Birthday Wishes

The following story is purely a work of fiction of a sexual nature.
If you’re not of age, it’s illegal to view such material in your
community, etc. then stop right now and go away.

Archive and distribute freely as you please just no paysites, leave
the story intact, and leave my e-mail inside as well.

Birthday Wishes

Scribbled together by JJ

It’s funny in a way, or sadly pathetic. It depends on your point of
view and that you can figure out on your own. It all starts a few
years back shortly before or after Stars Wars: Episode I – The
Phantom Menace was released
in theaters. Natalie Portman was all the
rage with the new Star Wars movie coming out, and I’m not quite sure
what prompted me to, but one day I sat down and typed out a sex
story. It took me maybe twenty minutes to write and needless to say
it sucked.

Back then I didn’t care about plot or development or anything of
that nature just good old-fashioned whack material. Not that what
I’m writing now isn’t stroke material, but whenever I do get around
to writing something new I now tend to try and put forth some
effort. I don’t know, it’s just that I find it a bit too cheesy to
write about how I was working at an Office Max or Staples in
Hollywood one day when Kirsten Dunst walks in asking for Scotch
Tape. I give her directions and for some reason I follow her to the
tape aisle where she happens to be alone and fingering herself
because we have a two for one special going on. At that point I take
her into back where it happens to be empty and there’s a really
comfy cot that we use to get on and make out while I show her the
true power of a pricing gun.

That’s a stupid and farfetched idea, but it gets my point across.
It’s really easy to write absurd and out there stories, not that me
having sex with Kirsten or ever meeting her isn’t absurd, but I’ll
address Ms. Dunst and our meeting in a moment. If you like writing
short stroke material stories then more power to you there’s room
for everybody, and while I’m not an English major by any means and
could probably do a better job of editing my stories please use a
spell checker and use some god damn form of paragraph and sentence

Anyways let’s return to the point of this mess. As I sit here at my
desk I find myself in the beginnings of writing another erotic
celebrity story. Yeah I’ve heard the argument over the difference
between erotica and pornography, but unless you’re willing to freely
show your friends and family what you’re into then what’s the point
in trying to distinguish between the two? I’ve sidetracked myself
enough so far and there is a time and a place to beat that dead
horse some more, but this isn’t it.

Like I stated a few minutes ago I find myself sitting here again
working on another story under yet another nick. To those who have
read anything I’ve written it shouldn’t be too hard to figure out
who I last was. Why am I writing another story? Perhaps because I’m
bored, perhaps because it’s fun, but whatever the reason I keep
finding myself coming back to CSSA despite the number of times I’ve
said to myself I was finished writing and have e-mailed the
webmaster to remove my stories. I nearly broke away this time going
as far as having all my previous stories marked as being written by

I never “leave” the site or the discussion boards for a good reason,
though I have deleted my pen name from the boards several times.
I’ve left because of a lack of feedback which I figured out is never
a good reason to write for. It’s nice to receive mail every once in
awhile saying “Your story was good” or “Your story really sucked”
and it certainly helps in keeping you writing, but once you start
writing for feedback and glory you quickly lose the desire to write
once your inbox starts to run dry. There have been a few other
stupid reasons for me quitting such as thinking of a handful of
authors being elitists who formed their own circle-jerk club and
gave each other pats on the back for everything. Most of my
reasoning for leaving has been severely flawed and wrong.

So I’m back writing again for the time being with a new story to
tell. It starts way back when I still wrote under the name turc443
and had just started work on my contribution to the “Celebs Meet
C-S-S-A” series which was about nine months ago. Kirsten Dunst fits
into this because she had a hand in helping me write the story which
was initially meant to revolve around another story I wrote, but
more or less turned into an account of the weekend she and I spent
together. I’m not going to go into detail about that here since the
story is still up and you can just read it to find out what

The point at which I’m going to start now is what happened after
that weekend. I did finish the story, and although I had some issues
with it I was pretty happy with the way it turned out. I e-mailed
Kirsten a copy of it when I finished, and though she did point out a
few things that I had noticed after it was posted at,
she said she liked it and thought it turned out pretty good.

I had my job I had to work from eight to five and Kirsten had things
she had to do during her free time, but we managed chat with each
other on ICQ or on the phone from time to time. The month and a half
that she had came and went of course and she flew out to England
like I knew she would. I knew the time that I had with the ability
to talk to her online was short and I knew it was going to end so I
was ok with it; well as ok as I can be anyways. Like I’ve stated
before and as those who know me personally know I can be a bit of a
headcase sometimes.

The day after Kirsten left as I worked on the story and throughout
different points in the day when something would remind me of her I
got to thinking about the weekend. Despite the fanboy I was and
still am, and despite the sex, I truly appreciated what that weekend
lead to. Obviously, we chatted about the story and how it was going,
but the little things we talked about like life in general, how we
were doing, and just other what I would consider small insignificant
things really kind of made me happy because I was talking with
someone who cared or at least seemed to.

I know I’m probably completely responsible for doing this to myself,
but one of the things I learned was that people can easily survive
being alone. I had done so for twenty-three years even when I was
growing up living with my parents. I never really talked to them or
made an attempt to develop a meaningful relationship with either
one, but this isn’t the place to talk about that. It took me too
long to figure this out, but nobody really wants to be alone. Of
course if you can serve up a big dose of apathy then it makes things
a lot easier.

I see I’m veering away from the point of this story so let me get
back on track here. After Kirsten left the country and I was left on
my own I did all right for awhile holding onto my memories and new
found realizations. During the time between then and now a few
noteworthy things happened.

After the accident Sara and Mike got married two months later, then
Sara gave birth to a baby boy a few months ago and named it George
after her grandfather. Even though I pulled Sara, Mike, and their
then unborn baby from the wreckage before it exploded I was still a
bit surprised when they asked me to be George’s godfather. Time
heals all wounds or something I suppose. I’m a lapsed Catholic so I
didn’t take as much honor and dignity from being asked as I guess I
should have, but it’s one of those questions you can’t really say no
to. I still see and talk to them from time to time, but its usually
small talk and at the grocery store or a gas station.

Oh and I moved across town into another apartment. The events
surrounding my move are a whole nother story, but they can basically
be summed up like this. The apartment building I had been living in
for almost two years, the same one Kirsten visited me at, wasn’t in
an upscale part of town nor was it in the ghetto. It was in a
middle-class part of town if you want to call it something. I knew
the landlord Steve pretty well. I wasn’t going out and having drinks
with him every night, but I saw him enough to be on relatively good
terms with him almost to the point of being friends. Almost friends.
However, and there’s always a however, with two months left on the
lease I find out he’s pushing drugs on the side. When the police
showed up and arrested him it was then that I decided to move.
Steve’s sister who ran a complex in a different part of town came in
to run things until his family knew for certain what was going to
happen to him as far as jail time went. I let my lease run out and
moved the hell out. She asked me to stay and reconsider, but
considering too that I lent Steve money over the two years that he
never paid back it wasn’t a difficult decision for me.

