First let me introduce myself, my name’s Greg and I run a punk/ska magazine
based in the UK called, “Stoic”. Now the magazine doesn’t have a big a
readership as Q or Kerrang but we have a loyal fair-sized fanbase and when
it comes to the punk and ska scene we know our shit. We get a lot of free
CDs, tickets and backstage passes for gigs as a result from bands wanting a
nice feature in the magazine and being the owner of the company you can
guess who gets first dibs on the stuff available, right?
Now my magazine had recently been covering the split between Tim Armstrong,
owner of Hellcat
records and singer and guitarist for Rancid, The
Transplants and formerly Operation Ivy, impressive credentials indeed, and
Brody Armstrong, the awesome singer/guitarist of the Distillers. Now despite
a lot of jokes around the office that we were turning into some twisted,
surreal version of Ok or Hello! by doing this but we didn’t really choose a
side, the magazine had previously done stuff with both, and Tim and Brody
had appreciated our not delving too deeply into the split or calling either
one an asshole, as some have, no names mentioned. As a result Tim and Brody
were both grateful and so we scored a sneak preview of the new Rancid album
“Indestructible”, the first magazine to get a taster, which was going to
sell copies by the thousands from Tim. We also got from Brody a backstage
pass for the band’s upcoming gig in England at the Garage in London where’d
they’d be trying out some stuff from their new album “Coral Fang”, it would
be only their second ever gig in the UK before they went off to do the V
Now I’m a big, big fan of Brody for a long, long time. When I was in my
teens after just setting up “Stoic” we couldn’t score any massive interviews
or features, hell I ran the magazine out of print works in my garage,
however we did decent coverage of the UK punk and ska scene and we got
established and some money to start playing around with. So one issue I flew
over to Melbourne, Australia to do a piece on the “Rock N’ Roll High
School”, over there where bands hung around and played out to their hearts
content perfecting their rock ‘n’ roll style, they had some decent bands and
were even getting national airplay. One of the bands I met over there was
Sourpuss a female four-piece who sounded a lot like Hole, hell they were
once called Hole and did Hole covers. Now understand that I had nothing
against Hole at the time but I wasn’t a big fan but and the clone really did
grate on me as I listened to them at first but I did like the singer a lot,
a 16 year old Brody Armstrong.
She an awesome voice that blew me away, Brett Guerwitz once described her
voice sounding like, “a truck driving over gravel but she never misses a
note”. She handled her guitar like a pro but hell did she look different in
those days. No tattoos, no piercing, long girly brown hair and I saw her in
a dress! I did an interview with the band and then later on Brody, or Bree
as she was known back then, and I went out for some drinks. We talked and
she told me about her life, she was just some middle class kid back then who
had even been privately tutored but she seemed a nice girl to me who loved
music, though I little over obsessed with Courtney Love, which is kind of
and misleading ironic nowadays but hell I was the first person to ever
interview her! I guess you could say I discovered the Distillers and even
further Brody owes her success to me.
Call me an arrogant fuck or whatever, but the next day I got in touch with
some minor American punk band, their name steeped in obscurity, that were
over in Australia at the same time, they were called Rancid or something
like that. Well anyway I was a good friend with the drummer Brett Reed and I
got Sourpuss on the same show. So the Administrator at the Rock N’ Roll High
School told them I had set the show up for them and I went to watch that
night. Rancid were awesome, no question, and Sourpuss played a good show
despite the audience groans during a Hole cover.
Now, can you just imagine how appreciative Brody was to me? I hooked her up
with what now is one of the biggest bands in punk, in rock even, and got her
on those first steps to superstardom. Her gratitude must have been
overwhelming! Unfortunately, I never found out if it was, I was called back
hours after the gig by my partner Richie telling me he had found a mass
printer and some distributors who could get our magazine in shops, instead
of sold outside the local Co-Ops up and down the country, and this was big
and I returned home. Shortly afterwards two of the members of Sourpuss quit
and Brody upped house and moved to California with Tim who she married and
they were living happily making records for years while on the other hand I
was committed to writing up gig reviews for guys like Five Knuckle, painful.
However I had my backstage pass to the gig, Richie knew how much I liked
the Distillers and him hating them, he had no problem letting me go and so I
was standing at the bar at the Garage on the 14th August 2003 drinking a
Strawberry Daiquiri, my favourite cocktail, as I watched the roadies setting
up the stage for the Distillers.
