Title: FOKTONIA TONIGHT! …With Selena Gomez and Bill Murray
Celebs: Selena Gomez
Codes: MF, cons, anal, oral
Disclaimer: This story is a work of absolute fiction based on nothing real or plausible at all. Fantasy is legal and this shit is ridiculous anyway. Thanks for reading.
This took place in the tiny country of Foktonia, an impoverished nation in Eastern Europe under the oppressive rule of a despot leader who prohibits his people from sharing their culture with the rest of the world. Foktonians have access to most popular media from other countries but all of their own content is enclosed and insulated. Strictly guarded and forbidden to be shared outside of the country’s borders under penalty of death for treason, all of their movies, music, TV shows and segments, such as the interview that follows, remain completely invisible to the rest of human population.
And yet, year after year, Foktonia continues to surprise executives on all the big media conglomerates with their unusually high box office numbers. Virtually every Foktonian citizen will watch a movie if it’s promoted right within their borders. All of this often leads to a very different style of interview than celebrities are accustomed to, one of which we present hereunder.
INTERVIEWER: Selena, Bill, thank you so much for being here and welcome to Foktonia Tonight!
BILL: It’s our pleasure.
SELENA: It really is, I always enjoy coming here, it’s my favorite place in the world to do interviews.
BILL: Oh, I didn’t know you’d been here before. Why do you love it so much?
SEL: Oh yeah, many times. Well, anything you do here is only for Foktonians, no one else will ever see it so I can be completely honest and not get in trouble or hurt anyone’s feelings.
INT: I’ve heard many actresses say the same thing.
BILL: Well that is very interesting.
SEL: It’s such a relief, especially when I’ve been answering the same thing dozens of times.
INT: Not a fan of the promo tour, huh?
SEL: It’s just so repetitive, y’know? I’m so happy this is the last interview I have to do. At least for a while, hahaha.
INT: Then let’s get down to business, shall we?
SELENA AND BILL NOD IN AGREEMENT
INT: So you two are starring in a new Jim Jarmusch movie about zombies.
SEL: That’s right.
INT: Tell us a little about the movie.
SEL: Well, it’s like a comedy-horror thing about a group of small town cops that suddenly have to deal with the dead coming back to life.
INT: Sounds fun.
SEL: It is! I think people are going to have a great time watching it and I’m really proud and honored to have been able to work on such a cool project with so many talented actors and two legends like Jim and Bill here, of course.
INT: Bill, you’ve been involved with zombies before, how is this movie different from Zombieland?
AWKWARD SILENCE, BILL IS STARING AT SELENA’S LEGS
INT: Uh, Bill?
BILL: Oh, sorry about that, she was distracting me with those luscious legs of hers.
SEL: Oh Bill, stop it!
INT: Is he always so easily distracted by you?
SEL: Oh, you have no idea, we only had a couple of scenes together and it took us days and days to be get through them ’cause he kept forgetting his lines.
BILL: Yes, Jim would constantly yell at me, “YOU’RE ON CAMERA, STOP STARING AT HER TITS”
SEL: That’s true, hahaha!
BILL: I had to ask them to change her wardrobe to something with no cleavage.
INT: And did they?
SEL: Yeah, they did, but that didn’t stop him from staring.
INT: So other than that, how was the experience of working with a legend like Mr. Murray?
SEL: Oh it was amazing. A little awkward at first because, like I said, he wouldn’t stop leering at me but–
BILL: Well, can you blame me? Look at those tits!
INT: I certainly can’t.
SEL: Aaww, stop it, you’re making me blush!
INT: Well, now that you mention that, there’s been a lot of talk about you two openly flirting on the red carpet.
INT: Should we assume that something happened between you two while filming this movie?
BILL LAUGHS OUT LOUD
SEL: Oh, you’re terrible!
INT: Is that a yes?
SEL: Yes… hahaha.
INT: Oh wow, are you two dating now?
SEL: Not really, let’s just say we became very close…
BILL: Very, very close.
BILL WINKS TO THE CAMERA
SELENA GIGGLES AGAIN
INT: Are we talking sex here or…
SEL: Well, yeah, we fucked.
BILL: Whoah there, can she curse on this?
INT: Sure, there is no censorship here.
SEL: There’s basically porn in every channel here, they’re very open with their sexuality.
BILL: I should’ve come here sooner!
THEY ALL LAUGH
BILL: Well in that case… Yeah, I fucked Selena, and I fucked her a lot!
SEL: Yup, hahaha.
INT: Really? So the huge difference in age wasn’t an issue for you?
