JOA: Damon’s Chronicles – Chapter 14

This story is a spin off from the successful and wildly popular “Journal of an Agent” by Carnage Jackson. At the end of Carnage’s story, the main character, Dean Simonds, faces a major dilemma, where he has to choose between staying in Hollywood with Alyssa Milano, or heading back east with Natalie Portman. Please note that this might not necessarily have been the ending Carnage had in mind, but is my own interpretation.

If you are under 18, please refrain from reading this. To the rest of you, note that this story is completely fictional, and all similarities to real life people and occurrences are strictly coincidental.

Note to readers: I’d like to thank everyone who has read and enjoyed this series thus far. Even more thanks to those who have been able to pass across their thoughts to me. All comments, suggestions and criticism have been so much appreciated. Shout-outs go to KMB, TRL, IYG, and the rest of the crew who have loyally offered feedback from time to time. And I’ll never thank Carnage Jackson enough for not only allowing me to do the series, but continually offering ways to make it better.

The tale of Damon is winding down now – a few chapters left at the very most. It has been such an adventure. These past two years have been so crazy and dramatic, and Damon, who has been the one constant in my life, has become much more than just a character in a series to me. He literally has become a man after my own heart, and I’ve relived several of my experiences through him, both directly and indirectly.

I hope you’ve enjoyed the ride so far, and that you’ll stay on till the very end. If there is any celebrity you would like to see in the series before it draws to a close (or anyone from the past you’d like to see make a reappearance), here is your chance to let me know. Please get to me (with any other comments or feedback) at rulehater@gmail.com.

JOA: DAMON’S CHRONICLES 14: Stacey Dash

Tears were streaming down Rosario Dawson’s face, the only thing visible to me in the pitch dark room. A look of pleading, of desperation, was sprawled across her face.

‘You want me, Damon,’ she was saying, ‘we are so great together, and so much in love. Please darling, do not throw that away.’

‘You know it’s me you want, sugar,’ came a sharp voice from behind. I spun around, and found myself staring into Beyoncé’s hazel eyes. A look of wanton desire, complementing the hair scattered wildly across her face, stared back at me. ‘We have fire, passion, that’s what you want.’

‘No Damon,’ my fiancée sobbed, ‘don’t leave me. We’re going to marry and have kids and spend the rest of our lives together.’

‘Come off it,’ laughed Beyoncé, ‘you ain’t woman enough for him. You can’t even do this.’

A giggling Beyoncé moved closer to me and bent down, taking my penis, which had miraculously sprung free, to her face. She winked mischievously, as she expertly brought it to her mouth.

‘Oh yes baby,’ I moaned rather loudly, ‘suck my dick.’

As I encouraged Beyoncé, I looked up at the miserable, panic-stricken face of Rosario. I wanted to say something to her, but the heat of the moment, the fervor of the fellatio, was in total control of my senses. Rosario’s face seemed to be disappearing in the mist, a thick cloud gradually concealing it by the second. I could see the fraught and desperate franticness she was conveying, and I should have told her to stop, asked her to wait, assured her that I loved her and didn’t want her to go. But all my motor senses were numbed by the pleasure I was receiving from Beyoncé’s head.

‘Don’t leave me, Damon,’ Rosario’s lips were mumbling, ‘don’t leave me.’

Just as the last of Rosario’s visage was vanishing, a flash seemed to go off in my head as I realized what was happening. I was losing my Rosario.

‘Noooooooooooo,’ I shouted, reaching forward for her face, meeting nothing but empty air, ‘Baby.’

‘It’s that good, huh?’ came a muffled but realistic voice from underneath me.

I suddenly felt my eyes open, finding myself staring the snow-white ceiling above me. I was in bed, it had been a dream, and I had not lost Rosario. But it had felt so real, so vivid, especially the blowjob from Beyoncé. In fact, it seemed as though the effects from that part of the dream had not in anyway worn off. Looking down, I caught sight of a crown of long, brown hair face deep into my crotch.

‘Beyoncé?’ I asked as it dawned on me what was going on.

‘Good morning baby,’ she said as she kissed the tip of my glistening cock.

I shut my eyes as I tried to search my conscious to find out exactly what was going on. And then it hit me; I had spent the night in my hotel room with Beyoncé Knowles. We had come across each other at her boyfriend’s nightclub, where I had persuaded her to leave with me. We had ended up talking half the night away in my room, until I allowed myself to be seduced by her – and what a seduction it had been. It had been a wild, passionate, uninhibited session.

‘So you didn’t get enough of the big man last night,’ I groaned down at her.

‘I don’t think I’ll ever get enough, Damon,’ she answered.

For such a chaste near-virgin, she did suck a good dick, and in spite of myself, I was pretty aroused. I tried to banish thoughts of Rosario from my head, though the task proved so onerous. What had my dream been telling me? Was I about to lose her? Why was I cheating on her? Was I remorseful enough? Despite sharing something so great with Rosario, had I found something equally amazing in Beyoncé? If I ended up losing her, I thought callously as I watched Beyoncé gobble my entire knob, I could wind up with not such a bad replacement.

Throes of physical pleasure seemed to be searing though my nerves as Beyoncé sucked me away. She had such a look of extreme concentration, though she appeared to be enjoying herself so much. She fondled my balls with one of her hands as my dick caressed the outer reaches of her throat. I brought my hands down to her head and held on to it as she kept sucking me, and closing my eyes in part ecstasy, I again relived the night before.

It had been such a task trying to resist her, and eventually, I had had to give in. In fact, I thought I deserved a medal for holding out as long as I did. Anyway, the tension and build-up had added to the steamy passion of the encounter, and it had been a sexual thrill like never before. It was different, much different from intercourse with Rosario. Making love to Rosario was tenderer and less urgent, built more on a deep seated affection between the two of us than ephemeral passion. Sex with Beyoncé, on the other hand, had been more intense, the pleasure derived more from the bestial urgency of the moment. And I had a feeling that Beyoncé and I had only reached the tip of the iceberg.

Sex with both women definitely was immensely pleasurable, and it was too much of an ask to decide there and then which I preferred. All I knew was that giving up Beyoncé seemed anathema at that point, when she was giving me that much pleasure. I reached for the remote on my bedside table and switched on the high tech stereo equipment. The room’s previous inhabitant seemed to have been listening to 104.3 FM, and while classic rock would not normally be my choice of station, I left it on; the Led Zeppelin song on air seemed fitting, as Beyoncé’s mouth was taking me on a Stairway to Heaven.

‘Oh yes B, I’m gon’ come now,’ I grunted.

‘Come in my mouth,’ she commanded.

Holding more firmly to her head, I tensed up my muscles, and then released as I felt my entire essence pour out of my dick into Beyoncé’s open mouth. I watched my white cream drizzle down her lips to her chin, and however hard she tried to disguise it, I could tell that the taste was not exactly what she was expecting. Still, she dutifully lapped it off, and tried to maintain a straight face as she forced it down her throat.

‘I hear it’s an acquired taste,’ I told her, ‘like caviar.’

‘It’s doesn’t taste bad at all,’ she assured, ‘but it is overrated.’

‘I wouldn’t know,’ I smiled as I reached for her.

She moved closer to me, her naked frame slithering up my body so that she was on top of me. She gave me a peck on the cheek, and began to nuzzle against my neck.

‘Someone has a taste for the Damon this morning,’ I teased.

‘You have no idea,’ she said as she kept teasing my neck, her forehead rubbing against my two-day-old stubble.

‘I always wanted to be woken up by a blowjob,’ I confided in her, ‘just one of those things I read about and wondered if it would happen to me.’

‘You mean Rosario doesn’t do that?’ she asked.

‘Can we not talk about her?’ I asked, fighting the surprisingly strong pang of guilt that attacked me.

‘I’m sorry,’ she said.

‘Not a problem,’ I answered, ‘and speaking of our other-halves, have you figured out what you’re going to tell Jay?’

‘Can we not talk about him?’ she laughed, half-joking.

‘There’s nothing I’d love more,’ I said, ‘but that situation is a bit more urgent now.’

‘Actually, it’s not so urgent anymore,’ she told me, ‘he called me about an hour ago, and I told him I’d slipped out early last night because I wasn’t feeling well.’

‘And he fell for it?’ I asked.

‘He didn’t sound suspicious,’ she told me, suddenly looking concerned, ‘I’m not sure how much he noticed my absence. He’s so used to my being there that it probably didn’t occur to him that I could be elsewhere.’

‘Where did you tell him you spent the night?’ I asked.

‘Our penthouse,’ she told me, and noticing my raised eyebrow went on, ‘I told him I had to be in the studio by 7 o’ clock, and so I couldn’t wait for him.’

‘So where is he now?’ I asked, wanting to cover my bases.

‘He’s outside the country,’ she sighed, ‘he left early this morning, and I’m supposed to join him later in the day. I’ll try and wriggle out of it if I can. What do you have planned for today?’

‘I was planning to stay here in bed with you all day,’ I joked, ‘but since you ain’t gonna be here, I’ll probably just return to LA sometime today.’

‘No,’ she exclaimed, panic-stricken, ‘I thought you’d hang around town a few more days.’

‘I’ve got a business to run,’ I told her, ‘and a daughter to get back to.’

‘You have a daughter?’ she asked me.

‘Did I not mention it?’ I asked, reaching for my wallet to pull out a picture. ‘Her name’s Kacy and she’s the most beautiful little girl on this earth.’

‘She is beautiful,’ she agreed, staring at the picture, ‘I’m confused though, I didn’t know Rosario was…or is she…’

‘Nah,’ I laughed, ‘she’s not Rosario’s. I had her with Maria, an old friend of mine.’

‘An ex?’ she inquired.

‘Not at all,’ I told her, ‘she’s been a good friend forever, but we got carried away once. It had a few fucked-up consequences, which I’ll tell you about someday, but one look at Kacy drove away any regrets.’

‘I can’t wait to see her,’ she said, ‘I love babies so much. I can’t wait to have some of mine.’

‘I bet they’d be beautiful, like their mom,’ I said.

‘Oh, you flatter me,’ she said, reaching for a kiss.

‘I don’t think you wanna do that,’ I laughed, ‘with my morning breath and all.’

‘I don’t care,’ she giggled as she kissed me.

As I began to kiss her back, I heard my phone ring. My initial inclination was to ignore it, as it might be Rosario. Then I realized that I wanted to hear Rosario’s voice at that instant, perhaps only to validate the fact that it was imperative for me to take a decision very soon. Reaching into the pocket of my pants from the previous night, I gasped when I saw the name flashing on the caller screen.

‘It’s Jigga,’ I whispered to Beyoncé, wondering if I looked as mortified as I felt.

‘Oh my God, Jay calling you? He must know,’ she answered with what must have been the least reassuring statement ever.