The set lasted an hour and was mind-blowing, I moshed around in the pit
like a wild man with two awesome guys in Down By Law t-shirts (I’m a big fan
of Down By Law) and Brody yelled out, “Respect to these mother-fuckers!”, as
we burst onto the stage during “Red Carpet And Rebellion” setting up our own
mini-pit before jumping back into the crowd. The new songs from Coral Fang
the band played set the crowd wild and just as Brody ended the performance
with “Lordy Lordy” me and my Down By Law buddies leaned against a wall
“Dude, if anyone is the Ivory Girl its Brody Armstrong”, said one of my
friends, referring to this awesome Down By Law song, I looked at Brody as
she was getting ready to leave the stage. Her shoulder length black-hair was
an unruly mess but suited her so well that you couldn’t imagine it any other
way, and it framed her pale beautiful face. I’ve been to California and I’ve
been Australia, and Brody’s lived in both and she’s the only pale person
I’ve seen who has come from there. Her skin didn’t show an ounce of tans
emphasising her dark raven eyebrows and her strangely-doe like eyes. Her
full plump lips were the deepest shade of red and she had two lip-rings in
the corner of her mouth and when she opened her mouth you could see her
large sensuous tongue. Tattoos covered both of her shoulders as well as some
on her wrist and a tattoo on her lower back. The t-shirt she wore was low
cut giving the teaser of a pair of large beautiful breast and her
tight-fitting trousers showed off her great legs. I wiped the back of my arm
across my mouth in case I was drooling.
On the other hand I looked not that much different from the rest of the
guys in the place. I’m 6 foot and so I was taller than most of the guys
there, being an active and spirited rugby player I’ve got broad shoulders
too and though not a giant like some other props I’ve met, I was well
muscled. My brown hair was untouched by any hair products, which I despise,
and my blue eyes framed a face which I’ve been told by ladies was handsome.
I didn’t see it, looking in a mirror I thought I was just, well normal, but
hell, I’m not going to argue with attracting the ladies and I looked on at
Brody on stage as she threw some of her guitar plecs into the crowd and
walked into the back. This was my cue and I stood up to walk towards the
backstage entrance when one of my companions asked where I was going. I
pulled out my backstage pass hanging around my neck and showed it to them.
“You’re looking at a journalist for Stoic my friends and it’s time for some
backstage mingling”, I replied in an almost gloating manner.
“You lucky bastard”, said one.
“But you work for a cool magazine man, mention us in the review will ya?”
asked the other.
“Sure”, I said and I waved goodbye as I went through backstage passed the
security ape and I bumped into Andy Outbreak, the drummer.
“Cool show tonight Andy”, I said.
“Yeah thanks dude, the crowd was mental”, he replied undoing his bandanna.
“It’s because you’ve been away for far too long! When are we going to see a
tour of England form you guys?! I’m a writer for Stoic so you think later I
can have a few words about the album and your rise to fame as it were?”
“Ha ha, rise to fame, gimme a break! I suppose you’re the guy who got the
backstage pass we sent the mag then, it’s a decent magazine so yeah I’d love
to chat with you.”
“Awesome, awesome to the max”, I said and pulling out a Dictaphone me and
Andy chatted for about ten minutes or so on the album and the move to Warner
before we finished. We shook hands and I disappeared further into the crowd
of roadies and band members of which some were beginning to drink. It was
pretty hot so I stumbled through a corridor and walked into a small canteen
of sorts where there was a kettle, some mugs and cups with cupboards filled
with food and drink condiments. I filled a plastic cup with water gulped
down and filled another. I then turned around and was staring right at Brody
Armstrong. She was even hotter close-up and a towel was slung over a
shoulder and she was drinking some water as well.
“Ahh, the dude in the pit, you look sweaty, here”, she said to me and
smiled, throwing me a towel. I rubbed my face up and down and was about to
do my armpits when I thought better of it and handed the towel back to
Brody. She must have seen my backstage pass though as she said;
“So you’re the guy from Stoic, huh? I didn’t think you journalists usually
get involved in the pit like that let alone break onto stage, but that was
cool, and I like your magazine, it isn’t pretentious or preachy and your
interviews aren’t the typical bullshit. It’s as if you’ve actually prepared
questions instead of thinking them up fifteen minutes before as you ate a
burger. And thanks for the way you handled me and Tim’s split in your mag as
well”, she said warmly while turning the towel over in her hands. I felt the
colour rising to my cheeks at this compliment and Brody smiled again.
“It was nothing”, I said trying to pass it off casually, like I did those
sort of things everyday.
“You know what, that’s the second thing I’ve got to be grateful for to your
magazine did you know? The magazine has helped me out before you know”.
“By flying over to Australia and doing a piece on your band Sourpuss before
hooking you up with Tim by getting you a gig with Rancid maybe?”
“How did you know?” Brody said, looking slightly dumbstruck.
“Well I was the guy who flew over to do the feature on Rock N’ Roll High
School, remember we had a couple of drinks one night? But I’m kinda glad you
don’t want to kill me for introducing you to Tim”.
Brody let out a beautiful laugh and playfully punched me on the arm.
