with the other.
“Thanks,” Mischa said before he closed the door on her.
Warren thought about finding Kate to ask her if he could borrow her clothing, but decided it might make for an awkward couple of moments before he could explain that he needed it for Mischa. Then it would be another awkward couple of moments explaining to his stepmom and probably his dad as well, that it was because he dunked her in the pool and not because they’d been going at it.
Deciding to just go to the source, he went to their room and started digging through drawers. While not possessing exactly the same builds, Mischa and Kate were close enough something designed to be a little baggy like sweat pants would likely work fine. He grabbed the first pair of sweat pants and t-shirt he saw.
When he got back to the laundry room Warren was about to open the door and walk in but decided to be a gentleman and knock. Mischa had never struck him as being overly shy, but he had no idea how far she’d stripped down. If she’d only taken off the dress then she might not get too worked up over it. If she’d taken off her undergarments as well, then that was a completely different story.
“Thanks,” Mischa said as Warren slipped the clothes through the crack she’d opened up in the door.
A few moments later she emerged from the laundry room wearing a pair of black sweat pants and a faded blue t-shirt with the Superman symbol on the front. In her hand she was carrying her wet dress that she’d bunched up into a ball.
“I think I’m going to get out of here,” Mischa said. “What do you want me to do with the clothes?”
“Just give them to Rachel, she’ll get them to me, and I’ll make sure Kate gets them back,” Warren replied.
“Do you want a ride?” Mischa asked. “You don’t look like you want to stick around any longer than you have to.”
“Sure, might as well,” Warren said. “I came with Rachel and Adam, but I’ll be here all night if I wait for them.”
“Then you can show me how to get out of here without walking through the party looking like I just came from the gym,” Mischa said.
“Darn, and I was hoping you’d go out that way too,” Warren joked. “We can go through the kitchen and get you a plastic bag for your dress so it doesn’t get your car all wet.”
“Whatever you think is best since you’re carrying it,” Mischa said, handing him the dress. “You got it wet, you deal with it.”
+ * + * +
“I must not be very good if it took me two years to get you to take off your panties,” Warren said, holding up the pair of blue panties that she’d been wearing before he pushed her into the pool.
“Put those away,” Mischa said, reaching across the car to swat his hand.
“Or what, you’re gonna pull the car over?” Warren challenged.
“Sounds good to me,” Mischa said. “Pull over and leave you on the side of the road. Let you walk the rest of the way.”
“Seeing as how I’m not really wearing walking shoes, I think I’ll behave,” Warren said, putting her panties back into the plastic bag they’d grabbed on the way of his dad’s house.
“What, no joke about how wet you got me?” Mischa asked. “According to Rachel there’s no bad joke you won’t make.”
“I was going to use that to follow up the one about getting you out of your panties but you ruined it by making me act my age,” Warren responded.
“So it’s all my fault, huh?” Mischa asked, pulling up in front of his house.
“I like to think I’m infallible so it couldn’t possibly be my fault,” Warren told her, pushing his door open.
“I know we’re not supposed to like each other and all, but I had fun tonight,” Mischa said. “Even if it meant being pushed into a pool and having to get naked in a closet.”
“I won’t go so far as to say I had fun, but it was certainly an improvement over most of my dad’s parties,” Warren admitted.
“Oh come on, admit it. You had fun,” Mischa prodded.
“Not gonna do it,” Warren said, shaking his head defiantly.
“Yes you did,” Mischa said, reaching over and grabbing hold of his shirt. “I’m not letting go until you admit it.”
“I guess you’re coming with me then, because I admit nothing,” Warren said, grabbing her hand and dragging her across to his side of the car.
“At least let me turn the damn thing off,” Mischa said, using her left hand to turn off the ignition and remove the keys.
“You know, all I have to do is take my shirt off and I’m free,” Warren pointed out as he made his way to his door.
“And yet you don’t, why is that?” Mischa asked, following right behind with her hand still clutching his shirt.
“It’s a little too cold to be out here shirtless. I’m waiting until I get inside to do it,” Warren explained.
“Or you could just admit you had a little fun and be done with me,” Mischa countered.
“Maybe I don’t mind having you tag along,” Warren muttered.
“That’s not quite the admission I was looking for, but it’s just as good,” Mischa said, letting go of his shirt.
