Britney Meets GWAR

Title: Britney Meets GWAR

Author: Alx Orange

Codes: sick, fant, viol, ws, tort, rape, beast+F, first, oral, anal, mutil, snuff, necro, vore, scat

Celebs: Britney Spears, GWAR

Disclaimer: This wacko rock and roll parody was written back in December of 1999. I love Britney, GWAR and Alice for that matter, and no disrespect is meant to them. This story is just the sort of music video I guess I’d like to see sometime. In the words of GirlsSchool, “Yeah right.” The sex, violence and gross-out factors are as high here as in anything I’ve written, so back up now if you’re easily
offended. Also, I should thank the Amazing Melinda for one illusion used in this story which I originally saw her do on a television magic show.

Britney Meets GWAR


The legend of GWAR began millions of years ago when these aliens rampaged across the galaxy with a gang of space pirates called the Scumdogs of the Universe. After falling out of favour with their Master, GWAR were imprisoned on the most remote mudball planet in the universe… Earth. GWAR began to significantly influence the development of the planet. They killed off the dinosaurs and inadvertently created the human species by raping prehistoric apes. After one particularly wild gig in Atlantis (yes, the land that was mysteriously lost!) it was decided that GWAR should be entombed in Antarctica to prevent them from further screwing up the Earth.

Several thousand years later GWAR were accidentally stumbled upon and awakened by Sleazy P. Martini, a known pimp, pusher, pornographer and record business executive for Capitalist Records. Sleazy P. took them to New York, gave them electric guitars and began to market them as his latest rock ‘n’ roll sensation. Soon the only way to truly validate one’s life before death was to join the masses of “lowly zit-ridden scum of outcast prepubesence” in the Slave Pit when GWAR came to ravish and bloody one’s mutant town.

But in 1999 came a challenge to GWAR’s appetite for world domination. To the Earth came a saviour in the person of a lowly teenage girl from a tiny town in Louisiana. Born a Baptist, the young girl studied at the Professional Performing Arts School in New York and quickly graduated to the “Mickey Mouse Club.” Sleazy P. followed the young oracle’s meteoric rise after one of his talent scouts reported that he had “never seen such an icky sweet, lobotomized piece of ass.” Much to his dismay and disbelief the Lass from Louisiana took the world by storm, capturing the fancy of the mindless masses with her empty, robotic dance and pop music stylings.

Britney was becoming exactly the sort of superheroine who could challenge the power of GWAR. Usually thick as flies around fresh road kill, the numbers of the slaves in the Pit were already beginning to dwindle and Sleazy P. realized that something had to be done quickly. Britney was about to return from a mission to Europe which had earned her many more new converts, but Sleazy P. had a plan. GWAR’s Xmas Slaughter Tour would open on December 2, 1999 with a surprise birthday party for bitch Britney, and this titanic confrontation would decide the fate of the Earth for the next millenium…

Britney was performing for a sea of her fans to celebrate her eighteenth birthday. She wore white boots, hip huggers, and an open midriff top tight enough to show off the nipples on Britney’s spheres. GWAR crashed the party and charged the stage as Britney was singing, “Hit me baby one more time.” Slymenstra Hymen did exactly that, kicking Britney in the crotch. As Britney bent over, clutching herself, Slymenstra kicked her in the head. Britney sprawled across the stage floor.

The rest of the mutants quickly secured the stage area, celebrating their easy victory with some thrashing metal. The Scumdogs were so consumed with their show that they failed to notice as Britney got to her feet and approached Slymenstra from behind. Britney tapped Slymenstra on the shoulder. As Slymenstra turned around a big roundhouse kick sent her flying. Slymenstra crashed into a stack of amps which collapsed around her. Sparks flew and limbs convulsed as electrical current fried the female mutant’s flesh.

Flattus Maximus grabbed Britney from behind. She nearly passed out from the smell of him before flipping him to the floor. As he hit the floor he clouded the air with a fart of biblical proportions. Trying to hold her breath, Britney crawled away on hands and knees. The Sexecutioner jerked Britney up by her hair and held her as Beefcake the Mighty manipulated his wart studded pleasure nub like a firehose, spraying Britney with a high-pressure stream of warm urine. Inspired, the Sexecutioner began to ejaculate all over Britney’s backside. Britney was soon soaked and her tight white clothes clung obscenely like a second skin.

But Britney was a superheroine and would not go down easily. She nailed Beefcake in the nads with a vicious snap kick, then spun around and did the same to the Sexecutioner. Both Scumdogs crumpled to the floor clutching their mutanthood.

Now Britney went after the mutant’s perceived leader, Oderus Urungus. She threw a right. He caught her tiny fist in the palm of his hand. She punched with her left. He again caught her hand. Oderus laughed as he began to twist the girl’s wrists, forcing her backward. Britney lashed out with a desperate kick to his nads. Oderus gritted his teeth, but he had mentally prepared himself for this sort of attack and twisted harder. Britney’s lip quivered with fear as she realized that the attack had failed.