Other than the baby and the apartment there wasn’t too much
excitement in my life. It was a few months after Kirsten had left
and life had returned to normal for me, which meant going to work,
coming home, going to bed, and then running this same exact routine
over again the next day. Again, and I say again because this has
happened before and will probably happen again, I got to a point
where I became very apathetic and ho-hum about writing celebrity
erotica. I wrote a few stories after “Celebs Meet CSSA #12: Kirsten
Dunst”, but I still lost my desire to write anything pornographic or
otherwise. I even tried to do a series which turned into a big bust
after only three chapters. Before I forget let me mention this now.
Out of the celeb stories I wrote after CMC #12 most involved
musician Avril Lavigne. She’s also the celeb I wrote the most
stories about at a whopping three pieces.

So with much apathy and little excitement in my life I returned to
watching movies and playing video games whenever I was at home. Like
I said earlier this most recent departure from writing and CSSA had
me getting the webmaster to change all the pen names on my stories
to Anonymous. What I didn’t mention earlier was that I also deleted
my username from the message board and even uninstalled ICQ from my
computer. Kirsten was pretty much gone from my life and the only
reason I had ICQ in the first place was because of my stories just
in case anyone every wanted to talk to me when I was online. I still
had Yahoo Instant Messenger, but that was mostly used to talk to a
few friends who knew nothing of my sex stories and most of the time
it was off anyways.

The beginning of this story takes place about a month and a half to
two months ago. It was a Thursday evening like every other day of
the workweek. I had just gotten home from work and got the mail
before heading inside. Not that it’s really all that pertinent to
this story, but I’m a sales assistant at a company that sells phone
systems and other related things. This is just to tide me over until
I figure out what I want to do with my life. Anyways, I don’t really
get a lot of mail except for my monthly bills. This particular day I
got some junkmail and large bubble envelope. I didn’t give the
package a second look and tossed it onto the kitchen table thinking
that since my birthday was coming up my brother had found some
obscure oddball horror movie that I hadn’t seen and sent it to me. I
tossed the junkmail in the trashcan before checking to see what was
in the fridge.

I really didn’t feel like cooking, but since I didn’t have much of
anything and needed to go to the store hotdogs were about my only
option. I still had a can of chili in one of my kitchen cabinets so
chilidogs were on the menu tonight. I turned on the stove and set a
pot of water on it. After throwing in the last two hotdogs I had I
put another pot on the stove this filled with the last can of chili
I had. I set the temperature for the chili side of the stove lower
so it would heat up about the same time as the hotdogs did. I
grabbed a Bud Light from the fridge and flipped on the tv in the
living room and turned it to Sports Center on ESPN.

I watched tv for a bit then got up to check on the wieners and
chili. Both were ready so I turned the oven off and fetched the dogs
from the water with a fork. As I took a bite of the chilidog and
swallowed down some beer my cordless phone rang.

“Hello?” I coughed nearly choking on a bit of hotdog that I
swallowed too fast.

“Hey JJ, it’s Dan.”

“Hey, what’s up?”

“I got the Avril Lavigne tickets you wanted.”

“What Avril Lavigne tickets?”

“You don’t remember?”

“All I remember is last week you saying that your girlfriend wanted
you to take her and you asking me if I wanted to go with you two,
because you really didn’t want to go. I said yes, but I was being
sarcastic and had a thick enough layer for anyone to see.”

“Great so what am I supposed to do with an extra ticket?”

“Uh, how about get a refund? What am I going to do at a concert
filled with twelve-year-olds and you two making out the whole time?”

“Ah Christ man, we aren’t going to be doing anything. You know
Jennifer is a huge fan of Avril’s, so what am I going to be doing at
a concert full of twelve-year-olds?”

“Do I have to pay you back for the ticket?”

“Will that make a difference?”

“Maybe, maybe not though it’d help if I didn’t.”

“Ok fine, you don’t have to pay me back. You’re a bastard you know
that right?”

“Hey, you’re the one who ignored my sarcasm and bought me the
ticket. Like I said you can just take it back for a refund. You’ve
got to ask yourself, is my company worth thirty-five bucks?”

“You know I have no choice in the matter so this time your company
is worth that much, though under normal circumstances I wouldn’t
give more than a fifty cents off coupon for Rice-a-Roni for it.”

“What about beer?”

“Do they sell beer at these kinds of concerts?”

“They better.”

“If they sell it I’ll even throw in two beers. I can’t afford to
blow much more than that on you. Of course if you really wanted to
be a friend you just get liquored up before the concert and save
me money.”

“Nah, I’ll drink the beer there. Now what about t-shirts?”

“I’m not buying you a god damn Avril Lavigne t-shirt! I’m not even
getting one for Jennifer. She’s buying it herself.”

“God damn Dan I was just kidding,” I laughed. “So when’s the concert

“It’s on your birthday actually, August 11th.”

“August 11th? That’s like a week and a half from now. How long did
you wait to get tickets?”

“I waited until Jennifer said something about the concert which was
last week. I didn’t want to go and was hoping she wouldn’t know
Avril was in town until too late, and for whatever reason she didn’t
say anything about it until last week. Anyways I’ve got to go and
run some errands for her, so I’ll talk to you later.”

“Errands huh? That a boy. Keep the master happy.”

“Fuck you JJ. At least I’m married.”

“That’s your problem and not mine.”

“You’re not going to stay single forever. Some broad is going to
fall in love with you and ‘make’ you marry her as you put it. Your
time is coming.”

“We’ll see. I’ll talk to you later Dan. My brother just sent me some
movie for my birthday and I’m fixing to watch it.”

“Cool, let me know how it turns out.”

“Ok, cya.”

“Talk to you later man.”

After the line went dead I put the phone back on the pedestal. I
finished eating dinner and threw the empty dishes into the sink. I
threw my empty beer bottle away and got a new one from the fridge. I
grabbed the envelope off the table and opened it. I then noticed the
package was postmarked in New York and had given no name. There was
only an address. Every once in awhile my brother would just write
his address only, but this wasn’t one of those times as he currently
resided in Tacoma, Washington.

Curious as to what the hell was on the tape, I took it out and
popped it into the VCR. There was no note in the package and no
labeling of any kind on the vhs tape. I turned the tv to three and
started to press play when my phone rang again. I retrieved the
phone from the kitchen and returned the living room. As I sat down
on the couch pushing play on the VCR remote I answered the phone.


“Guess who.”

As soon as she said “guess” I immediately knew who it was. It had
been awhile since we last talked, and even longer since that
weekend. I guess I kind of expected her to disappear completely from
my life leaving me with my memories, so I was shocked when I picked
up and heard her voice. I didn’t know what to say and just sat there
in silence for a bit.

“Hello? You there JJ?”

“Yeah I am Kirsten,” I finally stammered out. I had spent time with
her before and gotten to know her about as well as one can over a
three-day period, but I was still in shock and close to returning to
fanboy form.

“You ok?”

“Yeah I’m fine.”

“Ok, it just sounded like you left or something since you didn’t say

“Well I wasn’t really expecting to hear from you again.”

“Speaking of which, what happened to you? You’re stories are all
marked as Anonymous at CSSA, your name is gone from the message
board, you haven’t returned any of my e-mails, you’re never on ICQ
anymore, and you’ve moved. You just up and disappeared.”