I resolved to remain cool and collected. Even if he was aware that I had spent the night with his girl, I was not going to be fazed. After all, I was not some nobody that he could intimidate. I was also a Hollywood power player, with as much clout, even though not wealth, as him. If he lost his girl to me, he had no choice but to take it like a man. I almost laughed at myself for my earlier reaction as I answered the phone.

‘Damon speaking,’ I said into my cell.

‘What’s going down homeboy? It’s Hov speaking.’ He sounded cheerful enough; maybe he was trying to catch me off guard.

‘Hey, what a surprise,’ I answered. ‘I was just thinking about what a great time I had at your club last night. Nice place you got there.’

‘Good to hear that,’ he said, ‘sorry we didn’t get to kick it before we left. I actually need to talk to you.’

‘Talk to me?’ I was toast. ‘What about?’

‘I’m not about to get into all of that over the phone. Why don’t we do it over the weekend?’

‘I’m in town,’ I said, ‘I was planning to leave for Cali today, but maybe we could get together for lunch or something before I go.’ I glanced across at Beyoncé, who was frantically pacing the room and putting on her clothes. I tried to gesture at her to calm down, but she scarcely understood.

‘I have another idea,’ Jay said, ‘why don’t you delay your trip back for another few days?’

‘I beg your pardon?’ I asked incredulously. The dude couldn’t just request that I altered my arrangements at the drop of a hat.

‘I realize you were going to be around town for much longer, but your plans had to change when your girl had to get back to her movie,’ he told me.

‘How do you know all of that?’ I asked him.

‘Come on Damon,’ he answered, laughing, ‘we both know I run this city, and not much escapes my attention.’

Did he know that at that minute, his Beyoncé was actually in my room, fresh from spending the night with me? I strongly suspected that he had at least a whiff of an idea, but something told me that he did not call me to pick a fight.

‘So you’re monitoring my movement like that?’ I asked sharply.

‘Relax Damon, I had you going there for a minute,’ he laughed, ‘Truth is that I bumped into your girl at the airport yesterday morning.’

‘Rosario?’ I asked.

‘That’s right, dawg,’ he replied.

‘I didn’t know that you two knew each other,’ I remarked, taken aback at the coincidence.

‘Me and her go back like babies and pacifiers, man,’ he noted, ‘really classy lady you’ve got there.’

‘Thanks,’ I said gently, again looking up at Beyoncé, who was frowning in my direction.

‘I was planning to invite you both down to the Bahamas for the weekend,’ he said, ‘that’s where I be at the moment.’

‘Bahamas?’ I asked, quite shocked at developments, ‘this weekend?’

‘I got a villa down there, really beautiful place, set me back about 20 mil,’ he said, ‘every few months, me and Dame take some down time from work, come down here with some peeps and generally wild out.’

Dame was Damon Dash, Jay-Z’s best friend and business partner, co-owner of the record label as well as numerous other ventures. A loud, rambunctious, and rather talkative character, he was largely responsible for the business side of their partnership while Jay overlooked the creative aspect.

‘So you’re inviting us to join you?’ I asked, somewhat apprehensive.

‘Yeah,’ he said, ‘it would be dope if you could make it. I’ve been meaning to invite you for years, but I just never got the opportunity. So what’s it gonna be?’

‘I don’t know if Rosario’s gonna be able to make it,’ I said, ‘unless she told you otherwise.’

‘She actually said she was busy, but it all depended on you,’ he told me.

‘It sounds great,’ I said, ‘I need to give it a bit more thought. I assume you’ll be flying me over in your private plane.’

‘Naturally,’ he said, ‘it’s actually on its way back to New York now, maybe you could get on the next flight back here.’

‘Damn, it must be great to be rich,’ I joked.

‘It’s fucking great,’ he cackled.

‘Anyway, I’ll get back to you in an hour and let you know for sure,’ I said into the phone.

‘I’m counting on you being there, nigga,’ he told me as he signed off, ‘this is gonna be a weekend you don’t wanna miss.’

‘I’ll see what I can do,’ I said, hanging up.

‘That was a long conversation,’ Beyoncé’s voice came, jolting me. I had almost forgotten she was present.

‘Your man just invited me to the Bahamas for the weekend,’ I informed her.

‘I figured that out,’ she said. ‘I’m going to be there as well.’

‘I thought as much,’ I said.

‘Damon, I’m really looking forward to this,’ she said excitedly.

‘Really?’ I asked, ‘I thought you were trying to wriggle out of it.’ I was quite surprised she wanted me to be there, as I wouldn’t have imagined she would want to be around both me and Jay-Z, and possibly Rosario, for such a long stretch.

‘Bahamas is such a beautiful place, and the villa is simply heavenly. We’d have so much fun,’ she was swooning.

‘I think you’re forgetting the fact that there’ll be several prying eyes, not least Jay-Z’s,’ I said.

‘He won’t keep such strict watch all the time,’ she said, ‘and we will definitely find time to be alone. I was dreading this trip since it was going to be the same boring bunch, but if you’re there, it’ll be so much better.’

‘Who else is going to be there?’ I asked.

‘Jay, Dame, Biggs,’ she said, ‘probably other rappers from the label. The same old bunch – probably Memphis Bleek, Kanye, Freeway…Beanie Sigel won’t be around, obviously, since he’s in jail. Cam’Ron was there a few times, but I don’t think he’ll be there this time around. There was a bit of friction between him and Jay.’

‘I would imagine,’ I laughed, ‘so, just rappers then?’

‘Not quite,’ she said, ‘sometimes there’s a bunch of these bigwigs that Shawn does business with, and their wives or girlfriends. They spend the entire time playing golf and talking business.’

‘I can’t wait,’ I said with a touch of sarcasm. ‘I wonder why he is inviting me though. He mentioned something about some business proposition last night at the club.’

‘I doubt that,’ she said, ‘it’s probably just because he no longer sees you as a threat.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘He thought about inviting you last year and the year before, but he was jealous.’

‘Jealous of what?’ I asked.

‘I accidentally let it slip to him when we started dating that I had a big crush on you. He’s been wary of you ever since.’

‘And what has changed now?’ I asked.

‘Since you are engaged now,’ she told me, ‘he probably doesn’t expect that you would try to steal me from him.’

‘If he only knew how wrong he was on that count,’ I smirked.

‘So, is Rosario going to be there?’ she asked me.

‘I’m not sure,’ I said, ‘since we ain’t exactly on speaking terms now, but I could call her and ask her down.’

‘That might be a good idea,’ she announced, shocking me to no end.

‘Really?’

‘Think about it,’ she said, ‘if she’s there, then nobody is likely to be suspicious about either of us.’

‘Good thinking,’ I said.

‘Give her a call,’ Beyoncé said as she moved towards the door, ‘it is going to be hard seeing you with her, but I think I’m up to the challenge.

‘Are you leaving?’ I asked her.

‘I have to, sugar,’ she said, walking towards me as she put on her sunglasses from the night before, ‘I’ll see you in Bahamas.’

‘When do you leave?’ I asked.

‘The plane leaves New Jersey in a few hours,’ she said, a look of determination suddenly coming across her face. ‘Why don’t you come along on that flight?’

‘That might be a bit risky,’ I said cautiously.

‘Come on, think about it,’ she said, moving to me and pressing her body against mine, ‘it’ll be so much fun, and Jay won’t be there.’ She lowered her voice as she moved her face to my neck. ‘Imagine being so high up in the air, just the two of us…’

‘Alright,’ I conceded, ‘I’ll see what I can do.’

‘I can’t wait till we don’t have to sneak around anymore,’ she said, tiptoeing as she planted a deep one on my lips.

‘Me too,’ I mumbled, staring at her booty as she walked outside the door.

The prospect of a weekend in Bahamas with Beyoncé seemed more and more appealing as the day wore on. However, the issue of whether or not to bring along Rosario had me on tenterhooks. Even if we managed to overcome the lover’s spat we had gotten into before her departure for Vancouver, it would be quite foolhardy stringing along both women during the period which we were there.

Like Beyoncé had said, Rosie’s presence could be to my advantage in deflecting suspicion. Beyoncé and I would both be present with our significant others, and no one would expect us to be playing together behind their backs. As such, I decided to give Rosario a call.

‘Damon, is that you?’ she asked when she picked up her mobile phone. I could make out Gwen Stefani blaring from the background.

‘Rosie, what are you up to?’

‘I’m having the time of my life, come join me, baby’ she yelled, her voice hearty and airy as the song she was listening to reached the chorus. Excitedly, she sang along with the music, ‘A few times I’ve been around that track, so it’s not just gonna happen like that, because I ain’t your hollaback girl, I ain’t your…’

‘Are you stoned, Rosie?’ I asked concernedly.

‘It was just a little,’ she whined, ‘I didn’t abuse it or anything.’

‘But baby, you promised not to touch that shit anymore,’ I said pleadingly, ‘why are you doing this to yourself?’

‘Relax, Damon,’ she snapped, ‘I haven’t touched it for months, I just thought I’d reward myself…oh wait a minute, here’s my favorite part of the song, let me hear you say this shit is bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S…’

‘Could you just keep shut for a second here?’ I barked, ‘I’m trying to talk to you.’

‘This shit is bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S,’ she went on.

‘Shut the fuck up,’ I bellowed, ‘what the fuck is wrong with you? God, you walk out on me in New York even though we planned to spend all week together, and then I don’t hear from you for 24 hours, and when I finally call, you’re high as fuck. Can’t you keep serious for a bloody second?’

‘It was only a little coke,’ she complained like a petulant child.

‘I don’t care what the fuck it was, you promised you’d stay clean from now on.’

‘I didn’t take any pills,’ she grumbled.

‘Anyway, I didn’t call to get into another argument,’ I said resignedly, ‘I just needed to talk about this weekend.’

‘Are you going to the Bahamas without me?’ she asked.

‘So you really did see Jay-Z yesterday,’ I said.

‘He was flying in when I got to the airport,’ she explained, ‘we spoke for up to an hour before my plane had to leave.’

For some reason, I found this bothersome. ‘What in the world did you two talk about for that long?’ I asked.

‘Mind your business, buster,’ she said in an annoying singsong voice, ‘it was just normal stuff, his career, my career, all that jazz.’

‘According to him,’ I said, ‘you two go back like babies and binkies. Or was it pacifiers?’

‘Yeah, we dated a few times,’ she said casually.

‘What?’ I almost dropped the phone.

‘It was nothing serious, we went on a few dates about four years ago. I’d just broken up with Josh Jackson then, and thought I’d go with a rapper for a while,’ she said.

‘And you never thought to tell me all this while?’ I roared. ‘How the fuck could you not tell me?’

‘It never came up,’ she simply said.

