Dirty Politics 4: Even Evil Bitches Need Love

Story: Dirty Politics 4: Even Evil Bitches Need Love

Author: Tricksterson

Celebs: Ann Coulter, Condoleeza Rice, Michelle Malkin

Codes: FF, FFF, anal, cons, BDSM, fetish (foot), oral, toys, viol

Standard Boilerplate: This is a work of fiction and satire. Any offensive behavior on the part of the characters is just that, the behavior of a fictional character that is, at best, loosely based on a real person. So bugger off.

“What is it?,” Ann Coulter asked grouchily. She was dressed in a sheer, if ankle length, pale blue night gown with white lace trim
and was quite tired because she had been up late celebrating her fourty-fifth birthday.

The man on the other side of the door was dressed all in black. Even his head was covered in a black hood leaving only a narrow strip of flesh around his eyes bare. Next to him, on a dolly was a large, wooden crate.

“Ninja Overnight Delivery Service,” he replied. “Package for you Miss Coulter.” That woke her up. Anything delivered by the NODS had to be from her bosses. Her *real* bosses, the Council of Evil Capitalist Overlords.

“Come in,” she said, powering down the security system and unlatching the door. The black clad deliveryman and his partner wheeled the crate into her house and pried it open with their swords revealing a large, steel container about the size and shape of a refrigerator with a cylinder marked “Oxygen” attached and a tube going from it to the container.

“It came with a note,” the ninja said, handing an envelope over to her.

“Thank you but couldn’t you have waited until morning to bring this?”

“No, we’re ninjas,” he said and then he and his comrade vanished mysteriously into the night.

“Weirdos,” she muttered, then opened the envelope. Inside was a Hallmark Card that read, “In celebration of your birthday and in appreciation for all your fine work.” It was signed, “Your Masters, the Evil Capitalist Overlords”. Below was a PS that said “Expect a call from your MIstress.”

Ann shuddered in both fear and anticipation. Mistress Condi, leader of the Women In Little Black Dresses the secret society to which she belonged, could be delightful, fearsome or both, at any given time.

But that was for later. Right now she decided to examine her present. It had a lock triggered by her thumb print which, when triggered opened to reveal a small, shapely brownskinned woman wearing only an oxygen mask, whom Ann instantly recognized as fellow pundit and WILBD Michelle Malkin.

“Well it’s about time,” snarled the shorter woman as she stepped out of the container.

“Aaah, shaddup and eat me,” her colleague replied, not entirely without affection. “The Masters gave you to me so you have to do anything I want.” Coulter had always secretly wanted to own a dark skinned person and now that her dream had come true, if only for a short time, she planned to make the most of it.

“On your knees!,” she barked. Michelle, who had orders to obey her in anything that wouldn’t result in serious injury obeyed. She expected to be told to eat her temporary owners pussy, something she quite looked forward to but instead the leggy blond just said, “Stay!” and went into the bedroom. Shortly she returned with a large dog collar in one hand and a leash in the other.

“Raise your head.” Once more the Asian bottom obeyed and soon the collar and leash were attached.

“All fours. Now heel!,’ the scrawny blond commanded and pulled her girltoy towards the bedrooom. When they reached it Ann looped the leash around one of the bedposts, told her puppy girl, “Sit!” then took off her nightgown, letting it pool around the legs that she justly considered her best feature and revealing a body that was still quite attractive although starting to tend to the pseudoanorexic thiness some women started to show as they aged. Like Michelle and all other members of the WILBD she cultivated a full crotch of hair in counterpoint to their sworn enemies, the Church of Fucking, their motto being “We don’t shave, we braid!”

She sat down on the end of the bed and stretched out one long slender leg.

“Lick!,” she ordered her sub.

Michelle took her Mistress’ foot in both hands and ran her tongue along the bottom from heel to toe then kissed the tip of each digit before proceeding to the instep. When she reached the ankle her tongue licked one side, then the other and finally the Achilles tendon before working it’s way up Ann’s shin to her knee. When she reached the knee she shifted legs, moving from right knee to left inner thigh. She also shifted from slow licks to lighter, quicker ones.