“You flew to England to film your movie and I’ve pretty much stopped
writing stories which is why I disappeared. It’s been like nine
months since you were down here and almost seven since we last

“Are you ok? You’re not having fights with Sara and Mike again are

“No, actually everything is pretty cool between us now and I’m even
the godfather of George.”


“Sara and Mike’s kid. They had a boy and everyone’s doing ok.
Anyways, how did you get my number?”

“You left your forwarding information at your old apartment complex
and I got it from them. Not that it was difficult to track you down,
but why’d you move and not say anything to me?”

“Uh, because you’re a celebrity flying all over the world making
movies and making appearances at events and stuff. We’re from two
different worlds. I have no idea what you’re schedule is like and I
just figured that the weekend was one of those rare occasions. You
know what happened, I know what happened, but who’s going to believe
me and who are you going to tell?”

“Let’s not start this again JJ.”

“Yeah I know. I’m sorry. I’m curious though, why are you calling

“I was in New York last week doing something for MTV and I mailed
you a package. I was calling to see if you got it yet.”

“Maybe, what was it?”

“A video tape.”

“What was the name written with the sender’s address?”

“I didn’t write one.”

“Uh, huh. I’m going to guess now that there weren’t any labels on
the tape or any notes included?”

“Right. You got the tape I take it.”

“Got it today actually. I walked into the apartment twenty minutes
ago so I haven’t had a chance to look at it. What’s going on?”

“Watch the tape first and I’ll explain it then.”

“I’ve got it in the VCR already, give me a second to play it. How
long does it last?”

“Just a few minutes. Watch it and let me know when you’re done.”

“Ok, hold on.” I wasn’t at all sure what to expect as I watched the
video and I wasn’t quite sure how I felt about it at the end. What
Kirsten had to say in it was something I didn’t expect

The video started out with an overhead shot of a campground with
cabins. The camera then zoomed in on the door of the largest cabin
that had a sign hanging on the door that read “Counselors Only”. The
door opened up and the camera moved upstairs before stopping in
front of another door. The sounds of sex could be heard as a bed
squeaked and a man and woman moaned loudly. The camera suddenly
switched to a side shot of the bed and although the man and woman
were covered in the bedsheets you could make out their motions.

Suddenly the door to the bedroom swung open slamming into the wall
with a loud thud. The couple stopped and the man who was on top
turned to face the source of the noise. Standing in the doorway was
cheesy knockoff of Jason Voorhess with someone dressed up in old
beat up coveralls and a hockey mask.

“What the–” The man barely got two words out before a knife struck
him in the forehead between the eyes.

The woman started screaming hysterically as her partner fell to the
floor dead. “Jason” then stalked towards the female stopping to pull
the knife from the man. The woman screamed again covering her face
as “Jason’s” arm went back and readied itself for the deathblow.

The screen went black and mute. After about five or six seconds of
dark silence the sound of water beating the bottom of a bathtub
slowly became loud and audible. The picture faded into a bathroom
with the camera focused on a bathtub with a shower curtain pulled
shut. Closer and closer the camera zoomed in on the curtain until it
was inches away. Suddenly Kirsten’s wet face and sopping hair popped
out from behind the curtain.

“You know JJ every once in awhile it’s good to get out of the house,
and do things you don’t normally do. I’ve been to your place, how
about you come to mine?” Kirsten said smiling. She blew the camera a
kiss and said, “I’ll be waiting.” The camera then turned to an
overhead shot of the coveralls and hockey mask lying on the bathroom

The screen turned black again then turned to snow. I pushed rewind
on the VCR then hit eject when it was done. As the tape popped out I
grabbed it and sat back on the couch.

“You there?” I asked into the phone.

“Yeah,” Kirsten replied. “The tape finished?”

“Yes it is.”

“And? What did you think?”

“Well… I don’t know what I was expecting, but that was certainly a
bit odd. It was cool, just not something I was expecting to come
from you I guess. Where did you come up with the idea?”

“I was just going to call and ask if you wanted to come visit, but
then I remembered going through your dvd collection when I was
visiting. It cost a penny or two to make, but you seemed to have
gotten a kick out of it. So what do you say?”

“Not to be a smartass, but that’s a bit of a rhetorical question
don’t you think? Besides where are you getting your free time to do
this? I thought you had a movie to film?”

“I did, but that was eight months ago. That one is finished.”

“And the next one begins when?”

“Not for awhile yet. I’ve got a number of scripts I’m looking at,
but I’m going to take some time off for myself. That month and a
half was nice, but I want some time to really unwind.”

“Yeah well, there won’t be the same drama this time like there was
last time… hopefully.”

“Not unless you have enemies in New Jersey.”

“New Jersey? I thought you lived in L.A.?”

“I have homes in both. My parents still live in Jersey so I bought a
home there too. We can go to L.A. if you want.”

“New Jersey’s fine with me. It doesn’t matter one way or the other.
What days did you have in mind?”

“I was thinking the weekend of August 10th. Your birthday’s on the
11th right? And this it’s on a Saturday. Take Friday and Monday off
and we’ll have a four day weekend to spend together.”

“The 10th sounds go– Uh hmm…”

“Hmm what?”

“As much as I’d love to visit I’ve already got plans that weekend.”

“What kind of plans? Can’t you break them?”

“Yeah I suppose I could, since he’d get a kick out of my story if I
ever told him and he believed it… Look my friend Dan is kind of
being dragged to a concert he doesn’t want to go to, and I told I’m
I’d go along to keep him company. I sort of owe him for something.”

“You have a friend finally? It’s great to hear you’re in better
shape now then when we first met.”

“That’s a bit of a cheap shot don’t you think? Besides you’re the
one who likes to hang out with loners.”

“Yeah, I know. I was kidding JJ. So what concert is Dan being forced
to go to that he’s dragging you with him?”

“Avril Lavigne.”

“That reminds me there’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you.
First I wanted to ask why you stopped writing and second why have
you written more stories about her than me?”

“To answer your first question I got complacent and had no real
desire to write stories anymore, and actually I’ve been considering
writing another story here recently though I haven’t come up with
any firm ideas. As for your second question, I’ve written one more
story about her than I have you and if you add up the file sizes of
her three stories compared to your two stories your stories are

“And if you do the same math to the two Michelle Rodriguez stories
your wrote they’re bigger than my two stories.” I started laughing
as I listened to Kirsten talk. “What’s so funny?”

“Look Kirsten,” I began still chuckling “No matter how many stories
or how long a story I write about another celeb, you’ll always be
number one in my book and the only one I oogle and drool all over
myself in complete fanboydom. Feel better?”

“I’m not worried about a thing. We both know there are too many
other guys out for me that’d love to be in your position for me to
worry about your feelings. But I’ll tell you what, I just got an
idea for something that I want to do, so you go the Avril Lavigne
concert with your friend and I’ll call you back later ok?”

“Sure. When do you plan on calling back? I want to know just so I
make sure not to make plans with Avril or Michelle and make you
unnecessarily jealous.”

“I’ll call you a day or two after the concert, and if by some
miracle you can get into Avril’s pant I’ll admit to the god that you
are and do your personal bidding.” Kirsten and I both laughed at the
absurdness our conversation had just taken and when we calmed down
we said our good-byes and hung up the phone.