SEL: Not at all. I love older men. They kinda remind me of my grandpa, they make me feel like I’m a little girl on my grandpa’s lap again, I don’t know why that makes me so horny… God, I’m such a weirdo!
SELENA BLUSHES AND COVERS HER FACE WITH HER HANDS
BILL: I’m sure I wasn’t her first old guy.
SEL: Oh no, trust me, growing up in this business… you get used to old men getting their hands on you pretty fast. It’s basically part of the job. I mean I started very young in this business… I’m not sure I should have involved that young.
And I definitely sometimes wished that I could’ve had a different upbringing.
INT: Because of all the men trying to have sex with you?
SEL: Yeah. It’s just for me it made me a bit guarded, and also the way I’ve seen men online talk about me, definitely bugged me.
INT: Not anymore?
SEL: I just eventually learned to embrace it. But I just… if you look at my Instagram, I’m always teasing guys on there.
BILL: Gotta love show-business!
INT: So how did it start between you? When was the first time you had sex?
SEL: I think it was just a few days after I started shooting my scenes.
BILL: She was running around the set in these little denim shorts and a tight shirt and, you know, I mean… she just has fantastic tits! I saw those babies bouncing in the face of every other actor on the fucking movie and I started cursing at God for not having more scenes with them.
SEL: I guess they have gotten very big, huh?
INT: Yes, they look a lot bigger than the last time I interviewed you. But please tell us, what happened then?
BILL: Well, I started going to watch her work and there was a scene with her crawling around the set with her ass pent up in the air and… that’s when I thought, “I just have to fuck that.” Pretty much every guy there was thinking the same thing.
SEL: Hahaha, he was waiting for me when I went back to my trailer!
INT: Waiting in your trailer?
SEL: Yeah, he scared the hell out of me! I asked what he was doing there and before I knew it he was all over me.
INT: All over you?
SEL: Yeah, you know, like touching me, feeling me up, that kind of thing.
BILL: I immediately went for the tits. I wanted to feel them, weigh them, squeeze them, all of that.
INT: And you had no problem with that, Selena?
SEL: Mmm, well, not exactly, bu he’s a legend, you know? What was I supposed to do, tell Bill Murray that he can’t touch me? As far as I’m concerned if you were in the original Ghostbusters you can do whatever you want with me.
BILL: I’ll be sure to tell Dan Akroyd that!
SEL: Oh, hahahaha! I mean, I’d probably let him fuck me too, just sayin’…
INT: I’m sure he’ll be happy to hear that.
BILL: I can totally make that happen.
INT: Wow, you’re gonna have sex with Dan Akroyd, Selena!
SEL: I’m excited. I don’t know what to expect, but it’s definitely an honor.
Int: Getting back to Bill and you getting together for the first time, what happened after he grabbed you?
BILL: I unzipped her shorts.
SEL: He did, hahaha, those were super tight on me but he found a way to get them off.
BILL: When there’s a will there’s a way!
SEL: And he sure had the will, he was rock hard right away.
BILL: I’ll tell you a little secret, I’d taken like 5 Viagras before that.
INT: Oh so you were prepared? But how were you so sure that she’d fuck you right away?
BILL: I’ve been in this business a long time, I know a slut when I see one. Selena had given me that vibe right away.
INT: what kind of vibe?
BILL: The slut vibe! That sixth sense you feel when you look at a hot piece of ass like her and you realize that she’s really a dirty whore.
SEL: Hey, I’m not that bad!
BILL: Yes you are, honey.
BILL PINCHES HER NIPPLE THROUGH HER DRESS KISSES HER.
SEL: Okay, I guess I can be a huge whore sometimes… hahaha!
INT: So what happened after he took off your denim shorts?
SEL: Oh, right. Well, once he started undressing me I was like, “I guess Bill Murray is going to fuck me now”. And then I thought about it and I was like, “OMG BILL MURRAY IS GONNA FUCK ME, MY MOM’S GONNA BE SO JEALOUS”. And sure enough, I didn’t even get a chance to wash the fake blood off my breasts before he started sucking on them.
bill: Like I said, I knew she was a slut.
SEL: So then I sat on the couch and I spread my legs for him and he started fucking me.
BILL: No no no, first I warmed you up.
SEL: Oh that’s right, first he teased me with the head of his cock, like sliding it up and down between my labia, you know? Oh he made me so wet doing that.
BILL: I’m a gentleman, honey, I had to warm you up first.
sel: Oh and he was asking me my age as he did it! Hahaha.
BILL: I’m not a criminal either.
SEL: So I told him I’m 26 and that was when he stuck it in me.
BILL: Nothing like the fresh pussy of a girl that could be your granddaughter to get in the mood for love.
INT: And how much did you enjoy that, Selena?