A tremendous backhand by Oderus sent Britney spinning to the floor. Blood trickled from Britney’s lovely mouth. The Scumdogs surrounded Britney, relishing the fight she was giving them. The stage was spinning around Britney as Flattus hoisted her up in his smelly arms. He held her in a hammerlock as Beefcake and the Sexecutioner took turns giving her an abdominal pummeling. Finally Oderus took his turn. Each massive blow lifted her off the ground. Snap, crackle, pop. Her ribs broke like twigs, but still he was unaroused. He gave a signal and Flattus released her.

Coughing, Britney slid to the floor. Beefcake and the Sexecutioner stripped Britney of her clothes and threw the soiled garments into the Pit area where drooling slaves began to fight over them. Beefcake grasped her by the tits, the Sexecutioner by the ass. They held her tightly as they positioned Britney between them so that the Sexecutioner could rape her round behind while Beefcake could violate the full pouting lips of her mouth. Britney’s naked body shuddered as their mutant pistons engaged and her virginal orifices became the cylinders of a well timed two-stroke engine. In and out. Back and forth.

Meanwhile Jizmak da Gusha was helping Balsac, the Jaws of Death, to bring a huge drilling machine out on stage. The sinister device sported a huge drill bit of the sort used to dig holes for telephone poles.

“Bring her over here when you’ve done had your fun,” yelled Balzac, “So I can finish her!”

“We’re coming,” replied the Sexecutioner.

“I know, I know,” muttered Balzac, “I said when you’re done.”

Finally Beefcake and the Sexecutioner shot their wads. They each took an arm and dragged the naked girl across the stage. There was little resistance from the sputtering Britney as the mutants lifted her up and strapped her to the huge device. The mutants stepped back to admire the view. Britney’s bodacious body was on full frontal display to the growing crowd in the Pit. She tugged weakly against the metal bindings which encircled her, but they were quite snug.

Slymenstra came back on stage, juggling flaming torches. Slymenstra danced in front of Britney, taunting her with the flames. Finally Slymenstra got to the point. The burning ends of two torches were pressed deep into Britney’s tit flesh and the third thrust into her pussy. Britney screamed. Her naked body strained with animal-like vigor against its bindings. Slymenstra held the torches in place until the flames were extinguished. Tears streamed from Britney’s eyes and she began to sob uncontrollably in the aftermath of this terrible torture.

“Now to impale this treacherous slut,” proclaimed Balsac.

He powered up the the mechanical device to which Britney was strapped. The huge drill bit began to turn. Britney’s eyes were wide with terror as the point of the drill approached her backside. Once again she began to struggle frantically, but futilely, to free herself. A primal scream escaped her lips as the drill entered her back. Britney’s whole body vibrated as the drill bore into her flesh. It took only seconds for the point of the drill to erupt from her bellybutton, but in that short time her eyes glossed over with shock and her screams became plaintiff wails.

When several inches of the drill bit protruded from her abdomen Balsac shut off the machine. Britney’s bindings were released and the entire drill assembly rotated back so that it pointed straight up. Britney’s naked body hung limply in midair, impaled on the end of this huge drill shaft. Her flesh continued to quiver and convulse even as Balsac restarted the machine. As the drill began to spin the centrifugal force caused Britney’s arms and legs to fly outward. It was a pitiful sight. The naked body of this once proud superheroine spinning spread eagle above the stage was a testiment to the glory of GWAR. Finally when Britney’s bowls and bladder let go, it would confirm her death.

Oderus Urungus approached this sicking display with a huge erection, shouting, “Get her body down, now, I’m about to pop.” His will was done and soon so was he, having left his jizz in the dead girl’s womb.

“Now, feed her to the Maggot,” he commanded.

Jizmak and Balsac dragged the dead girl’s eviscerated body to the mouth of the large worm-like creature that GWAR worshipped like a god. The slug began to suck down Britney’s body head first. Jizmak kicked and stomped her jiggling tits and ass, helping push the dead girl’s body past the vile sphincter of a mouth and into the belly of the beast. He worked up quite a sweat before this feat was finally accomplished. Jizmak and Balsac stood in aww as they observed the mutant as it quickly began digesting Britney’s body.

GWAR had barely finished two more tunes when the Maggot moved to center stage. The mutants watched expectantly. The Maggot began to empty its mighty bowels. In the midst of a cloud of flatulence and dreck, it gave birth to a living dead girl. Britney’s shit-covered body was pushed out in one big whoosh! Flattus held her up by the ankles and admired the scent. Oderus whacked her on the upturned ass as a shitload avalanched out of her mouth. Holy shit! Britney Spears was alive, but not in the living sense. The Baptist teenager had been reborn! Balsac slapped a Scumdog collar with a long chain around her neck and hung her out to dry above the stage as their newest and gruesomest stage prop to date.

Britney had been reborn as the symbol of the slaves and show others the way. The plan had worked even better than Sleazy P. had expected. Britney Spears had actually become part of the Xmas Slaughter Tour and the band of mutants known as GWAR were back on the bottom of the world where they belonged.

Finally, at the end of the show, Britney was lowered down to stage for the final song. Her naked body glistened with a mixture of every possible bodily fluid as Gwar performed classic Alice Cooper with a joy that only a reborn sex slave could know.

“…I’m eighteen, and I like it, love it, like it, love it, eighteen, eighteen, eighteen, I’m eighteen and I like it!”

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