‘It never came up?’ I was furious, ‘How could that sort of information never come up?’

‘You’re one to talk,’ she was suddenly alert, ‘I’ve never asked you about everyone you were with before me, I never even mention the fact that the first time I ever saw your dick, you were naked in a pool with one of my best friends. You are so two-faced.’

‘God, I don’t fucking need this,’ I said as I angrily hung up the phone.

I angrily paced my hotel room as I packed my things into my bag. Rosario had once dated Jay-Z? The coincidence was much too great for me to bear. I toyed with thoughts of calling my Bahamian weekend off, but I decided to go through with it. I tried to put all those thoughts away as I called for the limo to get me to the airport. After all, it was all the more reason to get back at Jay by getting my sexual fill of his girl all weekend long.

My mood was foul throughout the one hour limo ride from my hotel to Teterboro Airport, the landing strip in New Jersey primarily used by private plane owners. My emotions flip-flopped from anger at Rosario for resuming her drug intake to guilt at snapping at her in such a shabby way. She might have pissed me off, but considering all of what had transpired from the night before, I was still the bad guy here.

But how could she have gone out with Jay-Z, however long ago it was? I’d never even gotten as much as a whiff of a clue. The coincidences were unfolding at such a rapid rate, and I felt myself getting overwhelmed. It had been such a bizarre 36 or so hours, and my behavior through the period had been far from exemplary. I felt like I was being pulled down some pathway, and I possessed zero ability to fight back.

Talking to Rosie, however, had provided something of a jolt, and all of a sudden, my physical desire for Beyoncé didn’t seem the be-all and end-all of my existence. I needed to clear the air with my betrothed before proceeding with the weekend.

‘Is that you, Damon,’ sniffed Rosario when she answered the phone.

‘Baby, are you crying?’ I asked, my heart softening, ‘Oh baby, I didn’t mean to make you cry.’

‘Oh Damon, I’m so sorry,’ she sobbed.

‘No, don’t be silly,’ I said, ‘I’m the one who should be sorry, I never should have gotten like that with you.’

‘I know I shouldn’t never have taken any thing,’ she continued, ‘but baby, I got so scared, I couldn’t help myself.’

‘Scared?’ I asked. ‘What of?’

‘I had this dream that you were going to leave me,’ she told me, ‘it felt so real, you told me you didn’t want me no more, and there was nothing I could do to stop you.’

‘Baby, don’t be ridiculous, that’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.’ I tried to sound calm, concealing the panic I felt underneath at the verisimilitude to the dream I’d also had the night before.

‘I don’t like the way it feels, Damon,’ she said, ‘I feel so lost without you.’

‘Ain’t nothing wrong with that,’ I responded, ‘I’m also lost without you.’

‘You don’t understand,’ she sniffed, her voice becoming slightly more coherent, ‘I pride myself on being a totally independent woman.’ Was her use of the phrase ‘independent woman’ merely a coincidence, I thought to myself as I shuddered. She went on.

‘I always told myself that I’d never allow myself to be completely dependent on my partner, like all of those annoying girls who can’t do anything without the consent of their boyfriends or husbands. That’s why my previous relationships broke up, because my boyfriends felt threatened that I didn’t need them, or that I was perfectly fine if I didn’t have them.

‘But with you, it’s different,’ she continued. ‘I feel so helpless when you’re not around, and I can’t start to imagine my life if you’re not in it. When I walked out on you in New York, it was because I was mad at myself. When you asked me to decrease my acting load once we got married, it confirmed my worst fears. I don’t want to be one of those women who can’t survive without their man.’

‘Rosie, things change,’ I told her, ‘before you, I never even thought I’d find someone I’d want to be with for more than a month. Sure, it’s scary, but that’s what makes it fun, that’s what makes it love.’

‘When I dreamt you were going to leave me,’ she said, ‘I was so terrified, I was so numb when I woke up, then I told myself that I had to be prepared for the possibility that it might not be forever.’

‘Of course it’s forever, baby,’ I assured her, ‘I love you so much, and I intend to marry you, and nothing is ever going to change that.’

‘So you’re not leaving me?’ she asked.

‘Where on earth would you get such a thought from?’ I chided, ‘I’m crazy about you, I want to have a family with you. I have no desire, no intention to be with anyone but you.’ As I spoke, I realized that my words were truly in all sincerity. How could I have considered throwing this away on the basis of one night of passion, however intense?

‘Do you really mean that?’ she asked.

‘Damn, what’s with the paranoia?’ I teasingly snapped, ‘of course I mean every word I said.’

‘Good,’ she declared, ‘because if you ever decided to leave me, I’d be forced to kill you, and I don’t want to have to do that.’

‘Don’t be silly,’ I chuckled, ‘you’d spend the rest of your natural life in prison.’

‘I’m a celebrity, remember,’ she giggled, ‘I only have to hire a brilliant attorney, plead diminished responsibility or something like that, and get off with a year’s probation. I’ll be a free woman, and you won’t be around to look so pleased with yourself.’

‘Have I told you lately that I loved you?’ I asked.

‘Not often enough,’ she joked.

‘Well darling, I just want you to know that whatever happens, that is something you can count on, it’ll never change.’

‘I love you too, Damon,’ she said, ‘and by the way, I’m sorry I never told you about Jay-Z, it really was nothing.’

‘I shouldn’t have reacted that way,’ I conceded, ‘it really isn’t a big deal, it just threw me for a loop.’

‘We just escorted each other to a few parties, and that was that,’ she said, ‘it never went anywhere.’

‘So you didn’t sleep with him,’ I confirmed.

‘Of course not,’ she raised her voice, ‘what do you take me for? Besides, even if I’d wanted to, which I didn’t, he never even made one move on me the 4 or 5 times we went out. He was a perfect gentleman throughout.’

‘I see,’ I said, not bothering to conceal the relief I felt.

‘Are you on your way to Bahamas now?’ she asked me.

‘I’m in the car, off to the airport,’ I told her, ‘do you want me to blow this off and come join you out there?’

‘I wish I could say yes,’ she answered, ‘but I’m hard at work, and you’ll only serve to distract me.’

‘How’s the movie going anyway?’ I inquired, ‘word I hear is that it’s is going to blow everybody away when it comes out in theaters.’

‘No doubt,’ she boasted, ‘and if I may say so myself, I am going to fucking own this movie, you’ll see.’

‘I can’t wait,’ I laughed.

‘Anyway,’ she said, ‘you go along and have fun without me, and make sure you don’t play around with no island girls.’

‘You bet,’ I said lightly.

‘Anyway, I have to run off now, OK?’ she said, blowing a kiss at me through the phone.

I stared at the phone for a few seconds, as though willing her to come out of it, before hanging up and sticking it in my coat pocket. The car was just about reaching the airport, and my heart sank as I realized the enormity of the task ahead. I had to end things with Beyoncé with immediate effect, however hard it was going to be. I was in love with Rosario, and that’s all there was to it. She might have had her faults, but those imperfections were part of the complete package that constituted her, that made her the amazing person she was, the woman I was going to marry.

Disembarking from the limousine once the chauffeur opened the door, I composed myself as I stared ahead at the aircraft that stood before me, the vessel that was about to take me to my Waterloo.

From where I stood, Jay-Z’s plane was simply a beauty to behold, and in spite of myself, I had to inwardly marvel. Of course, in the course of my stint as an agent, I’d been in more than enough private jets while hobnobbing with rich and mighty clients, but the one I was about to enter had to be among the most attractive. Snow white in color, it had the letters ROC boldly and beautifully emblazoned on the wings.

I noticed that Beyoncé had already arrived; I could make her out in the midst of a large posse at the foot of the stairs leading into the plane. Unsure of how to comport myself in her presence, particularly in view of what was about to transpire, I maintained a stoic countenance as I approached. She looked so resplendently gorgeous from where I was standing, in a gold lamé outfit, the shiny pants accentuating her curvaceous hips. Despite this, I steadfastly told myself not to be deterred. Our affair had to be nipped in the bud as soon as possible.

I was not under any illusions that it was going to be an easy task resisting her. There was that undeniable physical chemistry between us, and she had to be one of the most perfect creatures on the planet. But despite the mitigating factors in my favor, such as the fact that she was the one who had done all the seducing, and I had held out for so long, I was aware that I should not have allowed myself to fall.

As I moved closer, it shocked me to see the identity of Beyoncé’s companions. Had I known that the entire Knowles clan would be present, I would definitely have reconsidered my trip. I forced a smile as I said hello to a flamboyantly dressed Tina Knowles, Beyoncé’s mom, who enveloped me in a hug, holding me for a great deal longer than was necessary. Matthew Knowles, decked in a suit, shook my hand warmly, a broad smile plastered across his face. Considering all the statements he had made to the press in recent weeks about how much he was in opposition to his daughter dating Shawn Carter, he did not look at all displeased to be taking a trip in the man’s plane.

‘Here’s the man who is going to make my daughter a big movie star,’ he said, still holding on to my hand.

‘She’d be even bigger if you let me,’ I joked.

‘My baby girl is not going to take off her clothes or make love to no naked man on screen for the whole world to see, like in those scripts you always send,’ he pressed.

‘Fair enough,’ I said, not wanting to get into an argument. If he thought it was OK for his daughter to prance around in next to nothing in her videos with Jay-Z soaking her with a fire hydrant, but she could not shed a few clothes in a tastefully directed drama that could fetch her an award nomination, it was quite frankly his problem. I turned to say hello to the rest of the group, who included Solangé, Beyoncé’s younger sister, who was carrying a toddler in her arms, as well as Michelle Williams of Destiny’s Child. I was about to ask of Kelly Rowland, the third member, but I thought better of it. I addressed Beyoncé last.

‘So how are you doing, B?’ I asked, trying to remain normal and as immune as possible from her charms.

‘Hello Damon,’ she breathed excitedly, ‘I’m so glad you could make it.’ Lust and desire seemed to be oozing out of every pore of her body, and I wondered why she couldn’t make an effort to disguise it in the presence of her folks. No one present seemed to be notice though, although I thought I suspected a gleam in Michelle William’s eyes as she regarded us both.

‘So, I’ll go into the plane and make myself comfortable,’ I told the group.

I looked back at Beyoncé as I made my way into the aircraft, and for a brief moment, felt my resolve weaken. However, all I had to do was think about Rosario and how much I didn’t want to lose her, and then I made my mind up that I was going to have to sound the death knell on our continued fraternization.

40,000 feet in the air and cruising, I released myself from the chair onto which I had been strapped for take-off, and again regarded the private VIP suite which I had been allotted. While I was sure it was not the most luxurious on board, it certainly was not to be sneered at, and it left me wondering why Jay-Z and his crew were going to such lengths. I’d been welcomed onto the plane by a comely, olive-skinned flight attendant, who informed me that, on the boss’ orders, I was to be given extra-special VIP treatment, which included the room in which I now sat alone.