SEL: Honestly it was a little awkward for me at first because he’s like, so famous, I’ve been watching his movies since I was a little girl and to suddenly have his cock in me was kinda surreal. But then I started getting more into it and the thought of having such an older man inside of me really got me going.
INT: Did you have an orgasm?
SEL: Not the first time, probably because I was so nervous, but I still loved it.
BILL: And I knew she was a keeper when she didn’t even ask about protection.
INT: Wow, so no condom, huh?
BILL: At my age? Hell no, condoms are for young people.
SEL: Like I said, he’s a living legend, I wasn’t going to ask him to put on a condom. And I figured he’s probably too old to get me pregnant.
INT: So he finished inside of you?
SEL: He sure did, it was lovely.
BILL: I filled her with jizz like her pussy was a coconut cream donut!
SELENA TURNS RED AND HIDES HER FACE AGAIN BEFORE LAUGHING OUT LOUD
INT: So what happened after that?
Bill: I fell asleep.
SEL: And I called my mom.
INT: What did you say to her?
SEL: I just called her and said, “Mom, Bill Murray just fucked me!”
INT: And what was her reaction?
SEL: She didn’t believe me so I had to send her a picture of me naked next to Bill, and then I sent her one of my pussy dripping with his cum.
INT: Did that convince her?
SEL: Hahaha, yeah, she was so happy for me.
INT: Is she always that supportive?
SEL: I mean, she’s had some issues with some of the guys I’ve been with over the years but, for the most part, yeah, she’s always happy to know I’m getting laid.
INT: And especially if your boyfriend is Bill Murray, right?
SEL: Hahaha! But really, it’s not like we’re dating or anything. We just enjoy each others company, right?
BILL: I sure do! I have no idea why she’s letting an old fart like me fuck her but so far it’s working out great for me.
SEL: Hahaha, oh Bill, you’re so funny!
BILL: She fucked the director too.
SEL: Well, obviously, that was how I got the part.
INT: Oh, so you didn’t audition for it?
SEL: Sucking his cock was the audition. And I guess I nailed it, hahaha!
BILL: She’s a talented kid, this one.
INT: So you two are not a couple then?
SEL: It’s really not serious, I sleep with my co-stars all the time. I mean, we have fallen asleep together every now and then–
BILL: –especially when we do anal.
SEL: hahaha, yes, that is true!
INT: What about your fans outside of Foktonia? How do you think they’d react if they found out?
SEL: Ugh, honestly… at this point in my career and in my life I couldn’t care less what people think. There’s been so many made up things said about me that I’m like, “Whatever, I’ll just fuck whoever I want and if people think I’m a whore then I’m fine with that.”
BILL: Nothing wrong with that.
SEL: I’m proud of being a woman who is free to express her sexuality. I think fucking my co-stars is wonderful and I’m not ashamed of it.
BILL: Nor should you be.
INT: So you do that often then?
SEL: Sleep with my co-stars?
Yeah, I like to share bits and pieces that I want to share, and I think it’s always better than, I don’t know, interviews, or getting to know me from my music or anything. When I fuck them it just makes us closer immediately. I think it’s nice to be intimate. I don’t want to get too graphic but… I just never feel comfortable working with someone unless I’ve had his sweaty cock cumming deep inside of me.
BILL SMILES AND TAPS HER THIGH, SHE KISSES HIM ON THE CHEEK.
INT: So what where you two lovebirds giggling about on the red carpet?
BILL: I was just whispering to her how fat her tits looked.
SEL: I knew he was going to like that dress.
INT: We all did.
BILL: I’m not gonna lie, I just couldn’t keep my hands off of her.
INT: Yes, that is very clear in the photos.
BILL: She likes when I tickle her back like that.
SEL: I do! It makes me so wet and especially when he does it in public. But then he started touching my butt and I had to tell him like, you know, “Cool it.”
BILL: What she actually said was, “Bill, just wait till we go inside” and that made me even hornier.
SEL: Hahaha that was not my intention!
BILL: Uh-huh… She likes to play innocent right up until the moment I put my cock in her mouth.
INT: And you whispered another thing to her after that, what was it?
BILL: I was telling her all about how I was going to cum in her asshole later that night.
INT: And did he?
SEL: He sure did.
BILL: I took her to the men’s bathroom and fucked her from behind in one of the stalls.
INT: Sounds hot.
SEL: It was, I was holding on to the toilet tank because my knees where on the seat and I almost fell down like four times!
BILL: And I was fucking plowing that brown hole like there was no tomorrow!
INT: And you weren’t afraid of people seeing you two?