Suddenly she realized that what she’d thought was hostility between them was only partly right. There was some hostility there, but it was just a mask for the sexual tension that seemed to crackle intensely. At least she hoped that was the case as he turned to face her.
“See you around,” Warren said, almost sad to see the night come to an end.
“Not quite yet,” Mischa said, reaching out to grab the back of his head and pulling him in for a kiss.
At first Warren was a little too surprised to react. Actually liking Mischa was still too new for him, but he quickly recovered and wrapped his arms around her.
“Wow,” Warren said, left completely speechless when the kiss broke.
“I should go,” Mischa said, letting go of Warren.
“Wait,” Warren said, grabbing her hand before she could walk away. “I had a little fun tonight.”
“I’ll see you around,” Mischa said, smiling at him as she pulled her hand away.
“Count on it,” Warren said, completely baffled, but in a good way, over how the night had turned out.
He’d actually had fun at a boring party, where he’d been subjected to his father’s company, and with a woman he’d been harboring a healthy disdain for no less. The only thing that could make the night even more bizarre was if a piece of frozen crap fell from an airplane and crushed his skull.
+ * + * +
“Where’d you get off to?” Rachel asked Warren, popping her head in the door to make sure he’d gotten home safely. “We looked all over for you but couldn’t find you.”
“Yeah, sorry about that. I caught a ride and forgot to tell you,” Warren said.
“Who brought you home?” Rachel asked, opening the door wider to reveal Adam standing behind Rachel.
“I’m not answering that one,” Warren said. “Hey Adam.”
“Hey,” Adam said, milling around by Rachel’s door waiting for her to let him in.
“Now you have to tell me,” Rachel said. “You only refuse to answer when it’s really juicy.”
“Mischa brought me home,” Warren said, knowing she’d keep pestering him until he told her.
“Wait, what?” Rachel said. Mischa was the last name she’d expected to hear and it set her back a little. “You got into a car with Mischa? How did that happen?”
“I threw her in the pool, so I let her drive me home to make up for it,” Warren said.
“You threw her in the pool?” Rachel asked, flabbergasted once more.
“I’ll tell you in the morning,” Warren said. “Right now it looks like your date is about to leave if he doesn’t get some action soon.”
“He’s right you know,” Adam said, leaning in to put his two cents into the conversation.
“You’re telling me everything in the morning,” Rachel said, poking Warren in the chest with her index finger before Adam dragged her away.
+ * + * +
“I guess we’re even then,” Len said when the last of the partygoers had left.
“Not quite,” Kate said, shaking her head.
“I cheated, you cheated, we’re even,” Len said.
“Mine doesn’t count,” Kate said. “Men like it when women have sex with each other, so it doesn’t count.”
“But it was with Rachel,” Len pointed out for the hundredth time. “I could understand your point if you had sex with some random woman and made me a tape of it, but it was Rachel. The only person on the planet you could’ve picked that would’ve been worse is Warren.”
“Fine, we’re even,” Kate said, her mind flashing to her real target the night she’d settled for Rachel. “But I might want to do it again if you don’t mind.”
“If I get to participate then sure, as long as I get some say in who the third person is,” Len said.
“You’ll like it,” Kate said.
Leaning in close she whispered a name into his ear. His eyes widened as the possibility sank in. It was absolutely ludicrous, yet he really couldn’t think of a reason why it couldn’t work off the top of his head.
“I’m in,” Len said, his heart racing as she led him to the bedroom.
+ * + * +
“He hates Mischa,” Rachel told Adam as she emerged from the bathroom. “This is huge. I’m glad they seem to possibly, maybe, be getting along, but how did it happen?”
“Maybe he just wanted to get away from his dad that much,” Adam suggested. “That’s the only possible conclusion I can come up with for why Warren would get into the same car with his mortal enemy.”
“You make her sound like Sideshow Bob or something,” Rachel said, pulling the covers back and slipping under them. “They’re not mortal enemies out to kill each other, he just prefers to stay as far away from her as possible at all times.”
“Can we stop talking about the potential sex lives of Warren and Mischa and possibly focus on having a sex life of our own tonight?” Adam asked, rolling over onto his side and nibbling on Rachel’s neck.
“I don’t know,” Rachel said, tilting her head to allow him better access. “I really had my heart set on a game of charades or something.”
“We can do both,” Adam suggested. “I’ll have sex with you while you pantomime the act for the audience and see if they get it.”