It was indeed quite magnificent, and I had to admire Jay’s style. Three of the walls were paneled in rich teak, while the fourth was a giant screen TV, accompanied by several high-tech gadgets. There was a mini bar, fully stocked with an array of miniature bottles, and I’d immediately walked over to pour myself an Armadale vodka before settling onto the deluxe settee and switching on the TV.

I was aware that there were several other people on board, and at some point, I was going to have to come out of the safety of my room and at least say hello. But I was not looking forward to facing Beyoncé; I still did not know where the strength was going to come from to carry out my plan. With that in mind, I brought out my laptop and began to do some work. I’d taken so many days off work, and my duties were beginning to pile-up. Thankfully, Kimberley, the stewardess who had welcomed me on board had informed me that high speed internet was available. She had also let me know that if I were in need of anything else, with a not-so-subtle emphasis on the ‘anything,’ I was to let her know. Averting my eyes from her healthily-tanned, long legs, generously exposed from underneath her blue micro-skirt, I’d told her that I was going to be fine. As gorgeous as she was, the last thing on my mind was hooking up with her, or any other chick for that matter.

I’d been at work for barely a half-hour when I heard a tap on my door. I warily stood up as I went to it, wondering who it could be. Surely, Beyoncé couldn’t be making her way to see me, she couldn’t be that careless. It had to be a member of the plane’s crew, perhaps with lunch or something, I thought as I opened the door. I was surprised to see Michelle, the Destiny’s Child member whom I had seen with Beyoncé earlier.

‘Wow, hi Michelle,’ I greeted her, my surprise evident.

‘Hello,’ she said demurely, her eyes not meeting mine, ‘I have a letter for you.’

I didn’t need to ask who it was from, and I began to panic as she handed it to me, wondering what was in it. Michelle had a guilty, cautious look on her face, as though she wanted no part of what she had gotten into, and I suspected that Beyoncé had had to twist her arm in order to get her to do her bidding.

‘Wanna come in?’ I asked her. It was more out of being polite than anything else, and I was thrown aback when she shrugged positively. I shifted aside as I made way for her through the door, taking in her flowery scent as she passed. She was much prettier in person, I thought to myself as I observed her.

‘So, looking forward to the fun weekend?’ I asked her, trying to make conversation. She shrugged indecisively, as though she didn’t care one way or the other.

‘How come Kelly didn’t make it?’ I tried again. Perhaps I would receive an answer this time around.

‘She’s busy on her new album,’ she said quietly.

‘I didn’t know she was doing another one,’ I commented, ‘the last one wasn’t bad. So I guess that’s it for Destiny’s Child.’

‘Well, we all are recording new solo albums,’ she said, the longest I’d ever heard her speak, ‘we may or may not record a group album sometime in the future.’

‘You wanna hear something?’ I asked.

‘What’s that?’ she said, her eyes shining.

‘I liked your solo record best out of all three of you,’ I said truthfully.

‘Oh really,’ she smiled, even though I could see she did not fully believe me.

‘Honest,’ I said, ‘Beyoncé and Kelly had great albums, but there were too many over-produced pop songs. Yours was pure soul and gospel, and I was feeling that. Reminded me of all those records my Mama used to play when I was a kid. And your voice has this real soft, soulful vibe.’

‘Thanks, I really appreciate that,’ she gushed. I could tell that it meant a lot to her.

‘I’m sorry, I’m so rude,’ I said, ‘I didn’t even offer you something to drink. Perhaps some Alizé or I could open a bottle of wine.’

‘I don’t drink,’ she said apologetically.

‘How about a soda then?’ I asked.

‘Thanks,’ she said, reaching into the refrigerator for a Mountain Dew.

‘Look, Damon,’ she said after a few gulps, ‘we don’t really know each other, but I can tell that you’re a good guy from talking to you, and I just felt I should say something.’

‘What’s that?’

‘Just be careful, OK,’ she said with a look of touching concern.

‘Careful about what?’ I asked, even though I could already guess where she was going.

‘I don’t know what’s in that letter I just gave to you, and frankly, it really is none of my business, but I’m not so stupid that I don’t have an idea of what’s going on.’

‘Oh,’ I said.

‘You don’t want to get involved with these people, they are really dangerous, and can manipulate you. I don’t see a happy ending here, and I don’t want you ending up like a lot of other people I’ve watched get involved with any of them,’ she went on rather animatedly.

‘Wow,’ I exclaimed. ‘Thanks for your concern, but I think I can handle anything Jay-Z throws at me if it comes to that.’

‘Jay-Z?’ she looked puzzled. ‘I wasn’t talking about Jay-Z.’

‘What then?’ I asked, myself quite perplexed. What else would she be warning me about?

She suddenly had a look of fear on her face, as though realizing she’d said too much. She glared at me with panic, her eyes almost pleading.

‘You know, never mind,’ she said, ‘I really didn’t mean anything by that.’

‘Who were you warning me against?’ I still probed, ‘The Knowles family?’

I knew I’d hit upon the right answer from the look on her face. It was one of alarmed trepidation, and my heart went out to her. I smiled at her reassuringly, and I could feel her calm down slightly.

‘Damon, I didn’t mean to say anything,’ she said.

‘Look, it’s alright,’ I guaranteed her, ‘I appreciate it, and besides, you didn’t reveal anything surprising. I don’t know what you think is going on, but I’m not involved with Beyoncé like that, OK?’

She obviously didn’t believe me, but seemed satisfied by my answer. She smiled feebly at me, causing me to grin. She seemed a really good, innocent girl, and I wondered what could have happened to make her fear the Knowles’ so much.

‘Come here,’ I said, spreading my arms, ‘give me a hug.’

She hesitated for a second before moving closer, her body touching mine. I enveloped her with my large hands, and after a while, she did the same, her soft palms on my back. I didn’t know why I was hugging her; it certainly wasn’t anything romantic. I just had this urge to protect her as best as I could.

‘Don’t worry, I’m not gonna tell nobody what you said,’ I said gently into her ear.

Suddenly, the door to my room opened, a stewardess with a trolley gasping at the doorway.

‘Oh, so sorry to interrupt,’ the stewardess said. ‘Michelle is that you?’

Michelle turned around and smiled, looking embarrassed. I was wondering what was going on, and why a mere flight attendant should just barge in without knocking and not even think to leave immediately when she saw that she had interrupted something. However, she did not seem to be just any waitress.

‘No, it’s not even like that,’ Michelle was explaining amidst giggles.

‘It’s OK girl, do your thing, I ain’t hating,’ she responded cheerfully to Michelle.

‘Wait a minute,’ I said upon closer examination of the new entrant, ‘aren’t you Stacey Dash?’

It was indeed actress Stacey Dash of ‘Clueless’ fame, except she was dressed in the same uniform the other stewardesses had on, only slightly shorter. I knew she hadn’t exactly been the busiest of actors for years, but it would be a surprise if she had come down to having to moonlight as an air hostess. Then it occurred to me that she was related to Damon Dash, Jay-Z’s business partner, which explained her presence on the plane. But why was she dressed as a stewardess?

‘And you must be Damon,’ Stacey said merrily, ‘I heard you were on board, and was coming to meet you. I didn’t reckon you’d be…umm…busy.’

‘Nah,’ I laughed, ‘Michelle and I wasn’t getting down like that. Right, Michelle?’

‘He’s right,’ Michelle explained.

‘If you say so,’ sneered Stacey, although she clearly didn’t believe.

‘I have to get going now,’ Michelle announced, ‘Beyoncé must be worried sick wondering what’s going on with me?’

‘No sweat,’ I said to her, ‘and thanks for everything.’

‘I’m a big fan of yours, Ms. Dash,’ I said after Michelle had left. ‘Great to finally get to meet you.’

‘Pleasure’s all mine,’ she said, smiling sweetly as she extended a hand.

She was quite diminutive in stature, with shiny ebony skin and long, braided hair. The blue waitress’ uniform clung tightly to her, revealing her alluring shape which lay underneath. Her face was covered in a slight sheen of sweat, which made her look even prettier. She seemed to be eyeing me with interest.

‘Sorry for interrupting what you had going on there,’ she said again, ‘I should have knocked.’

‘Once again,’ I said patiently, ‘Michelle and I weren’t doing nothing, it was my first time ever talking to her, and we was just kicking it, that’s all.’

‘Good,’ she beamed, ‘I was beginning to worry about the poor girl.’

‘I beg your pardon?’ I asked.

‘Come on,’ she said, ‘the girl’s a poor, innocent darling, and I wouldn’t want to see her heart get broken.’

‘What makes you think I’m the kind of guy to play her, hypothetically speaking,’ I challenged.

‘Come on, your reputation precedes you,’ she said, ‘I’d heard so much about you, so I was really looking forward to meeting you when I heard you were coming along this trip.’

‘I wonder where this reputation of mine is coming from,’ I genuinely pondered. Of course, I knew I was no monk, and while I’d bedded my fair share of honeys, I wasn’t as lecherous as all of Hollywood seemed to believe.

‘Anyway,’ she said, ‘it’s really nice finally meeting you, and I must say that you measure up to what I expect.’

‘You flatter me, Ms. Dash, sorry, Stacey,’ I corrected myself. ‘I’m also thrilled to meet you. You look so much hotter in person, and believe me, that’s saying a lot.’

‘Thank you,’ she beamed.

‘I’ve been a big fan of yours ever since back in the day,’ I told her, ‘ever since that movie with you and Damon Wayans.’

‘Mo’ Money?’ she asked.

‘Yeah Mo’ Money,’ I confirmed, ‘my buddies and I must have watched it over a million times back in freshman year of college.’

‘Now, you’re making me feel old,’ she grumbled.

It dawned on me then that Stacey Dash was indeed not so young, and if my estimations were correct, was only a year or two away from 40. It was quite shocking really; she could still very easily pass for teenage Dionne in Clueless. Her career had never really caught on, despite the raves she got from that movie. I had to strain to remember anything she had done since, which was quite tragic, really, as she definitely was an actress with a lot of potential, and could have been as big as, say a Halle Berry, if she had gotten the right breaks. Then again, Alicia Silverstone herself wasn’t exactly setting Hollywood on fire. Who would have thought that ten years after Clueless, good old Donald Faison would be the most visible alum?

‘You? Old?’ I asked incredulously.

‘Do you flatter every woman you meet this way, or is it just me?’ she teased.

‘I’m an agent, we’re reputed to have the gift of gab,’ I joked, ‘but in your case, I haven’t even had to do any smooth talking. I’m just telling it like it is.’

‘I see then,’ she laughed.