SEL: I honestly didn’t even think about it, I just believe that in situations like that should just go with it, you know, live in the moment.
BILL: We were lucky, by the time someone came in I was already filling her up.
SEL: And that’s why I had cum leaking out of my ass for the rest of the night. It ruined the silk panties I had on, I can tell you that!
BILL: Don’t worry, I’ll buy you more.
SEL: Oh, hahaha, what a gentleman.
INT: That’s such a great story.
BILL: Oh there’s a lot more to it!
INT: Oh please, tell us all about it.
SEL: Bill, you’re terrible! You’re really gonna make me tell that?
BILL: You said it yourself, no one’s gonna see this so fuck it!
SELENA TAKES A MOMENT TO CONSIDER IT
INT: Will you share with your Foktonian fans, Selena?
SEL: Okay, okay, so I blew Luka that night too.
INT: Luka Sabbat, who is also in this movie?
INT: How did it happened?
BILL: Well, he came to me first. He’d figured out I was fucking her–
SEL: Because you kept grabbing me in front of the whole crew!
BILL: So anyway, he told me how much he liked her and it’s like, you know, I’m old, I’ve done many things, I like to give something back to the newer generations, help out these kids however I can. So I told him, “You want some of that?”
SEL: I still can’t believe you did that.
BILL: And he of course said yes. So I told him I’d make it happen. And then I told Selena to help him out.
INT: Really, just like that?
BILL: She’s very generous with her body, I knew she’d be down for it.
INT: So you were totally okay with this, Selena?
SEL: Look, it’s not the first time a guy has asked me to fuck another man. It normally doesn’t happen that fast but… whatever, Luka is cute, so why not?
INT: Did he fuck you in the bathroom stall too?
BILL: She was way too fast for that.
SEL: Shut up! Hahaha!
INT: What does that mean?
SEL: Luka and I sat down to watch the movie and when the lights went out I started rubbing his cock to let him know.
INT: Let him know?
SEL: That I was ready for him.
INT: That must’ve surprised him.
SEL: It did! Hahaha, he was super hard for me in seconds!
INT: And then?
SEL: The plan was to go back to the bathroom with him but when I felt how big his cock was… I just couldn’t wait.
BILL: What a whore!
SEL: I’m so bad when I’ve been drinking, oh my god!
INT: So what did you do?
SEL: I gave him a blowjob right there.
INT: Right there in the theater?
SEL: Yes, while everyone was focused on zombies I was on my knees, swallowing Luka’s big black cock in the dark.
BILL: She loves black dick.
SEL: I can’t deny it, hahaha! There’s just something about it I can’t resist.
INT: How did Luka react to you sucking his cock?
SEL: He was a little nervous because he has a girlfriend. But I told him to relax, I fuck married men all the time, and he’s only been dating Kendall for like two weeks or something.
INT: Did he relax after that?
SEL: Well, he definitely seemed very relaxed after cumming in my mouth, hahaha!
THEY ALL LAUGH
INT: Did you swallow?
SEL: Of course, I’m a lady!
BILL: She loves cum!
INT: Is that true?
SEL: Hahaha, yeah, I like to play with it and stuff, I always end up making a mess.
INT: Did you make a mess that night?
SEL: Not intentionally, but I did have to change into another dress after that because I had so much cum and spit on my top.
INT: And your team was ready for that?
SEL: They always are. Part of the job is knowing that I’m a slut so we always have a backup just in case I end up having sex with someone. It’s become something of a tradition now, if you look at my appearances at red carpets or award shows its very usual to see me wearing a different dress by the end of the night.
INT: And that’s because you ruined the first one?
SEL: Usually yeah, I always seem to end up, either getting cum all over it or someone fucks me really hard and it rips.
BILL: What a fucking whore!
THEY ALL LAUGH
SELENA SHRUGS HER SHOULDERS
INT: And does Kendall Jenner know about this?
SEL: Probably not.
INT: Do you think she’ll be mad if she finds out?
SEL: I mean… she’s fucked my boyfriends many times, it’s only fair I should fuck hers.
INT: It sounds like it was a very interesting night for you.
SEL: You mean because Bill Murray fucked me in the ass in a bathroom stall and I sucked Luka Sabbat’s cock in puiblic? Yeah, I guess you could say that!
INT: Okay, well, that’s all the time that we have with you guys. And “The Dead Don’t Die” opens in Foktonia next month, is that right?
SEL: Yes, we’re very proud of it.
INT: Thank you for being here, Bill, it was an honor to meet you.
BILL: Thanks for having me.
INT: Selena, you’re one of our favorites, we hope to see you again soon.
SEL: Aww, thank you! I love Foktonia, you’ll be seeing me again.