“No way, you getting me that gig with Rancid was the best thing that ever
happened to me. Thanks to that one night I have all of this”, Brody
generally emphasised with her arms and we looked around and dirty stainless
steel sink and chipped mugs and we laughed at the same time.
“It seems a great legacy I’ve bestowed you with”, I joked.
“Ha, ha, no seriously, I always wanted to thank the guy, well you, for
setting up that gig but you were gone a couple of hours after that gig and I
moved to California with Tim and I just generally forgot your name. That was
why the first couple of interviews I did was with Stoic but when I asked the
interviewers the name of the guy who went over to Australia they didn’t
know, but then again they probably don’t have a clue who Sourpuss ever were,
your magazine’s grown a little bit hasn’t it? Well anyway, now that I’ve
found you I guess I can finally thank you now, do you want to come and have
“Sure”, I said absolutely gob smacked that Brody remembered me after all
these years and now inviting me to come for a drink alone with her!! I
needed a reality check but before I could say anything more Brody linked her
arm through mine and we walked off, her leading the way through her exit and
A couple of hours later I lay down on the double bed of the hotel room Brody
was staying in that night. We had gone to a pub and drank some pints
together and we talked about Brody’s rise from kid rocker to punk icon,
though she scoffed when I used the word “icon” and Stoic’s growing emergence
in the punk scene but mainly we just joked around and had some fun. Then she
had taken me back to her hotel room and started perusing the mini-bar as she
let me wander into the bedroom.
Brody appeared in the doorway with two glasses and a bottle of champagne,
she threw the glasses to me which I caught and she popped the cork which
whizzed only slightly over my head hitting the wall behind me. I turned
behind me and grimaced at the mark in the wall while Brody just laughed and
champagne fizzing from the top down the bottle she flopped onto the bed
beside me an filled both the glasses and to me, she seemed a bit tipsy.
“Greg, tonight was a lot of fun we should do it again one day”, she said to
me looking over the top of her glass full of champagne she drank from.
“When you come back touring you know the magazine headquarters where to
find me”, I replied.
“Yeah, I’m happy that we met tonight Greg so I could finally say thanks as
well. If it wasn’t for you I wouldn’t be having as much fun as I am now”.
“It’s no problem, I’m just happy knowing that a great band was able to
catch the limelight thanks to a little something done by me”.
“And are you happy knowing that you pleased me”, she asked. Brody stretched
back on the bed and propped herself up on her elbows and looked at me.
“Greg, I’ve been lonely for a long time now, lonely while I was still with
Tim. I mean I met someone a while ago, Josh Homme, but the conversations we
had tonight I could never have with him. He’s just so, so. Two-dimensional,
so boring, he’s just so already been done y’know? Like some pathetic, pale
imitation of something which was cool, something innovative twenty years.”
“The guy from Queens Of The Stone Age?”
“Queens Of The Atone Age?”
“It doesn’t matter, he doesn’t matter Greg. I want you, and I want you now”
Brody rolled on top of me and pressed down as she lowered her mouth until
our lips touched, she softly kissed me before pulling my lips into a full
embrace and starting to kiss me. Holding the back of my head with her hand
she ran her plump lips across mine and used her tongue to explore the inside
of my mouth. I rolled over on top of her and then dug my lips against her,
our kissing became wild and frantic our tongues exploring and probing each
other, rolling around in each others mouths even faster.
I withdrew my tongue from her mouth and moved down to her soft white neck
which I started to plant with kisses, as Brody groaned in pleasure. She
reached down for the bottom of her top and pulled it over the top of her
head revealing her breasts. Large, rounded and deliciously plump, I lowered
my head down and Brody held the back of my head with her hands as I slowly
drew my tongue across her beautiful pale flesh, slowly running the tip
across her nipple. Brody gasped in pleasure as I began to knead her breasts
with my hands, kissing and licking her large breasts, making her nipples
slowly more erect. I moved over to her left breast and began to suck, and
gentle started sucking, feeling her nipples harden inside my mouth. I rang
my tongue around her aureola in circles moistening them before gently
blowing on them as Brody continued to moan lowly in pleasure at this.
Continuing to suck her beautiful breasts I let one of my hand trail down to
her trousers, my hand slipped down the fabric and feeling Brody’s cool flesh
beneath my hand I slipped my hand past her knickers to her pussy. I gently
started to stroke the lips of her cunt already moist with her juices I
teased my fingertips up and down her labia as Brody howled in ecstasy trying
to buck her vagina towards my hand.
“You want me to put my finger in?”
“Oh God, oh God yes!”
I slowly inserted a finger and Brody let out a whimper of pleasure and I
inserted another and I slowly began to stroke my two fingers up and down the
inner walls of her vagina. After a few minutes of this I found her clitoris
and started to stroke it gently, still sucking and licking her breasts I
looked up at the rhapsodical face of Brody and started to increase my steady
pace on her clitoris.