I could bore you with the details of the week and a half leading up
to Kirsten’s phone call, but there’s not much to say really. It was
the same go to work at eight come home at five and have an hour for
lunch from eleven thirty to twelve thirty. Not that I was a sourpuss
or anything, but people at work had noticed that my mood had changed
and that I was a bit more cheerful than usual for lack of a better

Anyways, like I said the days leading up to that weekend went by
pretty normally. It was on Friday August 10th that things got
decidedly a little nutty. It was almost 10 that night when I found
myself inside of a Taco Bell eating a couple of Frito Burritos. Yes
it’s the same Taco Bell that Sara and I had the fight in nine months
and since I know you’re wondering about it they did get their
drive-thru menu fixed.

The place was more or less deserted which wasn’t that unusual. The
handful of times I had been in the restaurant on a Friday it was
about half-and-half as to whether or not it was crowded. This
particular night I had eaten a large lunch earlier in the day so I
wasn’t hungry until about 9:45. I’m not sure why I chose Taco Bell
to eat at, but from what I’ve learned from life all my great
adventures start there.

I ran into a few people I knew and exchanged some words with them
and I had taken my time eating so with time closing in on 10:25 I
got up and refilled my Pepsi one last time before I ate the last
half of my burrito. With one bite to go I took a swig of my soda and
tossed the last bit of food into my mouth chewing and swallowing it.
I tossed my garbage onto the brown plastic tray and walked to one of
the trashcans. I dumped everything into it and set the tray on top
of it.

I made a stop in the bathroom to empty my bladder. I washed my hands
and once they were dry I removed my carkeys from my pocket and I
started to the outside of the restaurant. As I turned the corner
from the restroom hallway to the doubledoors leading outside I
bumped into a female.

“Hey watch it!” She shouted at me.

“Sorry,” I replied too caught up in my thoughts about tomorrow to
look back at who I was apologizing to.

I pushed the unlock button on my car remote as I got closer to my
red Ford Taurus. The roof lights turned on and I could hear my door
locks click as they shot up. I opened the door and was in the
process of getting in when the Taco Bell doors swung open and
someone came running out.

“Hey! Wait a minute! Don’t leave yet!”

It sounded like the same woman I bumped into on my way out. I sat in
my car waiting for the woman to start bitching up a storm.

“Look I’m sorry for running into you. I’ve got a few things on my
mind at the moment,” I started as I got up. I stopped when I saw who
my hit and run victim was.

“By the look on your face our introductions just got done a little
faster. Are you JJ?”


“Did you ever write any stories as turc443?”

I answered with silence.

“Looks like I have myself a winner.”

“You know what? I’m not even going to bother trying to figure out
anything anymore,” I replied as I held my car keys in my hand and
leaned over the car door. “So what can I do you for Ms. Lavigne?”

“This.” Avril reached back and bitch slapped me across the face.

“Jesus Christ!” I grunted dropping my keys to the ground my left
hand immediately racing to my face to rub it. I bent over to pick up
my keys and Avril’s foot stepped on my hand.

“Uh uh.” She said pressuring my hand. She lifted her foot up enough
to kick away my hand and picked up my keys herself.

“Right about now a normal person would ask what was going on, but
I’m not going to because I know I’ll get an answer akin to some
really bad story.”

“Not that you deserve one, but there’s your answer.”

“What answer? Since you already think so highly of me pretend that
I’m a complete moron if you already don’t think I am and explain it
to me.”

“The bad stories. Despite what you may have heard from time to time
your sex stories on CSSA suck. They’re poorly written with
storylines reminiscent of what a horny thirteen year old would come
up with.”

“I– Ah fuck, forget it. Don’t you have a concert to do tomorrow?
Aren’t your people keeping tabs of you 24/7 or something?”

“Fuck them and fuck you too.”

“If only.”

“Don’t start. Get in the car.”

“How the hell did you find me anyways?” I asked as my car sped out
of the parking lot. Avril was behind the wheel and I was in the
passenger seat. She drove in silence so I asked another question.
“Well then can you at least tell me where we are going?”

“Back to your place. We’ve got things to do.”

“We do? Do you know where you’re going?”

“Yes, now shut up.”

“Fine whatever.”

We drove in silence as we traveled the ten minutes from the Taco
Bell to my apartment. The car was parked in the street where it
normally was and Avril and I got out.

“Ok, we’re here. Can you tell me now what the hell is going on?”

“We wait now.”

“Wait? For what?”

“The others.”

“What others?”

“Let’s get inside.”

“Not until you tell me what the hell is going on.”

“Unless you want what happened in “Late Shift” to really happen
minus the sex then shut up and do as I say.”

“So I’m going to get to bone you then? If that’s the case can you do
me a favor? It’s more of a challenge than a bet, but I need your
panties to prove to a friend what a god I am.” Avril walked around
the car to my side and stood next to me rubbing her body against

“Sure you’re going to get to fuck me good and hard and I’ll even let
you have my panties, but first can you do me a favor?”

“Sure, what is it?” I fell to the ground like a rock as Avril’s fist
crashed into my crotch.

“Get inside,” Avril replied leaving me on the ground as she walked
towards the apartment complex. “You big pussy. Are you going to come
or do I have to come get you?”

“I’m coming,” I stammered as I struggled to my feet my groin still
aching. I led Avril to my apartment and nearly fell flat on my face
as she pushed me in. I regained my balance and walked to kitchen
getting a Bud Light from the fridge. “I suppose I should be
courteous and ask if you want anything to drink?” I said
sarcastically. I turned in time to see the bathroom door slam shut.
“Whatever,” I mumbled setting my beer down on the counter.

I sat down on the couch and flipped the tv to Sports Center to check
baseball scores. Sure enough the curses on the Cubbies and the Red
Sox live on. They both lost again today and are the cellar dwellers
of their respective divisions. The real surprises and destroyers of
fantasy leagues everywhere were the Tampa Bay Devil Rays who
currently sat in first place of their division four games ahead of
the Yankees.

Baseball and fantasy leagues weren’t my real concerns right now. Not
that Avril was a huge concern either, since in a life or death
struggle I’m pretty sure I could hold my own against her, but the
wait for “the others” was a bit of a curiosity factor since Avril
mentioned “Late Shift” and this pseudo-kidnapping was somewhat
reminiscent of that story. Anyways, as I watched tv and didn’t pay
much attention to anything I didn’t hear Avril leave the bathroom or
sit down next to me.

“Hey,” She said poking me with her elbow.

“Can I help you?”

“Do you want to make out until the others get here?”

“Do what?” I asked turning and facing her more surprised by her
sudden mood change and less by the offer.

“I said do you want to make out until the others get here?”

“Let me think about it… Um, no.”

“No? Are you serious?”

“Hmm… Let’s see… There was a bitch slap, then some cussing, then
a kidnapping, then a punch to the groin, then more cussing, and you
won’t tell me what’s going on so yeah I’m serious.”

“Let’s see how serious you are then,” Avril challenged me her hand
resting on my thigh her fingers inching closer and closer to my
crotch. I couldn’t help, but smile as my inevitable erection rose.
Avril unfastened my pants and I lifted my butt up enough so she
could pull my pants and underwear down. My erect penis popped out of
its confinement and swayed from side to side a little bit. “You’re
not too serious about saying no I see,” Avril replied hinting at her
impending victory.