‘You know,’ I said, reaching into my shirt pocket for a business card, ‘maybe you and I could get together sometime to talk about representation. It would be an honor to be your agent.’

‘Thanks a lot,’ she looked flattered, ‘but that won’t really be necessary.’

‘I take it you’re remaining loyal to whomever you’re with,’ I said, ‘that’s cool, but we could really take you places at Shooting Star.’

‘That would be nice,’ she said, ‘except that I’m retired.’

‘Retired?’ I asked, surprised, ‘why on earth would you do such a thing?’

‘I’m a married woman,’ she shrugged, flashing her ring finger, ‘and besides, I feel like doing stuff else besides acting.’

‘Like what?’

‘I’m directing these days,’ she said proudly, ‘my directorial debut should be out in a few months.’

‘That’s great,’ I said wide-eyed, ‘congratulations.’

‘Thanks,’ she swooned.

‘You know, that still does not explain why we can’t represent you. I represent some of the biggest directors in the business,’ I went on with pride, ‘Ridley Scott, Steven Soderbergh, Rob Cohen, even Spike Lee.’

‘I’m just not sure I need an agent,’ she explained, ‘all the directing I’m doing is strictly in-house.’

‘In-house?’ I asked.

‘I’m an assistant producer with Roc-A-Fella Films,’ she said, ‘it started out as a favor I was doing for my Dame, but I found out I had a knack for it.’

‘Oh, that’s interesting,’ I smiled. Jay-Z and Damon Dash’s vast empire did indeed include a movie company, which had produced 3 or 4 low budget indie movies over the past few years.

‘So, you work for your cousin,’ I said.

‘You could say so,’ she said, ‘it’s a pretty informal arrangement, and bringing in an agent would make things a bit complicated.’

‘So, does your working for him also include shifts working as a stewardess on his plane?’ I asked in mock seriousness.

She laughed, ‘It is a little fantasy of my husband’s. He’s always had this longtime fantasy of making love to an airline hostess, and every time we were in the air, he always made me dress as one. The habit just kinda caught on.’

‘That’s pretty kinky,’ I said, my thoughts focusing on Stacey’s short dress hiked up as she rode her husband’s dick.

‘Is he here now?’ I asked.

‘He couldn’t make it,’ she said.

‘Oh, I’m sorry,’ I commiserated.

‘Don’t be,’ she said, her eyes twinkling, ‘there’s plenty of ways I can have fun.’

Her tone couldn’t have been more suggestive, and if it were before Rosario, I would have loved nothing more than to comply. Stacey Dash would be far from a terrible notch added to my bedpost. But it wasn’t even an option with my current situation. Damn, why couldn’t all these honeys have come on to me when I was still single?

‘My fiancée couldn’t make it as well,’ I told her, more to mark a boundary than anything else. My ploy did not seem to ward her off.

‘That’s good then,’ she said, ‘the makes it even easier.’

She moved closer to me, grabbed my tie and began to flick it between her fingers. It looked innocent enough, albeit seductive. However, there was something familiar about her scent.

‘Are you suggesting what I think you are?’ I asked warily.

‘And what would that be?’ she asked as her other hand crept to my behind and suddenly grabbed my tush.

I quickly jumped forward, only to find that my body was now in contact with hers. She had a mischievous smile twitching on her lips, a look of victory on her face. Was this what the rest of my life was going to be like now? Turning down advances from insanely gorgeous women?

‘Stacey, I can’t do this,’ I calmly explained, pushing her away.

She looked shocked and hurt, but tried to conceal it. ‘It’s no problem,’ she said.

‘You’re married, and I’m engaged to be,’ I said as she moved towards the door.

‘I got my eye on you, Damon,’ she said as she moved towards the door, ‘I’m going to be seeing a lot of you, and not just this weekend. And I always get what I want,’

‘You don’t say,’ I sneered.

‘Just watch and see,’ she said softly, wetting her lips seductively as she turned away and slunk out the door.

I shook my head in mild amusement, before my mind turned to Michelle and her bizarre warning. What had she been trying to tell me? I had heard stories of the shoddy manner in which Beyoncé’s family treated everyone they termed as possible competition for any of their daughters, and I knew that Matthew Knowles wasn’t exactly a pleasant man, but why would any of that be a problem to me? It was not like I had any plans to marry Beyoncé. Of course, it dawned on me that if indeed I did leave my fiancée for her, which was not so far-fetched after all that had gone down, it would definitely be termed serious, and her parents definitely would get involved.

I fished out the note which Beyoncé had sent to me through Michelle. I smiled, admiring the poetry within as I surveyed the contents of her missive. She was, after all, a Grammy winning songwriter. It read,

Damon baby,

It’s so unbearable, thinking about you this much, knowing you are but a few feet away from me, and I can’t do anything about you. My body is in a fever, shivers running down my spine, I can’t wait till I feel your hands touch me. Could this be real, this feeling that I feel? I’m almost scared to wake up from this lovely dream because I’ve never felt like this before.

I wish I could be the one with you there now instead of Michelle, but it would arouse too much suspicion. We’ll be together in a few hours baby, and you’ll be able to take me to the heights you did last night, and more. Thinking of you,

B.

I read it at least three times before slipping it back in my pocket, my mind now literally a stormy whirlwind. It seemed that Beyoncé really was for real. How did I face her now and tell her that I wanted to quit things? Sitting back down and pouring myself another double-vodka, I prayed that I’d find the most credible resolution that would result in minimal pain for all concerned, myself included.

‘Damon, do you know what I do each morning when I wake up?’

Our party was lounging by the pool, sipping drinks and generally chilling out underneath the Bahamian sunset. Jay’s villa was indeed magnificent, lying on a vast estate which not only contained the palatial mansion, but a state-of the art golf course and other sports facilities, and most impressively, a large beachfront overlooking the ocean.

It had been a non-stop party since early afternoon, and in spite of myself, I had been having fun. I’d only managed to exchange a few heated glances with Beyoncé all day, and had not had the opportunity to even talk to her, let alone be able to tell her what I intended to. There was a lot of stuff else to occupy my time though. They seemed to have scoured the entire land of Bahamas for the most attractive pieces of flesh, as there were up to a hundred chicks of the local variety present.

After several hours of prancing around in the swimming pool and grinding with good looking honeys on the dance floor, I’d decided to take a breather, and was making some light conversation with Def Jam founder Russell Simmons, and record mogul LA Reid, both of whom had also been invited for the weekend, when Jay-Z had asked me to join him to discuss the business proposition he had mentioned earlier. I’d assumed it was just a ploy to invite me over for the weekend, and was surprised to see that he really did have stuff to discuss with me.

Seated at a roundtable underneath an umbrella some distance away from everybody else, I was at first apprehensive, but I could see from the tone of things that this was to be no hostile meeting. I could spot Beyoncé eyeing us from where she was sitting with her mom and dad with curiosity. Damon Dash, looking slightly ridiculous in a multi-colored shirt and a cowboy hat, as well as a third man I understood to be Kareem ‘Biggs” Burke, a silent partner who also possessed some stake in their business ventures. Jay-Z, however, was the one doing the talking.

‘No,’ I said in response to his earlier question, ‘I don’t know what you do when you get up in the mornings.’ I was not exactly sure that I really wanted to know the answer.

‘I laugh my ass off,’ he simply said.

He laughed at the blank look on my face and went on, ‘Look around you, Damon, I’ve got it made. Life is so good to me, real good. I’ve got the hottest chick in the music business on my arms.’

And do you know that this hottest chick of yours was sucking my dick earlier today like there was no tomorrow, I was tempted to blurt out. I kept my mouth shut.

‘Musically, I’m holding it down,’ he went on, ‘I’ve been holding it down for close to ten years now, and there’s no competition. I had to retire because it was getting too easy, even with retirement, I’m still the undisputed best rapper alive.’

Best rapper alive? A certain white boy from Michigan would have something to say about that, I thought to myself. Again, I kept shut and let him go on.

‘I got a half billion dollar empire, and that’s only what the government knows about,’ he lowered his shades, ‘Rocawear is the leading urban fashion wear in the world, Armadale Vodka is the fastest growing spirit brand in the country, I own my own sports franchise, the Nets, and this is still hush-hush, but as it’s going to be announced soon, I might as well let you know. I’m about to be made the CEO and president of all of Def Jam.’

‘Wow,’ I said, impressed at the last bit, ‘that’s really something, Congratulations.’

‘I could go on and on,’ he continued, ‘I’ve got my hands in so many ventures, many of which I bet you’ve never even heard of. I started out from nothing, and I’ve made it this far.’

‘I’m aware of that,’ I said, ‘and it is really something to be admired. But I don’t know why you’re telling me all of this.’

‘Because it’s time to step it up a notch, and that’s where you come in,’ he said, ‘take it from here, Dame.’

Dame Dash, who had been surprisingly quiet all this while, looked pleased at this opportunity to talk.

‘You heard Hova talk,’ he said, ‘we’ve got it made – there’s only one area where success still eludes us.’

‘Movies?’ I staked a guess.

‘Exactly,’ Dame sputtered, ‘and that’s why we want you to come on board.’

‘What do you mean come on board?’ I asked. Surely, they did not invite me all this way to headhunt me.

‘Damon, I’ve been observing you for years now,’ Jigga cut back in, ‘and I think you are a nigga after my own heart. You have that same zeal and drive that got me where I am, and I think you’ve done a good job where you are. But I think you could be doing so much more. And I think you could do it with us.’

‘You want me to quit my job and come and work for you?’ I asked incredulously.

‘Not work for us,’ he intoned, ‘I want you to come and run Roc-a-Fella Movies. You have the contacts and the vision, and I know you’ve got the ability. In 5 years, I see the Roc becoming the ghetto Miramax.’

‘But I can’t just walk on Shooting Star like that,’ I said.

‘Why not?’ asked Dame.

‘Because the agency is still growing, and I’ve committed it to some changes which only me can oversee. Besides, Dean trusted me, I can’t just defect,’ I explained.

‘I’d like to think you’d want to work with a black-owned business,’ chimed Dame, ‘instead of continuing to enrich the crackers.’

I winced at the racial epithet. ‘Look, I won’t pretend this is not a tempting offer because it is, but I think you are looking at the wrong man.’

‘I assure you we are not,’ said Jay-Z, ‘you’re a Brooklyn boy, same as me, so you’re practically family. And no one else has the kind of clout and goodwill you can bring. I know how well liked you are in the industry, so bringing in A-list clientele shouldn’t be a problem. What do you say?’

‘You can’t just expect me to make this kind of decision immediately,’ I answered, ‘I’m gonna need time to think about stuff.’

‘What’s to think about?’ asked Jay. ‘This will be a great opportunity for you, I know you don’t intend to remain an agent for the rest of your life.’