“Okay, but I’m going to need help selling it,” Rachel said, pushing on the top of Adam’s head.
+ * + * +
“I want details, and I want them now,” Rachel said as she found Warren making coffee in the kitchen in the morning.
“I can see that,” Warren said, noting the fact that she hadn’t even changed out of her pajamas before coming over to harass him.
“Spill it pal,” Rachel said, not letting him stall.
“Well, I was sitting out by the pool where I figured I wouldn’t be bothered by anyone,” Warren began, handing her a cup of coffee. “When Mischa came out and sat next to me I thought about finding somewhere else, but you know me. That would’ve involved going back inside and risk catching my dad when he’d had just enough to drink to get him talking about how I’m not doing anything with my life.”
“Rambling,” Rachel said. “Get to what I want to hear.”
“Anyway, I actually had a pleasant conversation with Mischa,” Warren said. “She apologized, I let her have it a little, and we cleared the air a bit.”
“Where in there did you throw her in the pool?” Rachel asked him, sipping her coffee.
“She wanted me to forgive her, so as a joke I told her I would if she forgave me for pushing her into the pool,” Warren said.
“I’m surprised she didn’t hit you,” Rachel said.
“If she had, I wouldn’t have taken her inside,” Warren said, not bothering to elaborate.
“Wait, wait, wait,” Rachel said. “You can’t stop there.”
“Why not? There’s really nothing else to tell,” Warren said, knowing that he was going to drive her insane.
“Of course there is,” Rachel insisted. “You promised to tell me everything and I want everything.”
“I took her to the laundry room and unzipped her dress,” Warren said.
“Oh my God,” Rachel said, her mind leaping to the conclusion Warren wanted it to. “You didn’t, did you?”
“Go get some of Kate’s clothes for her to wear home instead of her soaking wet dress? Yes I did,” Warren said.
“That’s not nice,” Rachel said, putting her coffee cup down so she could slap his arm with both hands. “Making me think you hooked up with Mischa when you were just being a gentleman, sort of.”
“I even waited and stood guard outside the room while she changed,” Warren said. “When she was changed she wanted to leave and offered me a ride, so I took it.”
“So what does this mean?” Rachel asked him. “Do you suddenly like her now?”
“To tell you the truth, I have no idea,” Warren answered. “I don’t want an anvil to fall on her head any more, but I really don’t know anything else.”
“Warren loves Mischa, Warren loves Mischa,” Rachel chanted, forgetting that she wasn’t in the third grade.
“I can take away your key and make you stay on your side of the property, just so you know,” Warren said.
“I can get a new one from my mom,” Rachel said. “Warren loves Mischa, Warren loves Mischa.”
“If you have to do that, at least make yourself useful and get me the classifieds so I can find somewhere else to live,” Warren said, rolling his eyes.
“If you move I’ll have to use the phone to say ‘Warren loves Mischa, Warren loves Mischa’ to you,” Rachel said.
“I have to go to work,” Warren said, giving up. “I’ll pop in later so you can continue your childish behavior.”
“Ooh, by then I could probably get everybody on the crew to call and leave you messages,” Rachel said.
“Lock up on your way out,” Warren said, opening the door and closing it behind him before she could taunt him some more.
+ * + * +
“Damn it,” Sam Raimi muttered to himself. He was shooting a scene but no matter what he did he wasn’t getting what he wanted. It was a common enough problem, and he had a big enough budget that he didn’t have to worry about doing multiple takes, but he still hated doing take after take.
“Mind if I make a suggestion?” Warren asked Sam.
“Give it to me kid,” Sam said. If nothing else, Warren had impressive bloodlines that lent him credence that even experience sometimes couldn’t.
“I was thinking maybe you could move that camera down to make him look even more imposing,” Warren suggested. “Then move that camera over there to the side so you can get a wider reaction shot. That way you can free up the third camera to zoom in for your tight close-ups.”
“Who knows, maybe you’ve got your father’s eye after all. What the hell, the worst that can happen is we throw it out in the morning. You heard him, move the cameras,” Sam told the crew.
+ * + * +
As Rachel pulled up in front of Len’s house, she was left in awe of the place. She’d been here any number of times, but it still had the same effect on her. Her family had been far from poor growing up, but they’d never lived in a place as gaudy as this.
“You’re just here to thank Len and Kate for the party,” Rachel told herself as she walked up to the front door.