“Don’t flatter yourself hon. Anyone who doesn’t get an erection from
a hot 18-year-old feeling him up is either dead or impotent. I’ll
tell you this though, you’re not going to get me to come short of
riding my cock and I’m not going to let you have that pleasure.”

“We’ll see,” Avril smiled sure of herself as she removed her shoes
and socks.

All she had left on was the trademark white tanktop she wore with
the black bra you could easily see she was wearing underneath it and
an old beat up pair of camouflage pants. This wasn’t a incredibly
sexy look by any means unless you were into the “punk” image, but
the one sexy thing she could do even though she didn’t have the
curves of a Jessica Alba or Jennifer Lopez was shake her ass and it
looked good even in a big baggy pair of pants.

With her hands above her head and her body shaking Avril started to
get dirty for me. I smiled as I watched her body shimmy and bounce
and she returned the smile when our eyes made contact. Avril knew
exactly what she was doing and perhaps I had overestimated myself.
Maybe, she wouldn’t even have to touch me to get me to come. We were
fixing to find out.

Avril dropped her pants and stepped out of them. She sucked on her
right index finger and slid it down her belly into her panties.
Avril’s mouth opened wide and her eyes shut as she moaned pretending
to finger herself. Her right hand slowly found it’s way down inside
of her panties as well and Avril’s moans got louder as she began to rub
both hands up and down between her legs.

“You are good Avril,” I said as I unconsciously began to stroke

“I know,” She whispered back blowing me a kiss before stripping off
her shirt and tossing it in my direction.

“It’s your panties I need to prove I’m a god,” I smiled feeling

“We’ll get to those in a minute,” Avril cooed walking towards me.
She climbed onto the couch straddling my lap with my cock pressed up
against her abdomen.

“I might end up giving you the satisfaction of getting me off,” I
began as Avril lifted my shirt over my head and off my arms, “And if
I am then let’s do it in the comfort of my bedroom.

“No, the couch will be just fine.” Avril said pressing her lips to
mine. As our tongues intertwined and she ran her fingers through my
hair my cock throbbed and I so wanted to lift her up right then and
there, rip her panties off, and give her a good fucking even if that
meant standing up and holding her as her pussy bounced up and down
on my prick.

Our lips parted and a gleam appeared in her eye as if sensing my
urges. Avril reached behind her and unclasped her bra. Her breasts
swelled to life as they were freed from their cotton container. She
stood up on the couch and with her crotch in my face Avril dropped
her panties.

“Don’t lose these,” She said as I removed them from her feet and
tossed them next to my shirt on the floor.

“I won’t,” I replied mumbling softly. Having her pussy completely
shaven didn’t do much to add to my attraction to her, but never the
less having Avril grind and shake it in my face helped my cock get a
little bit closer to erupting. Then a different urge took over me.

Grabbing Avril by her buttocks I darted my tongue into her pussy
spreading the lips apart. She moaned as I worked my tongue up and
down her slit and her right hand slid down back between her legs. I
slowly worked two fingers into her pussy as I continue to run my
tongue over her cuntal lips. As I pressed my fingers in deep I
pushed Avril’s hand away before she could start anything. Avril’s
moans got louder and more passionate as I worked my fingers into a
steady motion and my thumb rubbed over her clit exciting it just the
right way. I could feel my shaft ache and my cockhead yearn for
release as I continued to work over the Canadian popstar’s pussy
with my fingers and tongue.

“Oh shit! You’re supposed to come first!” Avril groaned as her body
neared closer and closer to orgasm.

“Not me Avril! Not me!” I grunted back as I continued to
passionately finger fuck her and wet her pussy lips with my tongue.

“Oh god! Not now! Not now!” Avril cried desperately fighting the
urge to orgasm. Then for some unknown reason I reached behind her
and slapped her ass. “Mmph! I’m coming! Oooooooh yeees!” Avril
squealed as she shook with orgasm. She wasn’t a gusher by any means,
but she did excrete enough girl cum that it covered my fingers and
some even managed to find it’s way onto my face. I pulled my fingers
from her snatch and when she finally seemed to be calm Avril climbed
down off the couch.

“You mind if I have this?” Avril asked as she walked into my

“Have what?” I asked turning to face her.

“You’re Bud Light. It’s not even opened yet.”

“Damn I must have forgotten about it. Sure go ahead.”

Avril popped open the beer and I walked to the bathroom where I
proceeded to wash my hands and face clean of her juice. I walked
back into the living room and put on my underwear with the intention
of redressing.

“What’re you doing?” Avril asked.

“Uh, getting dressed?”

“You can’t until she gets here.”

“She? What happened to ‘the others’?”

“They’re are two others including M who should be dropping by
anytime now. K you’ll get to meet later if she wants you to.”

“Just so you know I hated Men In Black, so stop with the single
letter references please.”

“I can’t explain now. You’ll just have to wait for M to arrive.”

“Again I say whatever, but what the hell happened to your mood
swings. You were threatening all hell on me not too long ago and now
you’re like sexbeast 2020 or something.”

“Sexbeast 2020? What the hell does that mean? Besides we really
didn’t even have sex, you just fingered me.”

“I don’t know what sexbeast 2020 means. It’s just something I
thought of off the top of my head, but it doesn’t matter because you

“I can orgasm a dozen times in an hour if I wanted to. It’s not that
big of a deal, sorry. But as far as answering your question again I
refer you to ‘Late Shift’. I’m not as extreme as that, but you do
pass your first test.”

“Test? What’re you talking about?” I asked as the doorbell rang.

“There’s the second part.”

“One or a dozen times it doesn’t matter. You came and I didn’t. So I
win,” I said smugly putting on my pants. The doorbell rang again and
as I went to answer it I noticed Avril still hadn’t put anything on
as she sat on my couch drinking the beer and watching tv. “You going
to get dressed?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Why not?”

“It’ll be a waste of time. You shouldn’t have put on your pants.” The
doorbell rang again. “Just get the door will you?”

A half-smile covered my face and I just shook my head in disbelief
as I opened the door.

“You must be the great M,” I said inviting Michelle Rodriguez in.
“Let me guess, Avril is A?”

“You’re a smart guy JJ,” Michelle replied as she walked in closing
the door behind her. “I’m sure by now you can guess who K is.”

“I’m pretty sure I can.”

“Hey Michelle, it’s about time you showed up. There’s beer in the
fridge. It’s only Bud Light, but it’s better than nothing.”

I started to open my mouth to protest, but I thought better of it.

“I see you two have already gotten started,” Michelle said.

“Gotten started with what?”

“You’re without a shirt which is on the floor with Avril’s panties
laying next to it. At least I assume they’re her panties. You don’t
wear women’s clothing do you? Not that there’s anything wrong with

“Uh, no. I wear tighty whiteys, Fruit of The Loom to be exact though
I think they just call themselves FTL now.”

“Okay, and speaking of underwear I’m pretty sure you put them and
your pants back on when I rang the doorbell, which Avril might have
told you is a waste of time. None of that really matters though
since she’s sitting on the couch buck naked watching tv and drinking

“It’s hot in here,” Avril shouted from the couch, “besides there
wasn’t any penetration so we didn’t do anything.”