“Oh fuck! Fuck! Pump my pussy Greg! Pump my fucking pussy!”
As Brody screamed in pleasure I kept working her clitoris faster and faster
and Brody’s cries of pleasure grew to whimpers and she suddenly arched her
back and bucking her hips gave out another cry of joy as an orgasm rippled
through her body. Whimpering she slumped down back onto the bed as I began
to pull off her trousers. Brody wore a skimpy pair of black knickers, now
soaked in her own orgasmic juices I pulled them off too revealing Brody’s
pussy to my eyes, a mohican strip of hair ran above the lips of her labia,
on the discovery that she wore a mohican upstairs and down, I grinned.
I began to gently suck and nibble her wonderful thighs for a while before
moving to her box, I slowly drew my tongue up hr labia, bottom to top,
savouring the taste of her juices as Brody cried out in pleasure. I began to
lick again and again, soon I was licking in a near frantic motion like a
dog, Brody pushing my face down towards her crotch propped up against the
bed revelling in her pleasure.
“Oh fuck yes! Fuck yes Greg, eat my fucking pussy! Jesus, eat my fucking
pussy Greg! Oh fuck yes!”
My tongue slipped into her pussy, much tighter when I had first entered
with my finger it was now slick with her juices and I began to flick his
tongue up and down Brody’s button. Brody was out of this world.
“Make me fucking cum Greg! Make me fucking cum!”
Increasing my pace I finally began to suck on it savagely and hearing a
final yell of pleasure a wave of warm liquid splashed across my face as
Brody came again. Brody once again slumped back onto the bed and I lay on it
across from her as Brody grinned at me and started undoing the flies of my
trousers. She yanked off my ¾ length trousers to reveal a raging hard on
barely kept in check by my boxers.
Grinning Brody slipped her hand underneath my pants and pulled out my cock,
standing fully erect at 8 inches. She licked her lip and slowly ran her
tongue up my dick, from shaft to head. Taking me into her mouth she began to
slowly lick around my head causing me to groan in pleasure, pleased with my
show of pleasure Brody looked up at me before slowly taking more of my cock
into her mouth. Slowly by slowly she had all 8 inches in there and grabbing
the back of her head I begin to thrust my cock in and out of her mouth. I
fucked her face furiously and Brody kept sucking and my dick was soon
covered in saliva and pre-cum as I withdrew my cock from her mouth and I
then straddled myself on top of her stomach.
I grabbed both of Brody’s beautiful breasts and pushed them together and I
slipped my well-lubed dick in between and began to pump in and out of her
tits, growing in speed, as I grunted in pleasure. As my dick went in between
her breasts Brody stuck her tongue out to lick the head of her cock, as I
shot my dick in and out of those beautiful mounds and I played with her
nipples, pulling and stroking them as Brody sighed in pleasure. I felt my
balls building up with cum and knew I was reaching my climax.
“Oh fuck I’m gonna cum!”
“Cum right on my tits, cum on my tits like the dirty slut I am”
I grabbed my dick and posted it at her tits as I shot wave after wave of
gooey white jizz over her tits as Brody’s face was lit up with enjoyment. My
cock drained I slipped off Brody’s stomach and watched her smear my cum all
over her breasts, she grabbed one breast and began to suck it clean of cum
as she wiped her other hand in my jizz and moved it down to her pussy.
Without hesitation she then stuck her hand laden in my cum into her pussy
and started fingering herself and watching her do so I found myself wanking
as well and I was soon fully at attention once again. I kneeled in front of
Brody’s pussy and she swept her hand aside widening her legs for me.
“Stick it in me Greg; stick your big fucking cock in my pussy!”
I obliged and slipped my dick into her pussy. Brody was tight but
thankfully we were both well lubed up already and I felt my cock sliding
gradually into Brody who was moaning in pleasure. My cock stretched out her
pussy and Brody cried out in ecstasy once again as I begin to slowly pump in
and out of her, I raised her legs over my shoulders and kept a pace. I drove
into her fast two times, then slow the next, fats two times, and slow the
next and the pattern continued as Brody and I cried out in pleasure.
“How d’you like that then you dirty little whore?”
“I love it Greg, I love it! Fuck me, I’m a dirty little fucking whore!”
I turned Brody over doggy-style and began to pump in and out of her slick
slit even faster, I grabbed a handful of hair and with her head arched back
she was going wild.
“Ungggggggggghhhhhh, oh fuck, oh fuck!! Christ, don’t stop Greg, don’t
Brody’s cries of pleasure drove me on even harder and as Brody screamed out
as she was hit with her orgasm I hit I shot my load deep into her pussy. I
drained myself into her before we both sagged down to the bed; my head fell
onto a pillow and Brody nestled her head on my chest and smiled up at me
before falling to sleep, I doing the same.