Even as she was telling herself that though, she knew it wasn’t true. Kate had set something off inside of her that she couldn’t quite shake. It wasn’t a newfound appreciation or lust for the female form, though she had been noticing women in short skirts far more over the last week than she ever had before.
It was another yearning that Kate had brought on which had conveyed Rachel to her doorstep. After their encounter all Rachel could think about was how naughty and sexy it had been to feel Kate’s finger in her ass.
She was hesitant to bring it up to Adam, though she knew he’d comply if only to satisfy her, since she’d made such a big deal out of not being interested in it. To ask him to do it now might bring up questions that she wasn’t ready, or even willing, to answer.
Since she didn’t want to let anyone else in on it, that left two people that knew anything. Warren had already done as much for her as either of them was willing to ask or do, so that meant Kate was the only one left that might help her out.
“Rachel, what a pleasant surprise,” Kate said when she opened the door. “Len’s not here, but you’re welcome to come in if you want.”
“Thanks, but I just wanted to drop by and thank you for inviting us to the party last night,” Rachel said.
“You helped plan it,” Kate pointed out. “Besides, Len would never have forgiven me if I’d left you out. He thinks so much of you. Come on, come inside and we can talk.”
“Thank you,” Rachel said, moving past Kate and into the entryway.
“So, why are you really here?” Kate asked Rachel when they’d settled in the sitting room. “And don’t tell me it’s to thank me for the party, you could’ve done that over the phone.”
“It’s about last week,” Rachel said, looking at the ground as she said it.
“What about last week? You didn’t enjoy yourself?” Kate asked, moving to sit on the couch next to Rachel.
“I did,” Rachel said, blushing slightly at the admission.
“Enjoyed it too much then?” Kate asked, leaning closer.
“Parts of it,” Rachel said as the temperature of the room shot up ten degrees with Kate’s proximity.
“Which parts?” Kate pressed.
“When you, you know,” Rachel said, feeling like a timid virgin or something.
“The front or the back?” Kate asked, not quite sure exactly what part Rachel was talking about.
“The back,” Rachel said, the memory flashing through her mind and setting off bursts of hormones as it went.
“Ah, a backdoor girl,” Kate said, smiling as Rachel finally got to the point. “You wanted to try it again, is that it?”
“No, yes, I don’t know,” Rachel said, completely confused about her own feelings.
“Come on,” Kate said, grabbing Rachel’s hand. “I’ll be gentle and then you can decide how much you like it.”
“Wait,” said Rachel, but Kate paid her little attention as she dragged her up the stairs.
+ * + * +
On his first full day back from Mexico, Len was busy wading through reams of footage. He was taking the first step toward editing it all together into one cohesive movie.
It was both his favorite and least favorite part. He hated it because it was tedious at the beginning, watching the same scene over and over trying to pick which to keep when they all looked the same. At the same time, it marked a culmination of the work and it was always worth the hassle in the end when he saw it on the big screen.
As the footage droned on and on, Len’s thoughts drifted to his son. He had everything he could possibly ask for, except a healthy relationship with Warren. He took most of the blame for it on himself, but he had no idea how to fix it. Warren wouldn’t let him help out with his career, and resented any effort he made, and that was really the only area he had any expertise in.
The problems started with the divorce. It hadn’t been a messy one, by any stretch of the word, but it had still succeeded in turning Warren against him. The fact his second wife, an actress in one of his first movies after his breakthrough by the name of Ashley Gordon, didn’t want kids and he’d stupidly distanced himself from Warren because of that hadn’t helped any.
By the time Ashley figured out he wasn’t giving her career the boost she wanted and divorced him, the damage had already been done. Now he was lucky if Warren said more than a few words to him at one time. Half the time he suspected the only thing that kept him coming around was that he had a soft spot for Lily and liked the idea of having a little sister.
“Maybe that’s the answer,” Len muttered to himself, making a mental note.
+ * + * +
“Good job, the whole set is buzzing about how this pissant kid is telling Sam how make his movie,” Kirsten told Warren while Sam was busy filming a scene without her. “I may have to start calling you Ace if you keep it up.”
“I wasn’t telling him how to do it, I just made a suggestion that he chose to use. You’ll probably be shooting the same scene again tomorrow without my input,” Warren said.
“I know why he took your advice, but most of the crew has no idea who your father is,” Kirsten said. “They just see this kid with nothing on his resume marching in here and thinking he knows more than everyone else. If you went by Wiseman, some of them might make the connection.”