“No sex huh? I would’ve figured you would have jumped on the chance
when she offered.”

“Perhaps I would have if she hadn’t punch me in the nads earlier.
Anyway she was all high and mighty in saying she could get me to
come, but all it took for her was a few fingers and some tongue.”

“I can orgasm a dozen times in an hour if I wanted to,” Avril and I
said at the same time.

“I know that, but you did and I didn’t and I still win regardless.”

“I’d like to see you do it again,” Avril said almost like a
challenge as she got up from the couch and threw away her empty beer

“Yah, bring it on ya hoser,” I replied in my crappiest stereotypical
Canadian accent. “Maybe we could play some Alanis Morissette or
Barenaked Ladies as we did it. Oh oh! What about some Bryan Adams?”

“You think that’s funny? That’s about as ignorant and stupid I’ve
heard anyone get,” Avril glared her face suddenly turning serious. I
couldn’t help, but laugh as this tiny 18-year-old stood nude in
front of me looking all pissed off.

“Ok, ok, let’s calm down kids. Kirsten was right about you JJ. You
certainly do know how to push people’s buttons when you want. Do you
have any playing cards? I bought some when I landed, but I left them
in my hotel room.”

“Yeah I do, just a sec.” I walked back into the kitchen grabbing
another beer from the fridge, then I opened up a junk drawer of
sorts that I kept all sorts of miscellaneous crap in and took out
one of my decks of cards. “What do you need these for?” I asked.

“JJ put your shirt on and Avril get dressed and let’s set down at
the table.”

I tossed the box of cards onto the table and grabbed my shirt off
the floor putting it back on.

“You can have these back if you earn them,” Avril said as I tossed
her her panties and she put them on.

“At this point I don’t think I’ll need them,” I replied.

Once everyone was dressed the three of us sat down at the table each
taking a different side. Avril leaned over and whispered something
in Michelle’s ear and she returned the favor. They both giggled to
themselves and it didn’t take a genius to figure out what was

“Now before we begin and anyone says anything,” I started as I took
a couple of large drinks of my Bud Light, “Can either of you tell me
what is going on or do I have to pretend to be ignorant and wait
until I talk to Kirsten, I mean K, again?”

“Did you really punch him in the crotch? Oh and by the way JJ, nads
is such a third grade term.”

“Yes I did,” Avril replied shrugging her shoulders like she didn’t
mean it.

“Damn, that must have hurt.”

“Yeah it kind of did,” I replied sarcastically.

“Don’t be an ass,” Michelle said shooting me a look.

“Let’s give you a set of balls and have someone punch them. Then
let’s see how great you feel afterwards.”

“Look JJ, I’m sorry for punching you in the crotch and I’m sorry for
bitch slapping you at Taco Bell, but Kirsten told me how you were
sometimes and I figured it’d be the quickest way to get us back

“Damn girl, you bitch-slapped him too? I should have come down here
myself and taken care of things. You didn’t treat Joe this badly did


“Before we say anything you’ve got to swear you won’t let Kirsten
know we told you any of this. She’s got this big surprise or
something planned out. Tomorrow’s your birthday isn’t it?” Avril


“I don’t know what Avril’s said to you tonight, but you’re familiar
with a site called CSSA aren’t you?”


“I was in New York last week and ran into Kirsten at the MTV
studios. She basically said she had a good friend of hers who had a
birthday coming up and she wanted me to do her favor. I wasn’t too
keen on the idea, but she went on and on about how great you were
how life had been little rough and all that so I agreed to at least
give it some thought. I thought I was crazy for doing so, but if
Kirsten was giving you the ok then how bad could you be I thought.
That and her story of your weekend together helped nudge me towards

“So how does Avril fit into all of this and who’s Joe?”

“Do you know who voodoojoe is?” Avril asked.

“Yeah, he’s an author at CSSA. I’ve read most of his stuff.”

“Well, I was playing a show in Portland awhile back and I meet him
after the show. To make a long story short let’s just say we had a
good time and now I’m working to get something with me, him, and
Elisha Cuthbert worked out. It’s just a matter of finding some time
when all three of us are free.”

“Ah yes, I’ve read that story and needless to say I know he’d
appreciate it very much, but how does any of that work into
tonight?” I asked as Michelle’s cell phone rang and she answered it.

“Basically Kirsten called me after Joe’s story was posted, and
seeing that I had the same pleasant experience with him that she did
with you she asked me to talk to Michelle figuring that hearing
about one more good experience was all that she needed to hear which
was true.”

“So where’s Kirsten then?”

“That was her just now,” Michelle said as she hung up her phone.

“And?” I asked.

“Something’s come up and she can’t make it this weekend let alone

“So what now? This whole thing was put together by her,” Avril

Michelle and Avril scooted their chairs in close to each other and
started whispering to each other. I shook my head just a bit as I
only imagined what they were talking about. I finished down the last
of my beer and threw the bottle away before heading towards the

“While you two talk, I’m going to use the bathroom,” I said before
closing the door behind me. I looked at the clock in the bathroom as
I finished my business and washed my hands. I hadn’t done much
tonight, but it was almost midnight already. I dried my hands and
stepped out of the bathroom. Avril looked up from where she sat on
the couch and got up when she saw me.

“Look, about tonight JJ… I’m sorry about getting a little rough
and treating you the way I did.”

“Don’t worry about it, it’s water under the bridge,” I replied.

“Good then. Michelle and I discussed it for a bit while you were in
the bathroom and we have something we want to say,” Avril said
smiling pulling me by my hands towards the bedroom.

“And that is?” I asked as the two of us entered my bedroom. I smiled
broadly as Michelle sat on my bed with her legs crossed leaning back
on her arms wearing nothing but her panties and bra.

“When she called awhile ago Kirsten apologized for not making it
here,” Michelle began, “and she even went so far as to say that
Avril and I could leave if we wanted since she’s the one who put
this together.”

“And you two stayed because?”

“Well,” Avril said as she squatted down in front of me unbuttoning
my pants and pulling them down. “I’m going to be in town tomorrow
anyways since I’ve got a show to do, and Michelle was already here
so why not make the most of it. It’s unfortunate that Kirsten isn’t
here, but we’ll survive on our own don’t you think?”

“I think we can,” I smiled as I stepped from my clothing and dropped
my shirt to the floor.

As Avril stripped off her clothing I walked towards the bed eyeing
Michelle. Our faces exchanged lustful stares as she removed her bra
and I slid her panties down her legs. Michelle’s and my lips met and
my hands found their way down to her breasts. She moaned as I
started squeeze and fondle them in my hands. Michelle groaned again
as I flicked my tongue across her nipples. Suddenly I could feel
breathing on my balls and I looked back as Avril started to lick
Michelle’s pussy.

I nodded towards Michelle’s face and Avril smiled and winked at me
as she got up and climbed onto the bed. With Avril now thrusting her
twat into Michelle’s face I took her place between Michelle’s legs.
I slid my tongue up and down Michelle’s slit occasionally running my
thumb over her clit to excite her more. Michelle moaned with each
pass of my thumb and Avril was feeling the effects of her pleasure.