This much was true, and of recent, ever since the twin events of the birth of my daughter and my engagement to Rosario, I had been thinking of what lay in store. I still had a lot of plans for Shooting Star, but there were a lot of other dreams, unfulfilled, which could see come to fruition if I took up this offer.

‘So what are we talking about here?’ I asked.

‘We’d still have to draw up details,’ he said, ‘but I’m talking real benefits here. I hear you got plans to be a director yourself one day, and you’ll get that platform here. You’d have total creative control to direct whatever you want to, and we’re willing to back you up with a sizeable budget. You’d executive produce all the movies, meaning a 10% cut for you on net profit. You’d be working with Stacey Dash, by the way, and judging from the way she’s been following you with her eyes all day, that’s another fringe benefit.’

‘That’s my cousin you’re talking about there,’ snapped Dame. I laughed.

Jay-Z went on, ‘How much do you earn now where you are?’

‘About a million or so a year,’ I embellished. My take-home pay was at best only about three fourths of that.

‘We’d start you off on 5 mil,’ Dame immediately cut in. ‘We’re talking joining the big leagues here, my nigga. Not the low budget indie shit we’ve been doing up till now. The Roc is about to move into the majors, and you’re just the man for it.’

Quite frankly, I was finding their offer a bit too good to be true. There had to be a downside somewhere, and I was determined to find it before giving them any serious consideration.

‘So what’s the catch?’ I asked directly.

‘The catch?’ Jay-Z asked.

‘Come on,’ I challenged, ‘I know there has to be something in it for you.’

‘Of course there’s something in it for all of us,’ Jay said, ‘it’s a win-win. You help us move the Roc to the next level and you get paid handsomely for it.’

‘You’re one of the shrewdest and most ruthless businessmen in this industry,’ I said firmly, ‘I know you didn’t get where you are by generously throwing money around at people to help you move to the next level. I know there’s some hidden blueprint that you ain’t telling me.’

‘You’re shrewd, I like that,’ Jay-Z grinned, ‘that’s why I was so sure that you were the right man.’

‘You think we should just tell him the whole deal?’ asked Kareem Burke, the third man present, who had been mute throughout the discussion, and in fact was giving new meaning to the term ‘silent partner.’

‘We might as well,’ said Jay-Z resignedly, ‘we were going to keep some other details until a while later, but since you asked for it, I might as well give you the whole shebang.’

‘What’s up?’ I asked.

‘Like you rightly said, this offer might be a bit too good to be true for you, and we’re going to need you to do a few favors for us initially.’

‘What kinds of favors?’ I asked.

‘If we’re going to work together, we need to build trust, and there’s some stuff that’s going to test how much we’re willing to trust each other.’

‘Just get to the point,’ I snapped impatiently.

Dame opened up a briefcase from next to him and retrieved a file which he passed to me. I opened it and began to observe. At first, it didn’t make sense to me, mainly some tax reports and other stuff, and then, as I noticed some letters from the IRS, it all began to make sense.

‘It looks like you forgot to hire a good tax accountant,’ I said.

‘I’m gonna cut to the chase,’ Dame said, ‘those punks over at the IRS have been on our tails for up to a year now.’

‘You don’t mean to tell me that you’ve been evading taxes,’ I said in surprise. Christ, this plot was getting juicier by the minute.

‘We haven’t been evading taxes per se,’ Dame answered, ‘it’s just that there’s certain sides to our business that the government don’t know about.’

‘Illegal shit?’ I asked.

‘Not illegal,’ he assured me, ‘but it’s still stuff the law frowns upon.’

‘Don’t tell me it’s drugs,’ I pleaded. Jay-Z was a drug dealer from his pre-rapping days, and it would be indeed tragic if despite all the success, he had not fully left his past life behind.

‘I left that shit behind many years ago,’ cut in Jay-Z angrily.

‘What is it then?’ I asked.

‘Bootlegging,’ he simply answered.

‘You don’t say,’ I expressed my shock. It however did not come as too big a surprise to me, as I was aware of the prevalence of this practice among many artists who made a lot more money from pirated CDs sold illegally on the streets than the royalty per disc from their major record labels. But from what I could see before me, these people were making many millions bootlegging not only their stuff, but a wide range of CDs and DVDs.

‘Look, I ain’t asking for a lecture from you, alright?’ he snapped. ‘Those major record companies are bloody rogues and exploiters, you barely get a cent from what’s sold in the stores, you have to take things into your own hands to make any money. You think I got all this from going two or three times platinum each disc?’

‘This stuff goes on anyway,’ said Dame, ‘instead of some punk on the street making money of us, we might as well take the money for ourselves. There’s a large market of kids out there who thrive on bootlegs cos’ they can’t afford the real shit at Best Buy or Sam Goody. We’re providing a service.’

‘Negro please,’ I exclaimed, ‘a service? Anyway, casting all of that aside, where do I come into this?’

‘The IRS is on our ass over some undeclared income,’ he explained, ‘and we can’t explain where it came from, so we need somewhere to keep it until the coast is clear.’

‘You want me to hide it for you?’ I asked.

‘You catch on fast,’ Dame smiled, ‘we’d need you to hold some money for us in your company account for a year or two, and we reward you by placing you in charge of Roc-a-Fella movies. It’s a win-win.’

‘You must be fucking crazy,’ I burst out, standing up, ‘that’s a federal crime, and I ain’t ready to go to jail on no account. I’m not taking part in no money laundering or touching no dirty, illegally obtained cash. You definitely have the wrong man.’

‘Sit your ass back down, Damon,’ said Jay-Z, ‘we’re not done yet.’

‘Oh, I believe we are,’ I answered, ‘Jesus, I don’t believe you dragged me down here for this.’

‘I think you want to hear what we have to say next,’ Jay looked as calm as ever, ‘You’re going to do this for us, it’s not like you have a choice.’

‘Like you’re going to point a gun at my head?’

‘We don’t need to do that, I think you want to take a closer look at this file.’ He brought out a fresh file and handed it to me. I nearly collapsed when I took a look.

‘I thin it ain’t just us that the IRS are going to be interested in if they get a look at that,’ he said brusquely.

In the file were freshly Xeroxed copies of my company’s bank transactions, deposits and withdrawals, including the 4 million or so dollars that I had withdrawn, which had gone towards paying my blackmailers. It shocked me to no end as I realized that Jay-Z and his crew had been behind it all, orchestrating the whole deal to bait me into having no choice but to dance to their music.

‘You bastard,’ I yelled, pointing at him. ‘It was you?’

‘You’re attracting unnecessary attention, playah,’ Dame said, ‘everyone’s going to want to know what’s going on.’

‘I don’t care,’ I maintained the volume of my voice, ‘I don’t fucking believe this, you were the ones blackmailing me from the start, you sent those thugs to intimidate me, you’ve been monitoring my accounts, and Rashid…God, you who put Rashid up to this. No wonder he’s now signed as a rapper to your label, it all fucking makes sense.’

‘I didn’t get where I am today without being ruthless,’ Jay-Z said unapologetically, ‘and if I were you, I’d sit down.’

‘You fucking bastard,’ I swore, still standing up, ‘how could you screw me over this way?’

‘I didn’t make you do anything,’ he simply said, ‘you fell into the trap yourself, I’m simply taking advantage to suit my needs.’

‘Fuck you,’ I barked, aware that the music in the background had now stopped, and everyone was looking in our direction, ‘Fuck you, you thick-lipped, mumbling, bitch-ass pussy.’

‘Go on, get it out of your system,’ he looked amused, ‘I understand, get it all out, then we can talk business.’

‘There’s nothing to say,’ I went on, ‘I’d rather go to jail than do business with your trifling ass.’

I stormed off, aware of the eyes of the entire party on me as I marched into the villa for my room. I could not believe I had been made such a fool of. Everything seemed to be crumbling before my eyes. I could not even think straight. All I knew was that there was no way I was going to comply with their request. I’d rather rot in jail for the rest of my life than be emasculated in such a way. Once in the room I had been allotted for the weekend, I hurriedly slipped on some clothes, and then began to pack up my possessions in a blind fury. I was taking no further part in the weekend; there was no way I was spending a night under that man’s roof after all he had done to me.

I heard a knock on the door, which I tried to ignore, but it persisted, so I decided to address it.

‘Who the fuck is that?’ I barked.

The door opened to reveal a penitent Beyoncé, who was looking at me with a mixture of fear and guilt. God, I had been so stupid, to fall for Beyoncé and think that it was something real when she had obviously been put up to it like everyone else.

‘Get the fuck away from me, bitch,’ I yelled at her.

‘Damon, don’t say that, let me explain,’ she pleaded.

‘There’s nothing to explain except one thing,’ I bellowed, ‘A simple yes or no question. Were you put up to it? Was last night a charade?’

She did not respond, although the answer was evident in her eyes. God, I was such a sucker, allowing myself to get played like that. How could I have jeopardized Rosario’s love this way, for what turned out to be nothing? I swept my bag off the bed and began to make my way out of the room. Beyoncé, however, stood in the doorway, adamantly refusing to leave.

‘Get the hell out of my way,’ I barked.

‘No, I won’t,’ she said defiantly, ‘not until you hear what I have to say.’

‘Why would I want to listen to anything you have to say?’ I asked sharply. ‘Why should I believe you have anything truthful to say after yesterday?’

‘Please Damon, just hear me out,’ she begged.

‘I’ll stay for another two minutes,’ I told her, ‘I don’t know why I’m doing so, but you had best say what you need to say in that time.’

‘It is for real, Damon,’ she said, ‘I admit that I was put up to it, but everything else is real. I didn’t anticipate I’d fall for you this much so soon.’

‘How sick are you?’ I asked her. ‘How can you cheapen yourself as to sleep with someone to help your boyfriend blackmail him?’

‘I wasn’t supposed to sleep with you,’ she said, ‘I told Shawn that nothing happened between us, that we simply talked all night. I told him that because I didn’t want him to know that I had fallen for you.’

‘I don’t fucking believe you,’ I shouted, ‘He obviously fucking put you up to this again to make me stay.’

‘Everything I told you yesterday was true, Damon,’ she pleaded, ‘every single word of it. It was supposed to be fake, but as soon as I was with you, I found myself falling for you, telling you things I didn’t even realize I felt. I don’t want to be with Shawn, I want to be with you.’

‘Bullshit,’ I barked, ‘Total Utter Fucking Bullshit.’

‘I mean it, Damon,’ she said, holding on to me, ‘I’ll leave Shawn this very instant and leave here with you, I mean it.’

‘I love Rosario,’ I told her, ‘and you almost made me leave her based on a lie. I intend to marry her, and you almost fucking ruined that.’

‘You don’t want to be with Rosario, you want to be with me,’ she said, ‘I know you do, from the way you made love to me last night, from the things you said.’