“Yeah, yeah, he only listened to me because he and my dad go way back,” Warren said.
“That might’ve been a factor, but Sam isn’t going to do something if he doesn’t think it’s any good,” Kirsten said. “This is my third film with him and he has no problem telling me point blank when my ideas suck.”
“Oddly enough that made me feel better,” Warren told her.
“Good, then come on,” Kirsten said, grabbing Warren’s hand.
Warren had given up asking questions when Kirsten dragged him around. He rarely got answers and it usually involved him getting some kind of action, so he quit bothering.
This time she led him out of the soundstage and between buildings until she found the one she was looking for. Pushing the door open she nodded her head inside and led him down the dimly lit hallway of what appeared to be a warehouse.
Doors appeared on both sides at varying intervals. There were racks of costumes and various props leaning against the wall waiting to either be reused or moved to a more permanent location.
“Here’s what we want,” Kirsten said, pushing another door open and leading Warren into a room almost too big to be possible. It wasn’t that the room itself was so big, but that there was no way it could it in the space since the last door.
“Did you drag me into the Twilight Zone or something, because there’s no way this room should be this big,” Warren informed her.
“Of course it can,” Kirsten said. “Most of the doors out there are little more than closets while the bigger rooms like this one go all the way back and extend out behind the smaller ones.”
“I see, so what exactly is this place?” Warren asked her as she picked her way through a maze of old sets.
“A graveyard, so to speak,” Kirsten replied. “Most sets are either tossed out or picked apart by directors looking to save a buck on their budget by recycling material from old sets.”
“I can see that,” Warren said, noting that most of the sets were little more than a wall or two.
“Of course, some survive pretty much in tact for whatever reasons,” Kirsten said, turning a corner and motioning toward a very familiar looking set.
“You brought me all this way to show me Peter Parker’s bedroom?” Warren asked her.
“Actually, I brought you here so you could cash that rain check,” Kirsten said, flashing him her dimples as she grinned at him. “Of course, I could take you back if you’re not going to be appreciative.”
“Are you looking for me to drop to my knees and kiss your feet, because I’m willing to do it,” Warren said.
“Don’t get carried away,” Kirsten told him. “All you’re getting is a blowjob.”
“I guess a blowjob from Mary Jane in Peter’s bedroom is pretty special,” Warren said as Kirsten’s hand found his zipper.
“That’s the spirit,” Kirsten said, reaching into Warren’s pants and pulling his cock out.
+ * + * +
Before Rachel even knew what was happening she was standing in Kate’s room. Part of her wanted to leave before it got out of hand but the rest of her was too turned on to move. Her body was shivering, but from excitement and desire rather than the temperature.
“You’ll like it,” Kate said confidently as she pulled Rachel’s shirt off over her head to expose her braless tits. “Came prepared, I see.”
Bending at the knees slightly Kate leaned down and flicked her tongue across one of Rachel’s nipples. As she moved back and forth between nipples, Kate let one of her hands glide down Rachel’s stomach until it found the button on skirt. Popping it open she let the skirt fall to the floor and dragged a finger along Rachel’s pussy through her panties.
“Take them off,” Kate said, snapping the waistband of Rachel’s panties as she disengaged from her breasts.
Without thought Rachel moved to comply. While Kate moved to her dresser Rachel hooked her fingers in her panties and slid them down over her legs. As she stepped out of them she felt goosebumps rise on her skin.
“Hands and knees on the bed,” Kate said, grinning as she thought about how Len would definitely not approve of what she was going to do.
Putting Len out of her mind for the moment Kate climbed up onto the bed behind Rachel. Putting aside the dildo she’d pulled out for the occasion, she popped the cap on the bottle of KY Warming Gel. Squirting some in the palm of her hand she dabbed a finger in it and rubbed it against Rachel’s asshole.
“Ooh,” Rachel moaned as she felt the lube start to warm up and send tendrils of heat through her lower body.
Slipping a finger inside Rachel’s ass Kate worked it around, loosening her up a little more. When she was sure she was as lubed up as possible Kate smeared the remaining lube in her hand along the shaft of the dildo.
The black one wasn’t as thick as some of her other toys, but that was precisely why she’d picked it. It was big enough to give Rachel a point of comparison to see if she really wanted to be fucked in the ass, but not so big as to be imposing to someone who’d never had more than a finger in such a tight area.