Avril began to grunt softly as Michelle inserted two fingers into
her cunt. I thought about sliding my fingers into Michelle but
decided on something else. Standing up I pulled Michelle’s legs
apart and slowly worked my cock into her pussy. She began to moan
again as I pushed in and out of her folds and her fingers shot into
a new frenzy as she excitedly pressed them into Avril’s privates.

One hand on Michelle’s leg I reached around Avril with my free one
and fondled her left breast. I continued to thrust my prick hard
into Michelle’s snatch and my hand that was on Avril’s chest slipped
when Michelle’s body suddenly bucked. I pulled out as I felt her cum
start to slowly leak out. I didn’t want to come just yet.

I switched places with Michelle and laid down on my back. She
straddled my face and as I started to lick the cream from her vagina
my body bucked just a bit when Avril wrapped her lips around the
base of my cock. I felt her lips slowly rise up and down on my shaft
applying the slightest of pressure. The excitement Avril gave me
caused me to give that much back to Michelle. Not that eating her
pussy out wasn’t enough for me, but squeezing and holding Michelle’s
ass in my hands gave me the ultimate thrill. I’ve been a butt person
all of my life and it was always my favorite part of the female body
to look at.

My balls started to hurt and I was really starting to want to come
as Avril’s lips were replaced by her pussy and my cock dove deep
down into her warm wet darkness. Avril started to ride me hard
grinding her hips into my crotch. I nearly lost myself as she
knocked my hands out of the way and Michelle groaned loudly. Avril
had spread Michelle’s ass apart and was now dipping her tongue into
her asshole lubing it up with her saliva.

“Oh god Avril! Lick my asshole!” Michelle cried. “Ooooooooh myyyy!”

As my cock continued to split Avril’s cuntal lips apart as she
bounced up and down on me I couldn’t help but reserve myself to
orgasm as my body neared the final stages of it’s excitement. Then
just as suddenly as it happened on the couch Avril orgasmed on the

“Not again!” Avril whined as she sat on my dick her cream exiting
her body covering my dick.

“My asshole, some please eat out my ass!” Michelle begged as Avril
got off me and stood up on the floor.

“I’ll do you one better Michelle,” I said as lifted her leg up
enough for me to crawl out from beneath her. “You just have to do
one thing for me, eat out Avril’s ass while I give you what you

“Anything… Just give it to me…” Michelle whispered breathlessly.

Avril was the first to crawl to her knees on her bed and before
Michelle could even get to work on her she was already sliding her
fingers in and out of her lovehole. Damn Avril was one horny gal
when she got into the mood. Michelle followed behind Avril getting
on all fours. My cock throbbed as I watched Michelle’s tongue dive
into the Canadian’s ass. Avril moaned and continued to finger
herself as the tongue slid up and down her ass crack pushing lightly

“JJ my ass… Please you promised me…” Michelle pleaded as she
started to get restless.

“Patience Michelle. It’s coming,” I said as I rubbed my hands up and
down both sides of her ass. With Avril’s cum still covering my prick
I was more than lubed up enough as I pressed the tip of my cock to
Michelle’s anus.

“Oh my… It– Ooooooooh my god!” Michelle groaned loudly as my dick
slowly pushed inside her ass.

“A girl who likes a little anal I see,” I said as I slowly withdrew
from Michelle’s rear. “Not too different than Kirsten. You like it
in the ass don’t you Michelle? When you’re alone you stick your sex
toys into your butt don’t you?”

“I love sticking things in my ass! Slam your cock back into it!
Please!” She begged.

“Anything for you Michelle, but only if you do one more thing for

“What is it? Name it…”

“Get Avril to let you finger her ass.”

“Can I Avril? Please?”

“Yes Michelle, just stop teasing my asshole like you are. Give it
your full attention or let me be. I can’t take too much teasing.”
Avril grunted and groaned as she continued to thrust her fingers in
and out of her snatch.

Michelle licked her right index finger up and down several times and
as it moved towards Avril’s sphincter I gave Michelle’s back end a
pop. Michelle squealed with delight and excitedly punctured her
finger into Avril’s sphincter as she felt me fill up her own. Here I
was pushing my dick in and out of Michelle Rodriguez’ ass as she
slipped her finger into Avril Lavigne’s ass.

As my pace steadily increased so did that of Michelle’s fingering
and the girls’ moans got increasingly louder. My thoughts raced back
to nine months ago to my first and only meeting with Kirsten. Now as
I thrust my cock in and out of Michelle’s anus I was reminded of the
time I had anal sex with Kirsten after she suggested it. Short of
killing someone Kirsten would always come first in my book, but the
pleasure I got from anally penetrating Michelle was almost as great
as it was with Kirsten. I don’t know, there was just something more
I got from it than from regular vaginal sex.

Either way, I got caught up in my own impending orgasm. The more my
dick ached and throbbed yearning for release the harder I pounded
Michelle’s ass and the more I tore into her ass the more I wanted to
come. Then as I pushed into Michelle’s backside one more time I lost
control and I grunted loudly. I wasn’t sure if I said anything or
made random noises, but that didn’t matter as my cock burst open
firing shot after shot of my hot white jism into her bowels

After I emptied my rounds I fell to my side on the already crowded
bed. Presumably nearing her own orgasm Michelle began to furiously
dig and push her finger into Avril’s sphincter. With her head on one
of her arms on the bed and the other arm pushing her fingers in and
out of her cunt, Avril’s moaning and screaming became intense and
loud. Just as Michelle was about to pull out her finger Avril’s ass
tightened down on it.

“Coming… again… oh God…” Avril screamed as orgasm rocked her
body for the third time of the night. She pulled her fingers from
her snatch and when Michelle’s finger was loose enough to pull out
Avril turned onto her back and laid on the bed.

We both watched Michelle as she remained on all fours and started to
finger her pussy. Avril kissed her on the lips slipping her tongue
into Michelle’s mouth. When their heads pulled apart Avril brought
her cum soaked fingers to Michelle’s mouth and slipped them between
her lips. Worn but not exhausted I smiled as Michelle happily sucked
on Avril’s fingers, then I got an idea to finish Michelle off. As
Avril slid her fingers from Michelle’s mouth I notice that
Michelle’s asshole was still pulsing and enlarged. I quickly dabbed
my index and middle finger inside twisting them around. Michelle
moaned as she orgasmed a second time. She became quite the gusher
the second time around and not that I wasn’t going to, but the mess
she made this time confirmed a need to wash these bedsheets. The
three of us just laid quietly on the bed for a bit as we recomposed

Avril was the first to get up. “I should be getting back to the
hotel and getting some sleep before my show today. You might if I
take a quick shower JJ?”

“Not at all. Towels are in the bathroom.”


As Avril showered Michelle and I sat up on the bed and talked.

“When she gets done in there I’m going to take a quick one too. I’m
going to drive her back to the hotel since we’re both staying at the
same one.”

“Didn’t she leave her car at the Taco Bell?”

“Nah, she took a cab to it.”

“How did she know to find me there anyways?”