“Mmmm, good little slave, pretty little slave,” the blond pundit purred. When Michelle reached her pussy and started licking, first around, then inside, her slit the purr became a hiss and she leaned back, resting her weight on her arms and throwing her head back then threw herself forward, knotting her fists into her slave’s hair and howling “Yeah little bitch, make Mama COME!” As her orgasm grew in depth and power she wrapped her legs around the other woman’s shoulders and let out a wordless shout.


“When do I get to come, Mistress?,” Michelle asked, looking up since Ann was sprawled flat on the bed and all the chocolate hued columnist could see was her thighs, pussy and pelvis.

“Not now,” Coulter said with a sneer. “In fact I don’t think I’m going to let you come at all. Now go get the strapon out of the closet and do me like a good doggie should.”

Michelle sighed inwardly. She knew better than to refuse or even complain. The Evil Overlords had given her to the other woman for the day and defying them would be more than her career, or maybe even her life, was worth. But she knew that someday she would be the one giving the orders and payback would be as much of a bitch as she and Ann were.

But for now she just bowed her head and did as she was told.

By the time she had retrieved and put on what was, in everything but size, a realistic replica of a black man’s cock, being thirteen inches long and as big around as her arm, her mistress was standing by the foot of the bed and was bent over.

“Come and fuck me doggie, I’m waiting!,” the blond dominatrix said impatiently. Michelle contemplated shoving her cock into the slightly bony ass in front of her but that wasn’t what her Mistress wanted and she could wait for her revenge. SLowly she pushed it into the moist twat before her then started thrusting in ernest.

“Ohhh yesss! Make it hurt you black bastard, make it hurt!,” Ann growled, clearly engaged in a rape fantasy. Michelle decided to take her satisfaction where she could and, bracing her hands on Ann’s hips helped the fantasy along by slamming into the other woman as hard and as often as she could manage.


Ann had barely finished coming and collapsed onto the bed, Michelle’s cock still in her, when her cell and both house phones rang. Exhausted and strung out though she was Ann pushed Michelle off and out of her and scurried to the cell phone on her nightstand because she knew who it had to be on the other side of the line.

“Very nice,” came a mellifluous contralto from the other end.

“Thank you Mistress Condi,” Ann simpered. Like all servants of the CECO her house was wired for both visual and audio surveillance.

“I’ll expect both of you tomorrow for an interview. A private interview.”

“Yes, Mistress Condi.”

“Don’t bother with underwear.”

“Of course not Mistress.”


Officially neither of them was ever at the White House. They came seperately and at night, were let in and no record of their presence was made. The Secret Service was used to visits like this, they were older than the Service, as old as the Republic in fact.

Michelle was already in the dressing room when Ann arrived and was taking off the Little Black Dress that was their organization’s uniform. When she and Ann were naked they both put on the leather collar that would be their only clothing for the “interview”.

The room they entered screamed dungeon.Dimly lit, instruments of torture lined the walls and larger ones filled the room. It had originally been built as a love nest for Lyndon Johnson and J. Edgar Hoover. It’s current mistress stood at the foot of the stairs leading down. A petite black woman, she was dressed in a black leather bustier, ass hugging black leather shorts and thigh high boots. A cat-of-nine-tails was coiled at one hip and her hands caressed a riding crop.

“Knees!” she barked as Ann and Michelle reached the bottom of the stairs. Both women before her immediately knelt and bowed their heads in submission.

Mistress Condi flicked Michelle’s face with the crop and snapped, “Stand up!” When the other woman obeyed she said. “Undo my top. With your teeth.” She then turned to Ann and putting her hand behind the blond woman’s head, pushed it into her crotch.

“You open my front. Also with your teeth, Blond Bitch.”