“You’re going to want to tense up, fight it,” Kate instructed Rachel.
When Rachel felt the dildo press against her asshole she felt herself start to tense up just like Kate said. Dropping down onto her elbows she closed her eyes and concentrated on relaxing. Soon enough she felt her anus begin to yield under Kate’s insistent pressure.
As the fake cock made its way into her anal cavity Rachel gripped the sheets tightly. She gritted her teeth against the pain of being stretched but at the same time she felt a small amount of pleasure begin to build. By the time Kate had most of the dildo inside her the satisfaction was starting to overwhelm the pain.
Sensing that Rachel needed a little extra stimulation to really get into it, Kate reached underneath her with one hand and began to frig her clit. As Rachel began to push back against the dildo Kate started to slowly move it in and out.
“Uhh,” Rachel grunted, biting her lip as the pain and pleasure mingled, setting her body on fire.
“You like it, don’t you? Sluts love it in the ass,” Kate said, pushing the dildo into Rachel’s ass with a bit more velocity.
“Fuck me,” Rachel said, pushing back to meet Kate’s thrusts.
Rachel’s upper body was pressed against the bed and every push she made back against Kate’s thrusts raked her nipples across the sheets. The friction sent tremors of pleasure through her from yet another erogenous zone.
“Such a dirty slut,” Kate commented, changing the position of the dildo every so often to alter the angle and give Rachel a fuller array of experiences.
As Kate worked Rachel over she started getting ideas of things she could do to the younger girl. They didn’t have time today to get to them, but she was sure Rachel would be back. And when she did, Kate figured to have a nice long list of things for her to experience.
“Fuck,” Rachel grunted as she felt her body surge toward climax.
Rachel had long since forgotten she was supposed to feel pain. The wickedness of having another woman fuck her ass was just too great. There was still a small amount, but Kate’s fingers on her clit were overpowering it.
As Rachel began to tremble with the first signs of orgasm Kate decided to give her a little taste of the first thing she wanted to try with her. Moving the finger from Rachel’s clit she extended it out and pressed it against her pussy.
“Shit,” Rachel gasped as she felt the finger enter her. It felt huge with the dildo in her ass already stretching her out.
Just as Kate had hoped, the double penetration pushed Rachel over the edge. Gasping for breath the younger girl went rigid as her ass clamped down on the toy. Her pussy gripped Kate’s finger and milked it as she shook with pleasure.
By the time Kate removed the dildo Rachel was little more than a puddle. Every muscle in her body went limp and without any support she seemed to melt into the bed.
As the synapses in her brain started to fire again thought began to crowd Rachel’s head. She’d expected to hate having her ass fucked and then be able to go back to normal. Instead, after the initial pain of entry, she’d loved it and already her small desire was already beginning to grow in a full-blown craving.
“How much time do you have?” Kate asked, hoping that she might be able to get a little something of her own worked in.
“Shit,” Rachel gasped, suddenly remembering that she had to work. She’d left a little early so she could thank Kate, but she was sure the small grace period she’d given herself had expired.
“Maybe next time,” Kate said, regretfully watching Rachel hurry up and get dressed.
And if Rachel didn’t come back, that just meant Kate would have to pick up her other quest where she’d left off. She still intended to fuck Warren, it was just a matter of finding the right time. If Rachel kept coming back then she just might be too over sexed to seduce Warren.
“Maybe,” Rachel said, her craving for backdoor play already making her want to stay and keep going. If she wasn’t late for work as it is she probably would’ve let Kate do anything to she wanted.
+ * + * +
Meanwhile, in a warehouse on the Sony lot Warren was busy with his own work. Technically he was on break from his work, and having Kirsten Dunst lick his cock like a lollipop would hardly count as work even if he were on duty, but he was still getting paid to be there.
“Tell me what you want,” Kirsten told him as her fingers massaged his nutsack.
“Suck my cock,” Warren said, putting a hand on top of her head.
As she slipped the head of his cock into her mouth Warren turned his head. Looking out the window on the wall of the set he thought he could almost see Mary Jane Watson on the other side. That was impossible because Mary Jane was the one slobbering on his knob, but for a moment he had a weird sense of déjà vu.
Sucking on the head Kirsten wrapped her hand around the shaft. It was thick enough that she couldn’t quite get her fingers all the way around. Jacking the shaft she pushed her head down, taking more of his cock into her mouth.