“Kirsten gave us a list of a few places to look if you weren’t home
and I guess that’s what she did. I was stuck in Florida and didn’t
arrive her until literally half an hour before I came to your

“So what’s to be made of all this?” I asked.

“Nothing really. Avril’s done this before and came here tonight as a
favor to Kirsten. As for me I’m not sure what to make of this
myself. I’ll just use the same generic reason that Kirsten probably
did and say that even us celebrities have our wild sides we like to
walk on from time to time.”

“I’m done. You going to shower Michelle?” Avril asked stepping from
the bathroom.

“Yeah I am.”

As Michelle walked into the bathroom to take her turn Avril picked
her clothes up off the floor and sat down next to me after dressing.

“I know I’ve already said this before, but I’m sorry about the way I
acted earlier tonight JJ.”

“Look, don’t worry about it. It’s no big deal. I was wondering about
something though. I know about your encounter with voodoojoe and I
know you’re familiar with Kirsten’s and my encounter, which is part
of the reason why you showed up tonight, but why meet up with
another author from CSSA? Why do it again?”

“Because you wrote the first two stories about me that got published
on the site.”

“And that’s it?”

“Yeah that’s it, but I was wondering about something myself. Why did
you quit writing and have all your stories marked as Anonymous?”

“Mostly because I lost my desire to write for quite awhile. I just
didn’t feel like it anymore and I had decided to leave the site for
about the five millionth time. Actually though, a couple of weeks
ago before Kirsten called I had thought about writing again.

“You know tonight would make a real easy story to write.”

“I know but I haven’t decided if I wanted to do that or come up with
something original.”

“Well whatever you decide, let me know,” Avril said taking a pen and
old credit card receipt from my chester drawers and writing on the
back of the paper. “Here’s my e-mail address. This is my own
personal one I check and not the fanclub one everyone sends mail to.
If this finds it’s way on the internet I’ll come back and really
will pull a ‘Late Shift’ on you minus the sex.”

“You know you were absolutely adorable just now when you tried to
threaten me. Don’t worry though, I’m not that big of a dumbass.”

“I didn’t say you were,” Avril smiled pecking me on the cheek.

“You ready to go?” Michelle asked exiting the bathroom.

“Ready whenever you are,” Avril replied.

“Ok give me a few minutes to dress and we’ll go.”

“Hey look before we go from what Kirsten told me you were being
dragged to my concert to tonight by one of your friends right?”

“Yeah his girlfriend wants to go pretty bad and he doesn’t. I rarely
go to any concerts so I wasn’t planning on going, but since he
bought the ticket for me and the first two beers I figured why not.”

“Well you can impress him tonight when you show up at will call and
pick up three front row tickets ok?”

“Sure thing. Thanks.”

“And Happy Birthday JJ,” Avril said smiling as she kissed me on the
cheek again.

“Happy Birthday and take care of yourself,” Michelle smiled
following Avril’s lead kissing me on the cheek as well. We exchanged
good-byes and after Michelle and Avril left my apartment I ducked
into the shower for a quick shower before heading off to sleep at
almost 1 a.m.

Not surprisingly Dan was indeed thoroughly impressed at my ability
to obtain front row seats. Jennifer nearly blew a gasket when she
saw how close we were to the stage. They bugged me all night about
where I got the tickets and all I could tell them was “I know
people.” As for the concert itself it was fairly good. Like I told
Avril I rarely go to concerts so I had nothing to judge it against,
but all in all it was a fairly pleasant experience save for the
twelve year olds screaming their heads off at every word Avril had
to say and singing along to every song. The highlight of the show
though was when Avril finished introducing her band after playing
“Nobody’s Fool” and thanked her good friend “Jay” for helping her to
stay relaxed and down to earth during the tour. I smiled to myself
as she looked in my direction as she gave the thanks.

The next day I woke up like around 9:30 like I usually do and
checked my answering machine just in case. The day passed by slowly
as I eagerly waited for Kirsten’s phone call. I ended up taking
Avril’s advice and using the events of the weekend to base my
“comeback” story around. The story ended up coming out quite easily
and I spent a couple of hours working on it before I realized it was
almost ten o’clock. There were a few questions I would have liked to
have asked, but Kirsten still hadn’t called yet. She was a celebrity
after all and it just wasn’t meant to be this time.

So accepting the fact that she wasn’t going to call I brushed my
teeth and went to be early. There was a major order that was going
to be coming through at work and would take a couple of days to
completely process so I was going to be going in early until it was
finished. I rarely ever get to sleep early when I try to, but this
time I fell asleep relatively quickly.

A few hours later the incessant ringing of my phone wakened me. I
dragged myself from bed and stumbled in the dark as I tried to
navigate my apartment half-asleep in the pitch-black. I found the
lightswitch on the wall by mistake and flipped on the light. I made
it to the kitchen from there with relative ease and took my cordless
off its stand.

“This better be good. It’s almost three in the morning,” I mumbled
still very much asleep barely able to make out the time off a clock.

“Hey JJ it’s me.”

“Hey Kirsten what’s up? What happened to you this weekend?”

“This weekend?”

“Yeah with Michelle and Avril.”

“I’m not following. What about them?”

“After you called late Friday night and said you weren’t coming in
they explained what was going on.”

“Damn it! They’re weren’t supposed to say a thing!” Kirsten

“I kept pestering them about everything and you know how I can get.”

“Yes, but still I had this all worked out and it would have worked a
lot better if they hadn’t said a thing.”

“One way or the other, it doesn’t matter to me. I would just have
happily spent this weekend with only you. You didn’t need to talk
Michelle and Avril into coming down here, but a definite thank you
none the less. You do realize of course that Avril will still have
more stories than you and so will Michelle now.”

“Can you take some time off in a couple of weeks?”

“I can take time off whenever, I just need at least a week in
advance. They get pretty anal retentive about that sort of thing.”

“Good then. Don’t worry about the number of stories. It doesn’t
matter. Anyay, I don’t want to get into detail and bore you to death
with what happened, but basically there was a big fight between my
agent and publicist and both threatened to quit if the other stayed
so I had to play referee and calm things down. Things still aren’t
peachy, but they’re ok for now. Anyway, since I missed your birthday
I want to make it up for you. On the weekend of August 31 I want you
to take that Friday through Monday off. That’s the 31st of August to
the 3rd of September. Does that sound ok?”

“Yeah that shouldn’t be a problem at all.”

“Good, I’m looking forward to that weekend then. I’ll call you about
a week before ok? You won’t be disappointed.”

“I’m looking forward to that weekend too, and there’s very little
you can do to disappoint me.”

“You’re way too easy on me JJ.”

“As you are on me.”

“Well, I’m gonna go then so you can get back to sleep. Talk to you
later.” Kirsten made a kissing sound over the phone.

“Talk to you later then.”

“Bye,” we said in unison before hanging up the phone.

This friends is where I’ll end this part of the story. For those of
you who made it all the way through congratulations. Take this story
for what you will and later on when you read the last half of this
tale remember this all happened because of a little site called CSSA
that now hosts over 2800 stories. Until then I bid you all a fond
farewell and point you to the site for other great stories mostly
ones better written than this.

To be concluded in my third and final venture into the CSSA universe
and my apologies to a certain Joe if they didn’t like being
referenced to in my story.

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