Since both bustier and shorts were zippered this was accomplished quickly. The Secretary stepped back from her slaves and finished undressing then wearing only her boots sat on a nearby bench and stretched out her legs, exposing her hairy pussy as she did so.

“Remove them. But first,” she said with a sneer, “lick the soles clean.” Both did so, trying but failing not to grimace at the taste. When they were done each pulled off a boot and licked up their respective leg towards their Mistress’ pussy.

“Climb up on top of me, Brown Bitch,” Condoleeza said and was obeyed. “Now keep licking. You too, Blond Bitch.” The feel of her slaves tongues licking at and piercing into her cunt made her close her eyes and sent a low growl from her throat.

When her eyes opened it was to the delightful sight of Michelle’s dark, hairy bush hovering over her face. She didn’t give into her instincts however, not quite anyway. She licked at the other woman’s smooth, peanut butter colored thighs and at where they joined her crotch, even around the outer edges of her vulva but never into her slit or near her popped clit.

Just as Condi felt her own orgasm growing, Michelle, unable to stand the teasing any longer wrenched her head up and screamed, “Pleease Mistress, let me cumm! Let your Bitch cummm!” She got her answer, not in words but in the raking of long sharp nails down her outer thighs, hard enough to draw blood. Sobbing from both pain and frustration the diminutive columnist returned her attention downwards and soon the Secretary’s body was shuddering and heaving in orgasm from the oral attentions of her servants..

After recovering she pushed the other two women off her, tubling them roughly to the concrete floor, stood up, then pulled Michelle to her feet by her hair and slapped her face hard.

“How dare you mention your needs without permission!?!,” she shouted.

“I’m sorry Mistress! I just…need to come sooo badly!”

“And you will, pet,” Condi said, her voice turning gentle for a brief moment and then cold and hard again as she continued, “When I’m ready.” With that, still gripping the other woman by the hair, she dragged her servant over to a steel X-frame table with iron manacles attached. She turned to where Ann was kneeling on the floor and said, “Secure her.” After the Filipina was attached Condoleeza directed her other slave to a crank that moved the table to a 45-degree angle.

“Now lick her Bitch. But don’t let her come until I say so.”

“Yes Mistress.”

While Ann knelt between her compatriots legs and bent her head down to start licking her pussy Condi went over to a cabinet and took out a rubber coated, steel core strapon and put it on.

When she was done she contemplated the ass of her white slavewoman who had proceeded from licks to tongue thrusts and whose hands were roaming over Michelle’s flanks and belly.

‘A bit on the bony side,’ Condi thought, ‘but it will do.’ She reached forward and spread the blond’s buttocks, then took her thumbs and did the same to her anus before pushing the unlubricated dildo into Ann’s ass.

She had calculated the timing of the thrust perfectly. Her blonde sub’s face, contorted in agony reared up from between Michelle’s legs just as the dark hued beauty had been on the verge of climax. Condi reached forward and grabbed the other woman’s long hair and pulled it and the head it was attached to back roughly even as her other hand came down and slapped Coulter’s ass cheeks, first one then the other, hard then moved to her hips to brace her as her Mistress thrust away at her. Condi felt like she was riding a mare and regretted that she wasn’t wearing spurs and had neglected to bring any ponygirl gear. Maybe next time.

She released her sub’s hair and said, “You can make her come now.”

“Thank you Mistress, oh thannnk youuuu!,” said Michelle, tears in her eys. The she gasped and strained against her manacles as her fellow slave, fueled by a mix of pain and lust licked and thrust ferociously into her pussy while their Mistress drove her dildo just as fiercely into the pale flesh of Ann’s ass.

“Yes! OH FUCK YESSSS!!,” the Asian wench screamed. “Make me come Annie! MAKE MEEE CUMMMMM!!!”


Over the next two weeks both columnists would write several articles stridently denouncing the decay of sexual morals in AMerica, with particular emphasis on the evils of homosexuality and the debilitating effects on society of gay marriage.

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