When her lips reached her hand Kirsten started to pull back, her tongue swirling around the head all the way. Pulling her mouth completely off she tilted her head so she could look up at him.
While she ran her tongue along the shaft of his cock she fixed him with a look that was such a mix of innocence and depravity that it almost made him blow his wad right there. As much as he wanted to see his come splattered across her dimples though, he knew it’d be too messy and at the very least would require her makeup to be redone.
“You want to come, don’t you?” Kirsten asked him, feeling his cock lurch in his hands.
“Not yet,” Warren said, pushing on the back of her head to urge to take it back into her mouth.
When she complied and slipped the head of his cock back between her lips, Warren grunted and closed his eyes. Her tongue was gliding along the shaft as she pushed more into her mouth and her fingers deftly massaged his testicles.
Feeling her hand leave his balls Warren opened his eyes and looked down. Kirsten was bobbing her head up and down on his cock while one hand held it steady. Her other hand had crept down her body and was currently occupied in skirt she was wearing.
“Uhh,” Kristen moaned, slipping a finger into her pussy.
The vibrations of her moans rippled across the surface of Warren’s cock, driving him crazy. Unable to stop himself he began to move his hips slightly, fucking her mouth while he held her head in place.
“Fuck my face,” Kirsten said, pulling off his cock for a moment before pushing back onto it.
Putting one hand on the back of her head and resting the other on top Warren set about granting that request. Tilting his head back he closed his eyes and began to pump his hips, sliding his cock in and out from between her lips.
While her mouth was being fucked Kirsten wasn’t idle. Her left hand left its spot wrapped around his penis and moved down to massage his balls. Meanwhile, her right was busy on her pussy. She positioned her fingers so she could slip two of them into her hole while they rubbed her clit at the same time.
Sensing his orgasm right around the corner Warren picked up speed. He didn’t want to push too far into her mouth and choke her, so he stuck to short, quick thrusts.
Feeling Warren speed up, Kirsten increased her own tempo to keep up. She was fingering herself in time with Warren’s thrusts into her mouth and the increased speed caused her to moan around his cock. The moans in turn spurred Warren on, driving both of them to greater heights.
Unable to hold it any longer Warren stopped thrusting with just the head of his cock in her mouth. Fighting the urge to push it as far in as he could, he gritted his teeth and held still. Curling his lips in a grimace his hips started to buck slightly as the first spurt of semen exploded from his cock.
Feeling the warm liquid splash against the roof of her mouth Kirsten slipped her left hand from his balls and down her body. As she swallowed the come he offered her, she diddled herself with both hands. One hand stroked her clit while the other pistoned two fingers in and out of her snatch until she felt her body start to tremble with the onset of her own climax.
Finally empty, Warren removed his cock from Kirsten’s mouth. He watched as she shuddered through her orgasm, her hands still moving slightly as she worked to prolong her climax.
“I was going to offer to help, but it looked like you had it well in hand,” Warren told her when she finally started to come back down to earth.
“You still could’ve helped,” Kirsten said, her legs a little wobbly as she got to her feet.
“You want help, you let me take you to dinner,” Warren told her.
“I think this might have to be our last get together,” Kirsten said, lifting her to adjust her panties back to normal.
“Why? There’s still lots of fun to be had,” Warren pointed out.
“I know, but Jake’s coming home next week and you obviously want more than I can give,” Kirsten replied. “I can set you up with a friend of mine though if you’re interested. She’s cute and is currently unattached, which is what you really need.”
“Why does everyone want to set me up?” Warren asked of no one in particular, shaking his head in disbelief.
“You want a girlfriend, so we’re trying to give you one,” Kirsten said, though she knew he didn’t really want an answer. “Come on, you’ll like her, I promise.”
“Whatever,” Warren grumbled.
“I’m so sure you’ll like her that if you don’t then I’ll let you have your way with me some more,” Kirsten said.
“Give me her number and I’ll think about it,” Warren said.
“We should be getting back before Sam starts to wonder where we are, but you’ll have her number before you leave,” Kirsten said, grabbing his hand and leading him out of the little maze she’d dragged him into.
+ * + * +
“How was your day?” Rachel asked Warren as she plopped herself down on his couch to watch tv.
“The usual,” Warren said, idly flipping through channels.
“Then why are you glowing?” Rachel asked, pointing at his face. “Get lucky at work?”
