Brave New Interviewer Entry 4
A McBeal Meal
Don’t read this if you’re under 18 and don’t try this at home.
I live alone, in a comfortable home in a nice neighborhood and,
unlike many in L.A., I
don’t bother with an unlisted number. I interview celebrities, I’m
not one myself. So, if anyone has
a mind to it, they can pretty much find me easily. Not that many do.
The few controllers I
with usually meet in a public place and I’m really more of
a loner. So, I was somewhat
surprised to hear a knock on my door in the middle of a Sunday
afternoon. It was a day off for
me, with nothing major planned besides my laundry and catching up on
my reading. I was dressed
in a casual pair of jeans and a shirt as I walked over to answer the
Opening it added to my surprises as I saw Calista Flockhart
standing on my doorstep. I
took a moment to admire the nice light tan suit she wore in the
brief moment before her fist came
rocketing straight into my face. A punch from a woman that size
shouldn’t hurt too bad, right?
Think again. I was stunned, more from the fact that Ally McBeal was
punching me, than by the
actual blow. As I stood there, Calista hauled back and kicked me in
the gut and I learned that all
that kick-boxing stuff her character does isn’t just for show. I
landed on my ass just past the
doorway, allowing her to push her way inside my home and glare at
I took a moment to get my breath back before speaking. "Don’t
tell me. A new FOX
special? ‘When Stars Attack?’" A lame joke, yes, but I was
concentrating more on breathing than
my sense of humor.
Calista held up a large newspaper with her picture on the
front. "You lied to me!"
"What? When? How?"
"That interview last week? You never said who you were working
"Yes, I did! A little L.A. entertainment magazine. They
contacted me, I do free-lance, it
worked out. It was supposed to be a little fluff piece, you know,
flesh out star personalities."
"Oh, flesh paid a big part in it, believe me!" Calista said,
throwing the paper down.
Looking at it, I could see that it was a local tabloid with the
headline "Calista Confesses!" Before
I could react to it anymore, Calista was kicking at me again,
ignoring my cries to hold off. I
suspect she had picked out the shoes especially for this task,
because the kicks really hurt. I
immediately began to crawl across the floor, trying to escape this
madwoman who followed me,
kicking me in the ass and screaming obscenities. I imagine it was a
funny sight, but at the time, I
was more concerned with my survival.
I managed to make it to a nearby table, where I had left one of
my special "charms" in
place, not so much because I had planned to use it, but merely for
decoration. I thanked my
creative urge as I reached up and yanked it down off the table. It
was a bright green medallion
attached to a chain. I held it up by the chain and let the medallion
swing before me. It instantly
caught Calista’s attention, as it was designed to and my own
abilities did the rest.
"Look at the medallion, Calista," I said in a commanding tone.
"Look at the medallion.
Watch it swing, side to side, side to side. Look at the medallion,
Calista and you know you don’t
want to hurt me. You don’t want to hurt me, Calista, you’re not
angry with me. Watch the
medallion swing, side to side, side to side, and you can feel the
anger flowing out of you. Let the
anger flow out of you, Calista, let it empty out of you, let it all
leave you. Let the anger leave you,
Calista, you don’t want to be angry anymore, you can’t be angry
anymore, Calista, you feel much
too sleepy to be angry. That’s right, Calista, you feel much too
"Sleepy….But…I don’t….want…." Calista’s face was in
confusion, her previously enraged
features becoming more relaxed. I was giving her as much mental
"push" as I could. I usually
prefer to take my time, watch my beautiful subjects fall under but
this was an extreme situation.
"Yes, Calista, you feel sleepy. Very, very sleepy, so very sleepy,
Calista. You can’t keep your
eyes open anymore, you’re so sleepy. You want to sleep, Calista,
close your eyes and sleep.
I watched as Calista’s face fell forward, her eyes shutting. I
dragged myself up and walked
back towards the door, leaving her standing there. I picked up the
tabloid and read the article.
Within minutes, I was as angry as Calista was. All my quotes were
taken completely out of
context and various facts were made up to make Calista sound like a
domineering woman who cared for nothing but herself. Okay, that’s
not too rare in Hollywood,
but the Calista I had interviewed was a kind, generous, funny woman
who had only good things
to say. It took me a few minutes to calm down from the rage I felt.
The assholes who ripped me
off could wait. Right now, I had to deal with Calista.
I walked back to where she still stood, deep in a trance. I
leaned forward and softly spoke
to her. "Calista, listen to me. When I touch your forehead, you will
awaken. You will not
remember seeing the medallion or being asleep. You will know that I
did not intend to write this
interview this way. I was lied to and my work was misused. You will
understand that and act
accordingly." With that, I touched her forehead, waking her.
Her eyes blinked open and focused on me. "Oh, God," she
whispered, her face crumbling.
"I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I don’t know what came over me, I didn’t
mean to do this, really, I’m
sorry." She began to cry, moving towards the sofa, collapsing on it,
sobbing softly. This wasn’t
exactly what I’d expected. Apologetic, yes, guilt-ridden, no. I
walked to the couch and sat down
next to her, offering her a handy Kleenex. She took it and blew her
"Thanks," she said between blows. "I really am sorry, I
shouldn’t have done this. It’s just,
I read that article and I felt so mad, so angry and I just put it
all on you."
"It’s all right," I replied. "Believe me, from what I could
see, it pissed me off, too. Trust
me, somebody’s going to have a new asshole by the time I’m through.
I honestly thought I was
doing a normal interview."
"It’s not your fault," Calista said, shaking her head. "God, I
hate this. I just hate it! It was
bad enough when I was the poster child for the death of feminism but
it’s been worse ever since
that weight crap started. I don’t starve myself, I eat light, I
exercise, I don’t try to make my body
an example to others. You know, there were thin people in Hollywood
way before me, yet I’m
the one who’s in every ‘Tonight Show’ monologue. God, why is that?"