‘Last night was just that, a night,’ I said, ‘but I’m going to be with Rosario for the rest of my life. Now, get the fuck out of my way and let me leave.’

‘You’re not leaving here without me,’ she clung on to me, ‘I’m crazy about you.’

‘No, you’re in love with that blackmailing, dishonest creep downstairs,’ I corrected her, ‘or if you weren’t, you wouldn’t agree to connive in ruining my life.’

‘I didn’t know what he was planning,’ she said, ‘I’m being honest, all he asked me to do was get close to you and establish the possibility of something happening between us, so that he could use it as a weapon in his favor. I didn’t know what he was planning, but I agreed. Do you want to know why I agreed?’

‘I don’t care,’ I said.

‘I agreed,’ she told me nonetheless, ‘because it was a chance to get close to you anyway. Ever since I met you, I always thought there was something about you, and I wanted to find out what. And I wasn’t wrong – I think you’re the man for me.’

‘I can’t even bear to look at you right now,’ I spat, ‘y’all are perverted sickos, every last one of you.’

‘Don’t say that, Damon,’ she held on as tight as she could, her eyes getting teary, ‘just tell me that you don’t hate me.’

‘Just get out of my way,’ I grunted, pushing her onto the bed as I tried to pass through the door. I hadn’t intended to use any great deal of strength, but I must have done so, based on how far away she was flung. She hit her head against the bed’s backboard and held onto it in pain, while still trying to reach for me.

‘Do not leave, Damon,’ she leapt for me, grabbing on to my shirt, ‘I can’t let you leave knowing you hate me. I’m so sorry, Damon.’

I tried to break myself free, but she was tugging with all of her strength. Looking back at her on the bed as she held on, in spite of all what was going on, there was something erotic about it. Her hair was wild and entangled, sticking onto her face by the tears that were running down, and in the frantic struggle, the top three buttons of the top she was wearing had come off, giving me a view of her breasts.

My mind toyed with having rough and violent sex with her right there and then, and then walking out on her. It would be at least one way of getting back at Jay-Z. However, the better half of my mind prevailed, cajoling me to just get out of there as soon as possible.

‘Damon, please, don’t leave,’ Beyoncé was still begging, holding on to me.

Brimming with anger, I grabbed hold of her top, and again flung her against the bed, in the process accidentally ripping down the rest of her top, so that her breasts were now very visible, and immediately stormed out of the room. I made my way onto the corridor when I caught a sight that made me certain that I had to be hallucinating.

Rosario, my fiancée, was standing right outside my room, tears freely flowing down her face. My heart sank as I watched her sob; I was too transfixed to even lift a finger to comfort her. Right there and then, I hated myself for causing her this pain, for bringing the woman I loved to tears.

‘Baby,’ I eventually said, holding her hand, ‘let me explain.’

‘Don’t touch me,’ she sobbed, ‘you bastard, don’t touch me.’

‘Rosie, please just hear me out.’

‘How could you, Damon? How could you?’

‘Baby, it’s not even like that, I swear nothing happened.’

‘Come on Damon, I heard everything. I can’t believe you’d do this to me. I’m such a fool – I believed everything you said, I thought I could trust you, I even flew all the way down here to surprise you, not knowing you’d been busy behind my back.’

‘Rosie, I love you, I swear, I was turning her down. I don’t want nobody else, it’s you I want.’

‘Damon, I can see the guilt written all over your face.’ Her voice was soft and gentle, and her tears were those of resignation. ‘Why do you keep doing this to me?’

‘Baby, listen, I done told you, nothing happened in there.’

‘Then can you look me in the face and swear to that? Swear that you never slept with her.’

I stared at her, trying to talk, but no words came out of my mouth. I knew at that point that I was out of aces, and our relationship had reached a turning point, from which it was not certain to recover. I’d used up all of my Get-out-of-Jail-free cards, and things had gotten to boiling point.

‘All I did was love you, Damon,’ she sobbed, ‘I loved you like I never loved anyone, and I was prepared to go all the way with you, I was totally prepared to commit my life to you.’

‘Baby, don’t talk like that,’ I pleaded gently, ‘don’t say ‘was going to’.’

‘I can’t stay with you, Damon,’ she wept, ‘you promised not to hurt me, and you keep doing it, I can’t do that to myself because I don’t know if you love me enough.’

‘I love you so much Rosario,’ I was close to tears myself, ‘I’m deeply crazy about you, please you have to believe that.’

‘Then why did you sleep with that skank, huh? Tell me, Damon.’

‘Hey, who are you calling a skank,’ came Beyoncé’s voice as she appeared at the doorway. She had a look of defiance on her face, but cowered when she spotted the glare Rosario threw at her.

‘Rosario, tell me that you’ll stay with me, tell me you’ll stay so that we’ll work this out,’ I begged.

‘I just need some time on my own now,’ she said, ‘I need to sort things out in my head and know that I can live without you.’

‘I don’t want you to live without me,’ I entreated, ‘I don’t wanna live without you.’

‘I wish you knew how hard this is for me,’ she said, wiping her eye, ‘but I have to do this, it’s the only way.’

‘Baby, can’t you reconsider? Is there no other way we can work this out now.’

‘I’m afraid there’s no other option,’ she said resignedly, ‘please do not attempt to call me or get in contact. Do that for me, baby. I can’t bear to see you or look at you for the time being.’

‘Honey, you can’t just cut me out of your life, it’s not fair,’ I grabbed on to her hand, ‘I refuse to let you go.’

‘It’s too late for that,’ she said, ‘goodbye Damon.’

I looked into her eyes, wishing I could find the right words to say to let her know how much I wanted her to stay, to let her know how sorry I was. But the steely expression on her face told me that no amount of entreaties was going to result in any difference.

‘Please Damon, just let go,’ she whispered to me.

There were two dimensions to that request, and as I loosened my grip on her arm, I was also agreeing to let her leave for good without further fight. Tearfully, she looked at me as if she was looking for the right words to say right before our parting. Then she beat a retreat and I watched her walk off. She was gone.

‘She’s gone,’ I said out loud to myself, ‘She’s gone.’

‘I’m still here,’ I heard Beyoncé’s voice behind me.

I turned back to look into the tearful eyes of the Jezebel who had been responsible for all of this. I wished she didn’t look so beautiful even while miserable, as it would have made it easier to hate her. I tried to think of all the worst things in the world towards her, but I realized that there was no point to that. Instead, I felt pity for her; she was but a lost little girl, who’d known nothing but being manipulated and controlled all her life.

‘I forgive you, B,’ I said, turning my back to leave.

I instantly regretted letting Rosario leave. There was so much I realized I wanted to say to her, so many ways I wanted to prove that I deserved another chance. But more importantly, I was concerned about her safety. The last time she had walked out on me after catching me with another woman, she had gone on to overdose on Valium. This was perhaps even worse, and I was terrified that she might attempt something riskier this time around.

After calling round all of the hotels on the island and confirming that none of the aliases she severally used had checked in, I had no choice but to give up and hope for the best. Nonetheless, I frantically kept calling her phone every few minutes, but all to no avail. In the meantime, I desperately needed to get back to the States. The period I’d spent in the Bahamas had been an unmitigated disaster, and I wanted to get back to familiar turf so as to begin to piece things together.

Things seemed balanced on the edge of a precarious precipice, from which my whole life would be violently hurled if I didn’t handle things right. Events always seemed to happen to me in twos. Ashley had gotten into an accident and slipped into a coma on the day my father resurfaced. I’d been apprehended at gunpoint and threatened by my blackmailers on the very night Maria had informed me about her pregnancy by me. And now, I had lost Rosario on the day that the extent of the blackmailing fiasco was revealed.

Meanwhile, all the flights out of Nassau International Airport towards the United States that evening were filled to capacity. I’d asked Russell Simmons, who was staying another couple of days on the island with his lovely wife, Kimora, for the use of his own plane which had brought him down, to ferry me back home. Luckily, he had immediately consented without asking me too many questions, and as I boarded the plane, which was considerably smaller and less ostentatious, but no less attractive than the one which had brought me over, I looked forward to a quiet, uninterrupted journey alone with my thoughts.

The seating area was large and roomy, definitely more luxurious than the first class sections of most airlines. I eased myself into one of the plush and comfortable chairs, and feeling the urge for some alcohol to take away the edge that I was feeling, I buzzed for an attendant to cater to me. I would hurl the entire bottle and its contents through the window if presented with Armadale vodka, I thought to myself. I was still chuckling at the thought of having to explain the damage to Russell if that happened, when I caught sight of the stewardess making her way into the cabin with a trolley.

‘Stacey,’ I gasped, the sheepish smile from before still frozen onto my face, ‘what on earth?’

‘Force of habit,’ she grinned, again clad in a sexy flight attendant uniform, green this time around. ‘When Kimora Lee Simmons mentioned that you were leaving on their plane tonight, it was too good an opportunity to resist.’

‘Oh my,’ I said, mildly amused, but definitely not in the mood for company.

‘And since I gather you are going to be my new boss,’ she said, removing a wine bottle from her cart, ‘we need to toast to that.’

I suddenly remembered her familial connection to Dame Dash, and by extension, her proximity to the workings of their company. She was one of them, a signature to the evil ploy that had resulted in the near ruin of my life. She had some nerve appearing before me like that, pretending all was jolly while doubtlessly mocking me inside. The ill will I was feeling must no doubt have externally presented itself as a scowl, as she looked taken aback by the look on my face.

‘Hey, what’s with the unfriendly look?’ she teased as she popped open the cork of the bottle. ‘I thought we were celebrating here.’

‘We don’t have nothing to celebrate,’ I said, glaring with unbridled hostility, ‘I refuse to have anything to do with your company or yourself. Frankly, I think you wasted time and effort following me here.’

‘Come on,’ she smiled, remaining surprisingly unperturbed by my coldness, ‘why are you trying to fight this? It’s not the worst thing in the world.’

‘Not the worst thing?’ I spat, ‘I was baited into cooking my company’s books, my best friend was instigated to stab me in the back, and now, the woman I love has left me.’

‘I’m sorry to hear that,’ she indeed seemed a bit shocked, ‘I didn’t know they’d go to that extent, all Jay and Dame told me was that plans were underway to recruit you.’

I burst into a fit of genuine laughter. ‘Recruit me? That’s the funniest thing I’ve ever heard. Do you recruit one by getting to the very root of his happiness, or by setting him up with Beyoncé so that his fiancée could catch them on the spot?’ I was unburdening, I realized, more for my benefit than hers.

‘You were creeping with both Beyoncé and Michelle?’ she asked, wide-eyed, ‘wow, I guess you really deserve that reputation of yours.’