“I could ask you the same thing,” Warren said, ignoring her teases.
Figuring that if she continued to press for details then he’d press back, Rachel decided to back off. Crossing her arms over her chest she leaned back into the couch and watched channel after channel flip by.
“Pick something already,” Rachel snapped as Warren reached the end of the channels and started another round.
“Something’s off here,” Warren observed. “You look like you got laid today but you’re irritable like you’ve been celibate for a month.”
“I just want to watch more than ten seconds of something is all,” Rachel curtly said.
“No, that’s not it,” Warren said, forgetting about his channel surfing for the time being.
“Yes it is, now why are you watching Oxygen? I’m a woman and I don’t even watch it,” Rachel said, changing the subject.
“You told me to pick something,” Warren said, deciding to let it go since she obviously didn’t want to talk about whatever was on her mind.
“I meant pick something good,” Rachel said, snatching the remote from his hand.
“I think Pretty Woman is on somewhere in case you want to watch it for the zillionth time,” Warren suggested.
“Wait, Harry Potter’s on pay-per-view, let’s watch that,” Rachel said.
“Okay, but only if I get to make remarks about how hot Hermione is going to be in a couple years,” Warren said.
“That’s fine, just keep away from the comments about how hot she is now,” Rachel said. “Lusting after fifteen-year-olds can get you in trouble.”
“For your information she’s almost sixteen. But I’m perfectly willing to do nothing more than watch for another two years and change. Come April of 2008 however, she’s fair game,” Warren said.
“Whatever, you pervert,” Rachel said, setting the remote on the arm of the couch and settling in to watch the movie.
“I can’t be that bad if everyone and their sister is trying to set me up with their friends,” Warren muttered.
“Speaking of which, Adam is still trying to get you in with Alexis,” Rachel said. “I may have to set up an ‘accidental’ meeting so she can see you’re not some hunchback we’re taking pity on.”
“I do like to ring church bells though,” Warren said.
“You haven’t even been near a church for as long as I’ve known you,” Rachel said.
“I have so. It was back when I was in Vietnam fighting Charlie,” Warren said.
“You were born after the war ended, dumb ass,” Rachel pointed out.
“No, this was when I was fourteen. We went to Vietnam on vacation and I got into a fight with some kid named Charlie because I wouldn’t let him ring the church bells,” Warren explained, feigning seriousness.
“It’s times like these I wonder why I bother hanging out with you,” Rachel said, trying not laugh for fear it might encourage him.
“I really got into a lot of trouble for it though because Charlie was six,” Warren continued. “Really kicked his ass though.”
“You should be proud of yourself, beating up a six year old like that,” Rachel said, sarcasm dripping off her words.
“I was, until my mom threatened to stick bamboo shoots under my fingernails as punishment,” Warren said. “She really got into the spirit of the country with that one.”
“I’m going home,” Rachel said, getting up from the couch. “I’ll come back and finish the movie tomorrow when you’re done talking about Vietnam.”
“I’m sure I’ll be done with Vietnam by then,” Warren said. “I’ll be hitting China about midnight and should be in Mongolia, or possibly even Russia, by daybreak.”
“If you stop completely, I promise not to tease you about Mischa for a few days,” Rachel said.
“Better yet, you tell me what happened today to make you so short tempered,” Warren said.
“Nothing happened,” Rachel said, though both of them knew how transparent she was. He had made it clear the last time that he didn’t want to hear about anything between her and Kate, so she’d decided he didn’t need to know.
“Fine, maybe in the morning you’ll be ready to spill it,” Warren said.
“Nothing happened, really,” Rachel repeated, crossing to the door.
When she had closed the door behind her, Warren pulled the folded piece of paper out of his pocket that Kirsten had given him. Opening it up he tossed around the idea of dialing the number but ultimately decided to hold off. Kirsten had assured him her friend was cute, and if she was who he thought she was then she definitely was. After all, how many Emmy’s are there out there?
He wanted to call simply out of curiosity, but he’d never liked blind dates. He preferred to have some idea what a woman was like before he got stuck having dinner with her. Sure there were still bad dates every so often, but the chances of failure were higher when two random people are cajoled into spending a couple hours together when they had nothing in common.
Ultimately, his dislike of being set up won out over his curiosity. Folding the piece of paper up he stuck it back in his pocket and decided to watch the movie instead.