"It’s Hollywood," I shrugged. "When you’re famous, you become a
target for the public
who likes to believe they deserve to know everything about you."
"Well, it sucks," Calista said. "And do you have any idea what
this does to my social life?
Between being the star of a show and the butt of every cheap joke, I
haven’t been laid in months."
She suddenly shut her mouth and looked at me. "Oh, God, I don’t know
why I just said that."
"Don’t worry, I’m off duty," I smiled. "You’d be surprised how
common a feeling like
that is among the Hollywood elite."
"Well, that doesn’t make it better," Calista said. "I really
need something to get my mind
off all this."
"Why not this?" I said, holding the medallion before her eyes.
Instantly, her face relaxed as
her eyes tracked its movements. "Sleep, Calista." I watched as her
eyes closed and she fell back
on the couch. I took a moment to look at her, her face calm in
sleep, her brown hair flowing
behind her. I decided to take advantage of this situation, to
provide something that would
pleasure not just me, but Calista as well. Besides, for the
ass-kicking she just gave me, I think she
owed me something.
"Calista, listen to me carefully. When I wake you up, you will
not remember being asleep.
You will feel close to me upon awakening, very close. You will feel
all the pressures and worries
within you and you will want to rid yourself of them as quickly as
possible. You need to be with
someone, Calista. You need to be with me."
"Yes, Calista, me. You will want to make love to me, badly,
very badly. You want to lose
yourself in passion with me and forget all about your worries and
problems. When I touch your
head and awaken you, you will feel the desire build instantly and
will want to unleash it as soon as
possible." I touched her head and watched her eyes flutter open. She
looked at me and smiled.
"You know," she said in soft voice. "You’re a nice guy."
"Don’t be so sure," I smiled. "I have a bad side."
"Everyone has a bad side," Calista said. "Wanna see mine?" With
that, she moved forward
and kissed me hard on the lips, harder than I expected. She pushed
herself onto me, her tongue
probing within my mouth as she ran her hands down to my ass,
squeezing my cheeks. I was taken
aback by her passion, but didn’t really mind it as I kissed her back
with equal passion. We made
our way up the stairs, tearing each other’s clothes off as we went,
leaving a trail of clothing along
the steps and to my bedroom.
I lay her on the bed and took a moment to admire her body. I
know, you’re thinking skin
and bones, right? Wrong. She may not be supermodel material, but
this is one attractive woman.
Her pert breasts were tight, the nipples hard and the snatch between
her famous legs was begging
for my touch. I answered it, moving down and pushing my face into
Calista’s pussy, my tongue
tickling her lips as I prepared myself. I felt Calista moan, then
felt her legs wrap around my head,
holding me in close. "Eat me out," I heard her whisper. "Come on,
eat me, baby." I was only to
happy to oblige, beginning to lick at her womanhood in earnest, my
tongue lashing within her.
I’ve always felt eating pussy is underrated, especially among
my kind. A lot of my male
controller friends are too anxious to get their cock inside one
orifice or another. While I agree
that it feels good to work your way into a gorgeous woman, there is
nothing that can turn her on
like a good clit licking. I had adapted myself into something of a
master, as could be evidenced by
Calista’s growing moans, her thighs clamped around my head as I
probed deeper within her.
When she came, I could feel my tongue ignite with sweet juices, her
passion seeming to make the
cum taste all the better.
I licked it all away, too happy to give the actress some great
pleasure. I felt her pull me up
and came face to face with her smiling features. "That was great,"
she whispered. "But now, I
want some serious fucking."
"Well, it’s no car wash, but I’ll do my best," I grinned as I
slid my shaft into her pussy. I
began to pump her gently, working my way into her, my cock sliding
in and out of her clit. She
moaned and worked against me, rotating her pelvis to match my
thrusts, her hands running up my
body. I let one hand brace myself against the bed and let the other
run against her breasts, rubbing
each pert tit, bringing more excitement into her moans. She pulled
me tightly towards her, urging
me to go harder and faster. I was only too happy to oblige, my cock
ready to explode within her,
the idea that she wanted this turning me on even more. I let myself
go and we orgasmed together,
her voice achieving a high-pitched shriek that seemed unbelievably
sexy as I collapsed onto her.
After a few hours, we lay together, sheets wrapped around us as
we recovered. "Thank
you," Calista said. "I needed this. I really did."
"It’s nice to be appreciated," I said, reaching over towards
the medallion, ready to put her
under and have her forget everything. I stopped when I heard her
"You know, I’d like to see you again."
I glanced over at her, honestly surprised. "You would?"
Calista looked back. "It’s nice to be treated like a woman
instead of a celebrity. And it’s
nice to meet someone who actually seems to care about who he hurts."
"I don’t know. I mean, the media gets ahold of this—-"
"And you get to be famous," she smiled. "You mind?"
I shook my head. "You’re not turning this into something
serious, are you?"
She rolled her eyes. "I’m not Ally. I don’t expect a man to
love me forever because he
sleeps with me. But I like you. And you’re damn good in the sack.
Put it together and I think we
can have a good friendship."
"With some special moments?"
"You have a problem with that?"
"Not really," I answered."
"Good. Then lie down, friend, and get ready for a ride." As she
shifted herself onto my
cock, I could only lie back in amazement. I had a star who wanted to
be with me not because of
programming but because she wanted to. She may not be the most
glamorous or beautiful but she
is unique in my book. As she began to shift on me, I wondered how
good her legal knowledge
was. It’d be nice to see how many states some of the acts I had in