‘Nothing was going on with Michelle,’ I snapped, ‘and nothing should have happened with Beyoncé either. I should have been strong enough to resist her. There’s only one person I want to be with…and she’s gone.’

‘Look Damon, I’m sorry you lost your girlfriend,’ she said softly, moving closer, her hand stroking my cheek, ‘but that’s the way things work sometimes, people go to any lengths to get what they want. You just have to learn to make the best out of every situation.’

She moved even closer, her body making slight contact with mine. I seemed under the impact of a spell which rendered me immobile. Time appeared frozen as her frame inched towards mine, and as I took in her scent, I felt unwelcome stirrings in various regions of my body.

‘And now that she’s out of the way, you should have no further objections,’ she continued, whispering as her soft lips suddenly brushed against mine. They felt like warm velvet, and I was transfixed, until I got hold of myself and pushed her away.

‘You need to bounce,’ I maintained, ‘haven’t you guys messed me about enough?’

‘Don’t fight this, Damon,’ she looked adamant, unhooking a button and exposing more cleavage, ‘let’s do this.’

‘You’re wasting your time,’ I maintained, ‘just leave me alone to lick my wounds.’

‘But Damon,’ she unhooked another button as she moved towards me, ‘we’re going to be working together, seeing so much of each other. We can get even closer.’

Her finger was on the hem of her dress, which she lifted gradually, flashing more and more tantalizing thigh. She was stunningly hot, I had to admit, and under most other circumstances, I’d have fucked her without drawing a breath. But to indulge myself now would be like stamping a seal of approval on their twisted machinations.

‘Stacey, my girl just left me,’ I said to her.

‘Get her off your mind,’ the dress was rising even higher, ‘I’m here now, willing to do anything you want. Anything.’

Her dress reached her waist, just underneath her crotch, and I could not help but stare at those bronzed ebony legs, devoid of a single pound of superfluous flesh. I could see that she was nude underneath the tiny stewardess uniform, which made things even more erotic.

‘Don’t hold out on me for much longer, Damon,’ she whispered.

As my primal, physical senses awakened, so did the emotions within me. I was threatening to explode, a twin ball of both desire and anger. Desire for this woman who stood before me by my body, in spite of itself. Anger at the situation I found myself in, at Stacey for endorsing it and coming over to seduce me as though all was well with the world.

As I battled with myself, it dawned on me that fucking Stacey would not make a jot of a difference; I had absolutely nothing to gain or lose. Fucking her would not make the threat from Jay-Z any more or less real; fucking her would not make Rosario any more or less gone. So she wanted to get fucked, fine by me.

‘Fine,’ I suddenly said, pulling her close to me. With all the force I could muster, I held on to her and clamped my lips onto hers, kissing her with brutish force. The change in my disposition quite visibly overwhelmed her, but in no time, her arms were around my neck as she tried to return my kiss. My mouth was firmly on hers, my teeth biting against her lips so hard that I would not have been surprised was I drawing blood. For some reason, the whiff from fragrance was driving me nuts; I did not know why, but there was some inexplicable reaction it caused in my body.

I put all my strength into the kiss, pulling her even close to me by holding on to her buttocks, greedily grabbing as huge a chunk as my right hand could take. Meanwhile, I slid my other hand in between her legs; she indeed was commando. Her pussy was soaking wet, waiting for me. Without taking time to explore its geography, I slipped three fingers into her hole, finding it surprisingly easily accessible.

I brought my mouth away from hers, bringing it down her face and to the nape of her neck, tracing it down her cleavage. She was spreading her legs wider and wider open, wrapping her left leg around me so as to give me ample space to operate. We were like beasts in the jungle, totally hungry and desirous of each other, though probably for different reasons.

‘Take me Damon,’ she said as her hand reached my groin area, patting my rising cock.

With fervor, I ripped open her dress from the top, the few buttons that were left completely coming off the seams. Her dark, ripe breasts were there in all their glory, inviting and welcoming. They had a very slight droop, but were still pretty much firm, not at all betraying the fact that she was damn near 40.

‘Yeeeeaaaaaaaaah,’ she cried as I viciously pressed her tits together with both hands.

I was beginning to lose control, every bit of me wanting to derive as much sexual pleasure from this situation as possible. She was so into it as well, and I could see that with each turn of violent or rough activity that I took, her excitement seemed to grow. I increased the force with which I was squeezing her tits, and it only served to raise the volume of her cries as she egged me on.

‘Shut the fuck up and quit yelling like a lil’ bitch,’ I barked.

She seemed surprised by the authoritative turn I had taken, but she showed no qualms in complying with my order. She continued to whimper though, as I pressed and ground her boobs.

‘Now turn around,’ I commanded.

‘Oh yes, Damon,’ she quickly obeyed, holding on to the seat in front of me so that her fine little ass was facing me.

‘You wanna get fucked huh,’ I said as I grabbed her hair.

‘Do what you want to me, Damon,’ she spoke softly, ‘anything you want.’

‘You’ve been dogging me all day, trying to get a piece of me,’ I bellowed, tightening my hold on her hair as I shook her head. ‘Come on and let me hear you say it.’

‘I want to get fucked,’ she cried.

Without further ado, I released my cock from its stable, and it burst free, ready for action. She was crouched forward onto the chair, her ass puckered up so that her cunt was just accessible in the doggy position.

‘Take this, bitch,’ I said as I rammed it into her waiting snatch. It was wide enough, providing no obstruction or barrier on my way in. She didn’t seem to expect that much inside her at once though, judging from the cry of pain that she let out.

‘You’ve got something to say?’ I demanded loudly.

‘Just fuck me,’ she whispered, ‘fuck me good.’

Just then, the plane began to taxi. The pilot must have announced at some point previously that take-off was about to commence, but in the midst of it all with Stacey, it must have escaped both our attentions. Of course, Stacey herself must have left instructions with the genuine flight attendants that we were not to be disturbed, as none of them had come in to ensure that safety precautions were taken.

‘Hold on tight,’ yelled Stacey as the plane lurched forward.

I felt my balance falter, and I held on to Stacey’s ass for support. My dick already inside her, I began to ram in as fast as I could. As the speed of the aircraft picked up, so did the pace with which I was pounding her. With each thrust, my entire mass seemed to be crashing into her, but she seemed to be handling it well, getting a rush out of the discomfort.

In any case, her comfort was the very least of my priorities; I really could not care less whether or not she was at ease. In fact, on the other hand, the greater her discomfiture, the better it was. This was not in any way about her, I realized as I continued to ram my weight inside her. Sure, she was a beautiful woman who occupied my fantasies about ten years earlier, but she was merely serving a purpose; she had offered her services when I needed an avenue to pour out all of my frustration and anger. Anger indeed was surging out of every vein in my body.

I continued to thrust in and out with all the force that I could generate, each inward movement more powerful than the last. Stacey was muttering some gibberish, but I was hardly paying attention to her. Part of me was screaming to stop, but I could not help myself going on. This was the period I should have been mourning Rosario, but I felt as though there was no further reason for me to be responsible to anyone. Why continue to try in vain to lead some exemplary existence when fate was still bound to find a way to fuck me in the ass?

Was this what I had jeopardized Rosario for – mere sex? Was this to be my life now that she was gone? Hard and loveless sex with replaceable females, trying to get a rush by being daring like we currently were doing, having sex while a plane was taking off? I looked down at Stacey who was moaning and writhing in delight, urging me to go on. Suddenly, I despised her more than anything on earth. I despised her for being allied to the people who had caused this mess, and I despised myself for screwing her despite the fact that I knew this.

‘Screw me harder, Damon,’ she was crying.

Out of the blue, I found myself wanting her to hurt like I was hurting, wanting to cause her physical pain. This was just a game to her; I was but a conquest, a challenge that had been overcome. I despised her for not being Rosario, and all of a sudden, it all came triggering to me why I was reacting to her scent the way I was. She had on the same perfume Rosie usually did.

‘Fuck you bitch,’ I yelled, sharply slapping her ass with my palm.

‘Ooh, Damon,’ she let out, her cry reflecting a juxtaposition of pain and pleasure.

I slapped her ass again, even harder this time, hoping she would feel it. I wondered where this sadistic streak was coming from, but I had no desire to curtail it.

‘Hit me, baby,’ she urged, ‘I didn’t know you liked this rough.’

Shit, didn’t this bitch know that I wasn’t playing? Couldn’t she just shut up and take it like the slut she was?

‘Shut the fuck up,’ I barked, still pounding away as I pummeled her side with my fist.

‘Ouch, that hurt,’ she said as she looked at me.

‘Good,’ I grunted, ‘that’s exactly what you deserve,’ I said, hitting her ass even harder than I had done before.

I pulled her hair, bringing her face closer to me as I pounded. She looked like she was in pain, even if she didn’t terribly mind. She was obviously getting a rush from her submissive part of our sadomasochistic interaction. I couldn’t help a small pang of disappointment; it would have been more fun had she put up more resistance, but nonetheless, I was going to ride this thing till the very end.

I was building up towards a thunderous orgasm, and as I held on to her for one final wave of thrusting, I noticed that the plane seemed to have steadied itself midair, judging from the lack of turbulence. As my climax hit, I brought out my cock from her insides, the white, viscous liquid splashing its way out all over her backside. As I emitted my juices, I seemed to be letting out a lot of my emotions too, and a double purgation seemed to be taking place.

As I stared at Stacey as she lay on the floor, a cum stained mess, overwhelmed by all of the brutal sex, my insides felt so rotten. All of the emotions that I thought I was letting loose during the sex; the anger, fear, guilt, self hatred, seemed to have amplified all of a sudden, and I wanted nothing more than for Stacey to get the hell out of the cabin, and leave me alone to wallow in my state.

It is said that before he can reach a turning point, every alcoholic has to hit rock bottom where he comes to a state of realization. The self-destructive path I’d been treading could be likened to habitual drunken stupors, and as I crashed onto my seat, holding my head, I could be said to have arrived that abyss. However much I tried to absolve myself, it was my weaknesses that had led me to the spot I found myself.

Why had I not fought stronger to resist Beyoncé’s advances? Why did I not let Rashid down when he came to me for money, or at worst, find another source of money? It was hard luck, but nobody but myself had gotten me into this mess, and nobody but me was going to get me out. If Gay-Z and his sidekick, that P. Diddy wannabe named Dame Dash, wanted a fight, then that was what they were going to get.

I made up my mind there and then that I was going to give it all it took and wage every battle necessary in order to get my life back on track, and regain control of the situation. I’d faced too many hardships, worked too hard all my life in order to accomplish all that I had so far, and I was not suddenly going to lose stomach because Cock-a-Fella Records wanted beef. I was going to remain with Shooting Star as long as I wanted to, and would not let anybody tell me to run my company in a certain way.

And more importantly, I was going to get my girl back.